Katys Darkness - First Chapter

Katy's Darkness

I woke up. I saw the darkness surrounding me, but I got up like I always did. I got up too face my problems, much like I did yesterday and like I will tomorrow. I always get up. I live my life. I carry on.

The light shone through the curtain, and I opened the blue, silky curtains as wide as they would go. I needed some light in my life. What was I to do? Who would help me through this? No one even cared about me, not the real me. No one wanted the real Katy.

As I got into the shower and wondered, what was I doing? Why was I living like this . Why was my question, why? I got out of the shower and watched the drops of water falling from my hair, rapidly then slowing down and down until they reached the floor. I opened my wardrobe, and took out my school uniform and placed it on the bed but I put my clothes like I had all the time in the world. Because too me I did, they didn’t really care if I was late to school, never the less showed up at school. So I did have all the time I wanted if I wanted it.

Slowly I put on the short black skirt and the yellow polo-shirt with no care of anything as my thoughts where anywhere but there; my thoughts were far and away in freedom, in love, in anything but this. I rolled up the skirt, and I smiled as I put on a bright neon pink belt and bright hairclips to match this. Suddenly, I was landed back to earth, to reality whilst I sat in front of the mirror, and looked at myself, I put Katy on, her state of mind, her way of being ; her make-up, her voice, her expressions, her mascara, her foundation, her lipstick, her eye shadow.

Everything to keep up the image. After putting it all on, my face felt, I don’t know, heavy but I was too scared to rebel. They made me like this, I thought to myself. “If only I could ...” I whispered, “Katy , hurry up !” my mother interrupted. I looked at her through my door, her long brunette locks where in a smart ponytail hair-do and her bright blue eyes sparkled in a sad manner. “Okay” I replied. I made some toast and I left without another word, like every other morning and I walked to school, like every day other day. When I came out that door, I left all my worries there, no one wants to see that side of me, they just want the fun side, not the messed up side. No one will help me sort that side out. When I came out that door, I left me.

My phone beeped. I had to meet Jay in 10 minutes at the bridge on the way too school. I texted back, and hurried along the long thin dark path. I looked around and everywhere I looked was shadow consuming everything. The dark grey clouds covered the sky, getting bigger and bigger. The path was almost never ending but the closer I got to the bridge, my heart started beating faster and faster. I ignored everything, everyone too, around me. I was sure that I wasn’t alone, I could hear the muttering around me and behind me , It wasn’t there for me. But I just concentrated on getting there, seeing him. I don’t know why I still even wanted to see him. This is all, well his fault, this is how I lost all my real friends. He’s the sole reason for Katy.

Everyone thought that I had it all; I had all the boys, all the populars, all the crowds. I was the most popular girl in school; everyone thought my life was perfect. But they were wrong, and I just felt like screaming at the top of my voice the depth of my feelings and how much I wish it was all like it was before. It was far from perfect and it was all because of Jay. Being popular meant leaving behind all the real friends I had, it had meant changing, it meant being not me. But it was deeper than that, a lot deeper than that but it’s too late now but I just wonder what would have happened if things where different.
Nearly there, so close to the bridge. I’m just wondering, what’s the point to all the suffering. Before I could even start to think properly, Tallulah and Nicole appeared in front of me. They were my “friends” now, I had wished for this for so long but now I had it all. I wanted it all back like it was before.

I said quietly “leave me alone”. They left, took the other route without even asking what’s wrong and I couldn’t have cared less . I just carried on. I could see him now; his dark skin, his blue Adidas hoody. And I felt finally I can see him alone. It gave me hope, seeing him, it made me think, maybe, one day, things will change for the good, and someday we will be free.

My heart thumped loudly under my skin. I walked towards him, and he kissed me. He kissed me like he meant it. His soft lips on mine. He was going to help me through it. He was going to rescue me from this mess we’ve landed ourselves in. We left everything behind and tried to hold on to the moment. I held onto his hug, to his kiss, I just held on to him and just stayed in his arms until it started to pour down with rain. “Damn storm” we laughed. He was one of the only people I had left in this world to trust and He was going to help me put the shattered pieces back together.

“Crap, Katy look at the time !”, “one more kiss” I insisted. And after that, we left hand in hand; we raced towards the school gates. “Slow down please” I called out in exhaustion and we laughed and laughed. We got there and they just after we got in they closed the gates. We were the lucky ones. We always were, but luck couldn’t stay with us forever.

We had to work for what we wanted. Just like everyone else. We would work hidden, in silence without telling a word to anyone. The most known popular couple in the school couldn’t be seen as “clever” or “hard-working”. We had to be the funny ones, the naughty ones. Because otherwise, who knows what would happen. We couldn’t take the risk. We just pretended nothing happened. Everyone did. But everyone knew what happened very well, not one person excluded. And no one did anything to help. That was the biggest problem. But we would survive