Opposites

Made entirely of opposites,
a tension pulling both left and right sides
nerves snapping, fibres breaking,
not a cell within agrees entirely
and don't work as a team.
A man divided cannot stand,
but I am not a man,
or has my mind forgotten that?
The adversity of will; conscience fight minds,
mind fights heart, heart fights apathy:
that is, shutting down, freezing up.
Yet still, emotion speaks quietly;
happiness (however rare) whispers
and sadness seeps in slowly,
never hits me without warning.
While slowly I grow grave, well up,
think the swelling wave will burst, but continues higher,
(and higher, and higher)
and then! And then instead of overflowing,
tears spilling, emotion showing
pouring out all of my thoughts and troubles
on to some sympathetic soul,
instead! Instead: I shut down.
Run right out of batteries, burn out,
lie on the kitchen floor, no tears,
no words, no sighs, just simple, quiet
somber unhappiness.
But then, of course, back of my mind,
as opposition is so easy to find,
there is a voice, persisting, speaking
words of dark but powerful existance,
telling me to wake up, get up, shape up,
grow up
act the part, restart, stop complaining,
get back on the clock and as my mind wrestles
I obey.
And though there's dying batteries, upholding gravity,
pulling me to the ground,
I disagree and this time hold my palm to the seperate argument
and pledge to withstand.
In times of triumph and defeat
still all emotion's bittersweet with such
a debate in constant action
bursting through subconcious
making me very aware, yet though a pitfall
still a vice, a crutch, unhealthy but
what keeps me standing up.