The family jewels showoff

There is no place or event where extraordinary exhibition of family jewels take place, like during weddings in India. This story "The family jewels showoff/Exhibition of Family Jewels" is about feud which sours a wedding occasion because women attending the wedding along with the bride start a jewel "exhibition" match.. The whole wedding becomes like a tragic dance drama or an opera - where bridegroom is sidelined (and he was seated motionless like a sculpture) and wives and husbands of close relatives and family attendees are engrossed in gossips and comparisons.

Every woman is a biological scanner system (because she has to make the tough choice of letting a person in her life - sometimes marriage is like an entrapment or invasion of a country - you are let in so easily and are not let out so soon) . She creates an impression about another man or woman based on a quick scan. The older she gets, the deeper the scan becomes and it will no longer be physical scan. Gold merchants in societies often exploit this scanning mentality among women which obviously leads to comparions like who is wearing the most jewels and the most beautiful ones..This comparison is so powerful that sometimes it even overshadows a happy occasion like the marriage as given in this story.

While in societies where Gold and Jewels are not given that much prominence, this comparison is more towards sexy bodylines of preconceived notions of men and women and their financial status, in societies where Gold is augmenting a girl's beauty Gold and jewel along with sexiness are taken into consideration - sometimes Gold and Jewels occupy the whole vision of women that they see nothing else.

This wedding takes place between a bride who is of a wealthy well-off background. Her great,great,great grand father ruled an Indian province and had many thousands of acres of farmlands, temple properties and labourers. Her family is very entrepreneurial and have been able to keep the wealth by doing business - food processing - packaging cereals, dairy and latest into seafood. She has 4 married sisters all of them settled in 4 southern states. When each one got married, as per custom, they got their 1/4th share of their gold and ornaments which belonged to their family. Many took their share to be refurbished, re-made, extra diamonds added - to be worn and exhibited during family ceremonies. While these ornaments served as a token of exhibition of family tradition and a message that "We are still well off you see". The extra ornaments and diamonds give the message "We are still maintaining our richness, taste". Here's the problem, those 4 sisters got 1/4 of their gold share - leaving very less to bride. She is left with her grand mother's ornaments which has no takers by her sisters. Though she is well educated and has many friends who believe in a class-less society, when she sits down for marriage decoration, her instincts kick-in - she becomes depressed that her dad did not care for her as she sees those diamonds shining in her sisters and she has only some pale gold ornaments which are left-overs. This is one thread in the story.

As far as the bride-groom goes, he is only from a middle class background. His great,great,great grand dad is not so wealthy. They do not have that much family gold ornaments to be displayed during these occasions. His great,great,great grand dad was a rich merchant who had many hectares of farm lands and many wives. Instead of adding to wealth, he added more children and heirs who were fighting with each other over ancestral land ownership. He had to divide the property among all his heirs and finally the bride-groom got very little (a poor old house and a couple of un-cultivatable lands).

That's why his would-be father-in-law decides that unlike the previous 4 son-in-laws who were rich industrialists, this last son-in-law does not need that many gold and diamonds. He arranges for him very less rings and ornaments. Though men never cared, in Indian weddings, the gold ornaments provided indicate respect - the lesser or cheaper those gifted get, indicates that lesser respect you have (or so will be the grapevine created by your close relatives when they see this). Though he is well-educated and believes in a class-less society where everyone should work to get what he/she wants, he gets offended that his father-in-law chose to have him wear some faded rings and gold chains which had far-too-less diamonds that his brother-in-laws. But again, the relatives of bride razzle-dazzled with their exhibition of jewels. He had to keep quiet - his mood was spoilt - when his own mother complained that he should be deserved better (one of those instances when a woman stabs a man's brain with an invisble knife which leaves him with conflicting thoughts which sours happy mood of good occasions)

Coming to the marriage hall and floor, the relatives and friends of bride and bridegroom can be clearly seperated out - by their jewels. Again they formed their own islands/groups of people - so the left half had to seat bride's family and relatives and right half has to seat the bridegroom's family and relatives. With the videographer showering the audience with high beams of flash light and reflection of all those diamonds, the ambient light almost blinds the videographer - when he starts video shoot of bride side.

Someone entering the marriage hall will feel from a distance that there is so much of light that they some day-night cricket match is going on. The difference in reflections are so much across the 2 aisles, that jewels from bride side were dazzling like the big sign-boards in heart of metro cities, while on bridegroom side, it was dull like the lowly light poor suburbs of indian cities which suffer from low-voltage and power blackouts. Accordingly the feel-good factor was very high on bride side of aisle with many smiling faces and teeths and it was low on bride groom side with many closed mouths and sarcastic grins. The women in bridegroom side of aisle obviously have their eyes transfixed and scanning on other side. This kind of subtle staring and comparisons are catching up like a virus on all the women in both sides of the aisle. Women on the well-off bride side thinking what kind of family is our girl getting into (who cant even afford diamond jewellery). Women on other side wondering how their boy is going to cope up with the families on other side..

The marriage event completes in an uneasy fashion - women are never tired of wearing an entire armor of jewels all those times. To top everyone is the crown jewel worn by one of the sisters, a diamond necklace danging all the way from neck till the waist (like a big bulky dazzling chandelier hanging on a tiny hook - people gaze at it and wonder if it could fall down due to it's own weight). The marriage is about to get over with the climax of tying the knot, people are about to wish the couple, have dinner and most of them were leaving.

Right then, that event happened - There is a major power failure and the Uninterrupted Power Supply malfunctioned and there was pitch darkness. The bride-groom having just tied-in the knot see the entire marriage hall plunge into darkness. His mother come closer to him and whisper in his ears that it is bad-omen - which the bride overhears and the wife-mother-in-law cold war starts. She whisphers to him that their family members are well-behaved and know manners and knew when to talk what..When power eventually returned, the crown jewel's big diamond pendent hanging at bottom in bride's sister's grove is gone missing. It has just been 2 minutes when all relatives surrounded and mobbed them (to complete the knot tying ceremony) and he had tied the knot, there has been a plunge of darkness, someone lost something and quarrel has started between his mother and wife.

No one noticed the lost diamond pendant for almost an hour - then her husband noticed it -. It is a tricky situation, how to search for a diamond whose worth is almost 30 lakh rupees in a crowded marriage hall - where most of the people are decent and are wealthy themselves - where there are wealthy and not-so-wealthy mixing together in an happy occasion.. Soon the doubts fall on some of the not-so-welcome-or-invitied guests from bride side..

There were singing and dancing and gala (late into the night) - while the husband of that sister is running around the hall enquiring everyone from videographer to children playing about the diamond pendant - his marriage is at stake if he could not find the diamond pendant before the next occasion of marriage closure ceremonies - where there is a final photo-session.

He and his wife get into many closed-room-sessions of arguing and cursing and his wife was cursing him for bringing her to the marriage of her sister which she never approved. Everytime she gave him a sign through her eyes, they were having this closed-room-session. In the 1 hour time, he had as many as 5 closed-room sessions with his wife. Women have used this technique for centuries - venting out their frustation on someone else on someone closer to them.

Thankfully he can speak 4 languages, he was able to enquire to all guests who came from many different states. He even started to pray to God. Then his prayers were answered as the diamond pendant was found in one of those trays where they bring in pleasentaries for marriage. He pounced on it - before someone took it for a bridal procession outside and finally handed it over to his wife - His expression showed a sigh of relief - same way as a weary dog forced to catch the frisby and bring it back to it's owner has that look - do not throw it again.

After dinner is over, several oldies as usual have put pawn and started talks and comparisons. There were even talks of a royal heritage and how rich the bridegroom's great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather was.. It was time for the bride to do a ceremonial horse/car ride round the town/village - mostly it is just towards the nearby temple to pay tributes to the godess in that temple. It is almost midnight and the long day is winding down to an end..

The marriage per-se is over - but close relatives have to stay for next day - for the "tearful" send-off. The ordeal of the husband is not yet over. Now since it is a small town, there had been no arrangements for private bedrooms for families. All families and friends had to share a common big hall with beds laid on the floor - Here comes the catch - now that the show is over - where to store the jewels - in a safe place - and who will guard it.. Now comes the turn of the husband - the sister puts her jewels in a suitcase and they use them as pillows . Everyone has gone to bed with occasional snores of obese uncles who were very tired because of the strenous marriage rituals where they had to carry the "chubby" bride on their shoulders.

It is 5:00 AM in the morning, the sister took the pink color suitcase she had brought from home and went to one of those private rooms allocated for the bride's close relatives. She opened the suitcase - instead of finding diamond necklace she lays her hand on dirty langhooty and jibba - she was about to scream - but called her husband in his cell phone - while he was fast asleep not knowing that his far-relative who was sleeping next to him also had a similar pink suitcase and he had mistakenly taken the suitcase with Rs.75 lacs worth of jewels. She calls him to the private room and shows him and he gets another "closed-room hearing". By the time he came out of this rude awakening it is 6AM in a chilly morning on the village side.

He orders his chauffer to take the car to nearest railway station which is 2 km away. He came to know that his far-relative had left for the 6:15 AM train and he should somehow stop him and retrieve his jewels. The new luxury car was flying at 80-90kph in the dusty village roads with dust, garbage flying around, his driver does so many stunts like overtaking a buffalo herd, tractor, several lorries and dashes towards the railway station. It appeared to villagers like a car rally through a desert. In the process, the car runs over several chicken and people gathered and were furious - Some passers pelted some stones.

He finally got the cell phone number of his far-relative. He picked up the phone and told him that he had already boarded the train and is on the move. He had boarded in the crowded un-reserved compartment. To confirm he opened the suitcase in front of all his passengers only to find many mouths which are agape on seeing the shiny jewels. Some even suspected him of robbery. Thanks to the nation-wide roaming plan, he had been able to converse and provide update on movement of train. The husband thinks of a plan to intercept and get the suitcase in next station where the train will stop for 15mins. The train tracks deviated from the parallel road and they went into the forest/woods - As fate would have it, a goods train carrying oil and milk container derails and container falls on this track. The train is stuck in middle of nowhere and there is nowhere the passengers can go.. They are stuck..

Meanwhile at marriage hall, sister is expecting her husband to return back - He is waiting for the train - Station master tells him that there had been an accident and train will be indefinitely delayed.. He was wondering now, whether he can trust that man - what if he runs away, what if some dacoits board the train, what if someone gives him drug biscuit and steal from him..

It is now 7:30 AM in the morning. The send-off ceremony is at aroun1 PM. The new bridegroom is very tired after having spent the earlier night in a cramped bedroom surrounded by 50 of his close relatives sleeping outside the bedroom in the hall. The bridegroom's side arranged for a giant 10 seater SUV. In Indian roads, we need 2 things to indicate that your vehicle is the most powerful one - first is that it should be a giant SUV with giant tires and clearence (which gives a message that pot holes or mini-stones or dividers or artifical road blocks using twigs and branches can't stop the vehicle) and next most important thing is a "flag" (usually of the "ruling"/most powerful political party of that region). When we have these 2 in your vehicle, you will earn the fear and respect of all pedestrians in the country side as well as in highways.. The SUV is decorated to carry the bride,bridegroom and close relatives is ready and arrived promptly with driver at 8 AM.

Meanwhile, enroute, the husband (carrying the langhooti pink suitcase) is anxiously watching the time in his watch waiting for the accident to clear and train to arrive). Then after a long wait, at 9 AM, the railways send in the accident-clearance coach which has a crane to lift off the wagons which fell ont he track, repair the track. After a long 3 hour wait, eventually at 12 PM,the train slowly grinded to the scheduled 15min halt. He was running like hell to the un-reserved coach - there to his great relief, he sees his relative, he swaps the suitcase (hastily checked the contents) and is off the station at 12:30PM, He asks his driver to hurry up. The driver is new to the rural area and sticks to the same route they took while coming. They reached the village where they ran over several chickens and goats - The husband instructs the driver to take a chance and drive through the village.

The approach roach to the village is a 2 lane road which winds like a serpent throught the paddy fields. Then his bad-luck (because of school closure that day), several kids were playing cricket in an empty field, spotted the car. Then one of the kids, rolled out a mud-ball and threw it like a cricket ball from midoff position. The luxury car, slowly grinding at 40kph, fearing the worst, then suddenly and accurately the mud-ball blasts the rear window, screen. Then the kids alerted the village - just like a small political rally, suddenly a mob gathered and surrounded, they were quarelling that they pay for the chicken and goats. Then the husband came out and shelled out Rs.1000, still they were not satisfied - then suddenly an agressive youth attacked the car with sticks - then in the melee they started to hit the car. They came they saw, they mobbed, they damaged the car and just in a flash they assembled, in a flash they disappeared. He saw the car, despite all those thumpings, there were only minor scratches - Just when he is relaxing that worst is over, a 12-13 year old boy, ran towards the car with a pitch-fork crying "You killed by chicken!!"- He scratched the left side of the car with the pitch fork - giving 3 stripe end-end of the right side of the car. He punctured the tires and ran-away. He was calling the 24 hour towing facility - since the nearest center is 150km away, it will not be till evening they have any chance of reaching the bride - whose town is 80km away.

Out of desperation, he called his wife and says that he got the jewels but will not make it on time. His wife reluctantly forgives him this one last time and asks him to take some ride somehow and reach the town.

As the driver and husband, sat inside the car (parked under shade of the tree away from the village), he spoke in a soft voice to the driver " Now i know how the kid got the idea of using the pitch fork - He showed him the x-men united local translation movie poster on a mud-house near a paddy field - which shows wolverine with a claw)..But thankfully it is not HIS car - It is car of his NRI uncle who had moved abroad several years back asking him to take good care of his car.. He was waiting for some vehicle (car/auto/tractor/lorry or something to pass through that remote town) - but no luck..

Story fast forward...

After getting lift in a police patrol jeep, he reaches back town just in town to hand over the important necklace his wife and bride was looking for before the sendoff ceremony and he opens up the suit case and he finds the same old langhooty and jibba and his driver mobile is unreacheable and he is absconding (Flashback- the driver had a similar dummy suitcase and hands him over to swap at train station and before he got lift from police patrol jeep, he actually handed him the jibba suitcase hid in the trunk - which under guise of fixing flat tire, he opened it up and kept the jewel suitcase..). - he curses his driver in foulest language possible in front of the crowd - the police search throughout border checkposts, there is no trace of him.. He has had enough bad experience in 2 days that changes him forever and he decides never to attend any wedding ever again in his life..

During sendoff ceremony, his sister was confused if she should cry for her sister leaving her house or if she had lost her favorite collection of jewels..

Years pass by, Sister and her husband was driving to a vacation spot and in middle of highway, the stop at a motel for lunch - then during that time, a porsch BMW screehes to a halt in front of hotel and gets parked in a hasty manner in front of his hotel and out comes a rich jewellery business man like figure with many female models - as if they are going for a photoshoot to a scenic place for shooting latest jewellery design and to the astonishment of the sister and her husband - it was their former driver - Then also he uses the same foulest language and gets evicted from the hotel. While he was leaving the hotel, he gets his final revenge - he pulls out the air from all 4 tyres and scribbles a foul word in the trunk of the car..

The end.