Liar

You lied.

You lied to me. I trusted you and you lied. Why? Why would you do that? You knew I loved you. You know I love you still. But you lied anyway. Was I really that meaningless to you? Was it really that easy to throw me away? Was I nothing, just an insignificant pastime? A coin of silver when you wanted gold?

Because to me you were more than that. To me you were everything. Everything that was good and right and pure in the world. You were joy and happiness. You were what made life worth living. You were life. You meant everything to me.

And for a time, I thought I meant everything to you. You led me on. You told me I was beautiful. You smiled at me like I was the whole world to you. You held me close, tenderly, like you actually cared, and kissed me so passionately and deeply it made my heart stop. I thought it was real. I thought it was true. But it wasn’t. It was all a game. I was a game to you, wasn’t I?

You didn’t understand. You still don’t. You don’t understand that when I would tell you that I loved you, I meant it. I meant it. And when you would whisper in response that you loved me too in that low, sweet voice, I assumed you meant it as well. I thought you would always tell me the truth. I trusted you.

I trusted you.

I gave you my heart and you broke it. Crushed it. Tore it apart like a fragile piece of paper, slowly and painfully. Excruciatingly. That was my heart. My heart. The heart I gave and entrusted to you. The heart that I will never have again. It’s yours forever now. It’s yours and I can never get it back no matter how much I want to.

Because despite it all, despite everything you’ve done, despite the fact that I know you’re a liar, I will continue to love you. To care for you and cherish you and admire you. I will continue to love you like a fool, even as you move on and find other people to make you happy. Because for me, you’re the only one that can make me happy.

You’re all I want.

You’re all I need.

You’re all I’ll never have again.

I know it’s over. I know you’re done. But I’m not done with you. And I don’t think I ever will be.

So here I’ll stay. Patiently waiting. Hoping desperately that you’ll come back. That you’ll realize that no one will ever love you the way I do.

But I know that day will never come. Because to you this relationship was empty. A pointless and meaningless charade. Nothing.

You told me you loved me.

You lied.