Life

So..where do i start...? I'm a 20 year old Puerto Rican living in Brooklyn New York. I'll start buy saying that it sucks living in the projects in Brooklyn, someones always getting shot or jumped, theres almost always urine in the elevator, and there are always crack addicts when you come in and out the building, the point I'm trying to makei is that it's deppresing living here. I honestly don't know how people here take it all in, do they just ignore it? or do they simply don't obsses about it? or is it just me, am I sensitive to these things? I think it all started when I visited Puerto Rico (PR) when my grandmother passed away in 2005, I was in PR for a week and I could still remember the heat, people, beauty, the animal sounds at night,  the warmth in my heart, and the feeling that I was at home again. I came back from PR, and I was discusted of how people acted and continue to act here in New york, it's easy to look at them and not think their deperessed, or maybe depressed is not the right word, but they act very gaurded with each other, maybe from all the adversity here no one is really 100% comfortable with each other, again my point is that compare to PR people here act like zombies with sour faces. In PR people are much nicer and caring to each other, people seem vibrant and alive, I can't really explain it... I thought I should share that with whomever is going to read this, New york is shit if it wasn't for Manhattan and tourist places like 42nd st, Central Park, Museum of Natural History, South St Seaport, so on... Don't get me wrong there are nice places here, but you have to have money to live there and even then theres violence everywhere in NY, I want people, (Mayor Bloomberg being one of them) to see what's still happening here, with education, street and gang violence, police abuse and racism, and so on but especially EDUCATION, look at my grammar(I'm barely getting my point across because I'm eliterate), it's bad isn't it? Thats because through out the 3rd grade and so on I've been skipped to the next grade without knowing jack shit on correct English grammar and math (especially math), my math is of a 4th graders level and probably worst, the teachers didn't pay much attention to the students, it's like they had their minds set that when we got older we would typically become gangsters or hoodlums. It's BS, and ti'll this day it pisses me off that I'm 20 years old and finally going for my GED, I'm not saying you can't make it out the "HOOD" but, it's extremly difficult to with all this negativity around you, we dont got it as easy as people living in the suburbs do you know... I hope I made a point, I am as honest as I could be here and I've wanted to get this off my chest for a long time already... This is how I cope, although I may not be the best writer or even close to it, I believe that practice makes perfect and if I keep writing I will eventually get better at Speaking proper english without having to sound eliterate..This is my life, what more can I say, I'm not whining I'm just trying to make my life better by acting and having something to find peace in(writing) with the way I interpret the world right now, I know the worlds bigger than the hood, I know I'll make it out of here with all the adversities and thats where this NY saying comes " If you can make it in New York you can make it anywhere", I believe that saying is especially for people living in poverty and in projects here, it is America right? My only hopes are that it gets easier for the people here,I hope for better teachers, more programs, this thought taken away from people that its still cool to be a "hood-rat", and more leaders. That's all for now...