Worldly Descent into Madness

On any day, which could much be today or yesterday or yet tomorrow, opening ones eyes to the brightness of our sun and earth. Looking out at beauty beyond compare. Wake to another
day brushing with the spirits of yesterday. On this fine day we start with a great heart. An open mind hoping for the best, cringing at the worst. I step beyond the shadows into the light
of tomorrow.

Today is like any other day this world has brought to me. I do my usual 3 s's. So far so good. I did not fall in the shower. I did not cut myself shaving. I did not fall down the steps. I did not choke while eating my morning breakfast. And I did not get hit or hit anyone on the way to work. So far so good.

The morning at work was as uneventful as any other day. Which both a curse and something to be thankful for. I walk from my desk to drink my drink only to come across a note.
A note not seen by eyes but the soul. I reach for the note only to find it is not there for me to grab. It is beyond the reach of the light. "What is this?" I ask myself. There it flutters like
a feather in a strong wind. Teasing me to come forth. Chasing my heart to the ends of reason. I turn to just walk away, but my legs, my arms, my body will not move. I struggle to fathom
what of this hopeless feeling. My only feeling of comfort is in the fact my eyes can move. I can see my office I am still near the cup on the table. The note still hovers next to my drink.
I am struggling for the sake of struggle, when I feel my feet, then my legs give and I fall to the floor. My eyes wander from left to right. I spot the note come closer then even closer.
It enters my eye and settles in my brain. This is the thing that I was trying so hard to capture. My eyes close and the nothing of blackness. So far so good.

I often wonder to myself why I do the job I do. Waking each morning only to the foul stench of death. The thing is I went to school to become a doctor. Hoping to get into family
practice. That was not to be. I went into Fairfax West Univesity of Medicine with high hopes. I came out with a degree in criminal pathology, and a whirl of confusion, I went forward.
And forward brought me to this typical business office. I do not even know what they do here, but I do know what happened here. Somebody had died, violently at that.
I usually come in expecting the worst. Even the worst did not prepare me.

Their body bent like no contortionists dreams. Twisted beyond what an recognizable human is or was. Eyes fixed upon a single spot frozen in time. This was something new and exciting,
yet somehow sad and scary. My eye suddenly spots in the corner a puzzle piece. I would usually pass this off as something just lost and forgotten, but for some reason it just stood out.
I knew I was here in no other facility as to try to explain how this person died.

So going to the puzzle piece and picking it up is not within my grasp. As I struggle with this reason, I notice my feet and legs moving without my reasoning. I mindlessly stoop over
and pick the piece up. I have to chuckle at this, because this is not the first time this has happened. A few years ago I noticed I do this quite often. The first I can remember.
Was when I met my first girlfriend outside of college. She was walking down the street and I on the otherside. When All of a sudden I was standing there talking to her. Not knowing what
I said or what I did, it was all like a dream. Thing about it is every time this happens it is like I am in a trance. I come out of with the knowledge of what I did, but no way to control
myself. So far so good though, as it has never harmed me.

That is until today.

With the fresh memories of this poor souls end still on my mind. I go for a numbing at the closest pub. I figure after a few shots I can forget this for atleast a little while. The thing is
this puzzle piece still puzzles my poor fractured mind. It had stood out like nothing else there. I half wondered why nobody else had noticed this brushed up into a corner like most
everything else lost and discarded. This fades as fast as the thrid shot goes down.

Twelve shots and a night past, I wake to the thumping of a garage band in my brain. The morning sun breaks through my eyes in a shot of pain through my head. "Fucking hangovers!",
there is nothing worse save child birth or death. I peel myself from my sweat soaked sheets. Only to come to an abrupt stop halfway off my bed. I look at my table there sits the puzzle
piece. Not knowing why the hell this thing intrigued me so damn much. My mind wanders in and out. Then it hits me...... Garage band with the drums pumping like a piston against my brain!
My mind is focused on three things now asprin, coffee, and a shower. Hopefully yesterdays stench can be washed off with todays water.

My plan today was to go into work and help my fellow officers in finding out what happened to the guy from that office building. It was puzzling, there that word yet again. For now that
will have to wait. My mind is singally focused on the task at hand.

For some reason we can not figure out how this happened. We have been here for nine hours and we have yet to determine what had killed him. Nothing in his body was broken it was
just bent. Like a piece of playdough sculped to fit like this. His organs were all perfect like he had died not more then ten minutes ago. What had killed this man was beyond me. There
was no evidence that could be found either with the autopsy or the investigation of the office. My mind goes back the the piece and how I felt this was so important. As I stand there
spacing out, I snap out of it because our day is over. It was decided this was the best time to call it a day. We can start fresh in the morning.

I decided to skip the bar tonight, for my head was still sort of thumping. I am not sure if this is from last night or a whole new thumping in my brain. I stand and wait for the 10:15 to
Billings Park. I could walk it it is not more then 2 miles, but I fear my head will not let me get that far without a cure of whiskey. It is 10:20 the bus is late, which is not unusual, but
for some reason it is troubling me tonight. I want to get home and take another look at this puzzle piece. Finally as my mind was turning to the thought of walking the bus turns on to
Tower Avenue. Only 15 minutes late tonight oh shit what a great start to a long night.

I get off the bus at 11:05 and make my way to the porch. I walk to the door half expecting the puzzle piece to be sitting there wating for me. This thought quickly passes like
any fleeting thought. I walk closer to my proch only to hear the thumping again. This time it sounds like it is actually not just in my head!


---------------------------------------------------- rough draft ending.----------------------------

Walking through these narrow streets makes it hard to breath. My heart skips a beat with every sound in the seemingly deserted alley. The darkness seems all around me now. No light save for the lamp at the end of the block.

Each sound seems closer to me. The light seems to be getting further with each step. I try to run but my legs seem paralyzed from fear. In my panic I seem to catch my foot on something. I trip and feel around for what it is I trip.

I come to realize there is nothing there. My heart settles to a slightly less panicked beat. Then I feel in my pocket I can not find my notes from the day before. They must have slipped out in the fall. Damn it why am I out in this street at this time in the night? I reach around grasping for what ever it is I can grab.

I feel what seems to be a small stick of some sort. With a perfect knob at the top I can wrap my aging hands around. I use it to pry myself from the ground. My legs are not what they used to be and that trip itself made sure it would be a tough climb back to my feet.

Finally I right myself. I try and strain my eyes looking for evidence of my notes. It would not be so important if not for the fact they were going to bring a man to justice for his atrocities against all mankind.

I think I spot something in the dim light there is no way to know if this is real or imagined. In this darkness my eyes play tricks on me. I seem to be seeing things moving all over the place. I slowly come to see that it is not my eyes playing tricks on me. The ground is moving. shifting from side to side. It looks as though it is breathing.

With every breath it seems to be coming back from some great slumber. I pier through 65 year old eyes with a lifetime of near-sightedness. Only to come back to the lamp. Which by that time seemed to have been swallowed by the darkness. Its light only beckons me to go to it. Yet I am so fearful my feet are glued to this spot. I finally grow enough balls to turn and start walking slowly at first. Then in an instant they are at a full speed run.

My old legs are not going to last much longer. They are already jello and if I am not careful I may tumble again. With what ever it is just behind me, it is only a matter of time before I meet what it was that had stood before me just a second ago. I close in on the light and I still have a little feeling in my legs. The light is getting brighter and brighter with each step I take. I notice something out of the corner of my eye. I catch a glimpse of a shadow, but there is nothing in front of me that could cast such a shadow.

It seems to rise in the air as if to swallow me whole. As my body and shadow close in. It seems to hunger more for my very soul. I feel as though it is beckoning me to its awfulness. I am drawn to it like a hunter to a wounded beast.

As the darkness comes down upon me. I can no longer run. My legs give out from under me. My arms are no use they are to my side in a coma of their own. My heart relaxes to a slow beat. Or so i think it seems to no longer beat at all. Like the middle of a forest on a moonless night, my eyes see only blackness. My senses numb and succumb to the shadows. My mind finds peace. I am but a figment to imagination and memories now.