While I wait

Why can I not see clearly

why does this affect me so?

I don't want to be stronger

I'm tired of being strong all the time

being the one that is sacrificing

my own deepest desires
.
I just turn and walk away

and treat them as they are nothing

pretending they don't exist

with a smile on my face I tell you

everything is so wonderful

and I'm dying inside

laughing as I cry


I am what happens to those left behind

waiting for someone to come home

knowing they never will

so I will just settle

and never touch what it felt like

to be fully alive again

never be taken to that place

so I stay on the surface

floating on this sea

of lies and pretty pictures

that I will paint and create

while I continue to wait

for someone who I know

will never come home