Norma's Needless Necessities

Hm-m-m, auctioning on the internet? Now there's an idea. Norma's heart raced as she thought how this could pay off for her. What a great way to dispose of my inventory that's not selling. She retrieved a box from under the counter in her little shop, Norma's Needless Necessities, and began to fill it with items she would auction off.

For the next few nights she spent time researching how to go about using this new tool. She invested in a digital camera and prepared to make her fortune....well, at least get rid of some dust catchers and make room for new inventory.

Spending five hours a night for a week, Norma photographed, edited, uploaded, and listed her items on Amazon and Ebay. One item she offered was a carving. The artist used a piece of cedar tree--approximately four inches in diameter and eleven inches tall--to carve what seemed to be a wizard's face. Norma loved the carving but it needed to go.

Maybe if I write a little fable to go with the wizard, it would draw more interest among buyers. She entitled the story "The Wizard of the OZarks" and laughed at her cleverness. The story told of a Wizard who granted the possessor his/her deepest desires. The owner did not have to know what this desire was for the Wizard of OZark always knew what lay within the deepest confines of the heart.

The first auctions closed with one item being sold. "Rats, only one sale out of seven items. On the other hand, I have my first sale. Whoopee! The Wizard sold!"

Dear Rixchix:
You were the highest bidder on the Wizard of the OZarks cedar carving. Your winning bid was $9.00. Please send a money order in the amount of $13.65 ($9.00 plus $4.65 shipping and handling) to Norma's Needless Necessities, #1231 Historic Way, Onia, AR 73432. Congratulations on your win! Norma Rockett (Bomecr)

Dear Bomecr:
I have mailed the money order to you in the amount of $13.65. However, as a first time buyer on Amazon, I should have received a 10% discount. I did send you the whole amount you asked for. As a seller you should be more aware of the rules. I look forward to receiving my carving. Thanks, Richard.

P.S. My address is:
Richard Este
234 North 6th Street
Arcola, IL 65832

Dear Mr. Este:
I am so sorry to have forgotten about your discount. I was aware of the discount, but just forgot. Wish I had a really good excuse. Apparently, I suffer from senior moments and this one was a doozie! Since you indicated you've already mailed your check, please let me send you something as compensation. I have some Ozark Hillbilly postcards that I think are quite humorous. I shall send you some as recompense. Sincerely, Norma--who is one step closer to the old folks' home.

Dear Norma:
No harm done. In fact, I am sure I shall find the postcards great fun. I visited the Ozarks several years ago and really liked what I saw. It is beautiful country. I appreciate your speedy response and your desire to be a fair seller. I also note you seem to have a good sense of humor. Perhaps we could keep in touch. I also suffer from senior moments and would like someone to commiserate with. How do you make those funny faces? Thank you very much, Rick

Dear Rick:
The postcards are in the mail, as they say. I appreciate your ability to forgive and accept my peace offering. I will certainly be giving you a very high buyer's rating. You do seem like a nice person. Perhaps we could stay in touch. Norma

Dear Reader:
I know you are wondering where the "punch line" is and I am sure my teacher is searching to find the "lucky break". So, without further ado, let me mention that seven months later Rick & I were living together. Nine months later we were married. And, today, we have had nine and a half years of wonderful senior moments together. Rick counts that ninety cent overcharge as money well spent. Norma