Avenging Alice

Alice sat on a tree stump, having the loneliest moment of her life. This crazy mixed



up place was like a nightmare. Nothing made sense, no one here seemed the slightest bit



sane, and she couldn't get any help to find her way back home. She had been accosted and



abused by a number of mentally disturbed characters who all pretended to help, but



actually just wanted to mire her in their own strange delusions.

Alice felt anger boiling up inside her as she thought of the injustice of it all.



What right had they to abuse her so? She was just an innocent girl trying to find her way



home. She had never harmed anyone in her life, and she was treated like a criminal. She



stood and stamped her foot.

" Enough of this sitting and feeling sorry for myself. I've tried to be reasonable



in this very unreasonable place. These creatures have no manners, and I will not stand for



it anymore! It's time that someone taught them all a lesson. "

Alice reached into her apron pocket for the piece of mushroom that she still had



left. She took a tiny bite and shrunk to a height of three centimeters. The grass and tree



stump loomed over her, impossibly large. She fought her way through the grass stalks,



searching for the remaining piece of mushroom. Suddenly she heard the sound of approaching



feet. A colony of army ants was headed her way, marching in single file. The lead scout



spotted her and sent up a cry.

" Sir, I've found the deserter ant! This way, hurry! " The colony went into double



time, hot on Alice's heels as she ran. She could just picture herself becoming a prisoner,



forced to carry crumbs and shovel dirt for the rest of her life. Suddenly she spotted the



piece of mushroom before her. She dove at it just as the ants were grabbing for her. Landing



in the spongy mass, she opened her mouth wide and took a savage bite.

She felt herself soaring up, up, up to a height of fifty feet. She could no longer



see the ants, but she spotted their hill and trampled it. She took giant strides until she



came to the flower garden. She began plucking up roses and tulips and daffodils, crushing



others beneath her feet as she walked.

" How dare you call me a weed? You'll be lucky if I keep you in a vase!" She stuck



the flowers in her pocket and continued on her way. Suddenly she spotted a gleaming grin in



the branches of a tree.

" And you! You foul feline, I know just what to do with you! " She snatched up the



smile, which quickly became a frown, and pulled Dina's belled collar from her pocket. " I've



had quite enough of your shenanigans. You'd better start acting like a proper cat, or there



will be consequences! " she growled, as she strapped the collar to the newly-revealed neck.

Alice marched on until she came to the palace of hearts. The royal couple was



startled out of their croquet match. The flamingos and hedgehogs went scurrying in all



directions as the queen bellowed for her guards. Alice scooped up the oncoming pack,



shuffling them until they were dizzy and flicking them to the far reaches of the kingdom.

" There is a new queen in this kingdom now, and there are going to be some big



changes around here! " Alice bellowed. " You can all pledge loyalty to me this very minute,



or suffer my wrath! " All the creatures within the palace walls hurried to kneel before the



new queen as Alice contemplated the best way to make a keychain out of a rabbit's foot.