True Love ..

Enroute to Scotland for a second honeymoon in 1965 both my parents were killed in a plane crash. I was at that time eleven years old and my sister Katy Ann was fourteen. With no other close relatives we went to live with our Grandfather Ryan Mackleby who ran his own newspaper in the town of Elmwood, Saskatchewan.
Life with our cigar-smoking Grandfather, who was not accustomed to the company of children, had its ups and downs which were eased somewhat by the kindness of his elderly housekeeper Mrs Carruthers who lived with us in the rambling old house on Green Street.
As a newcomer to school I made few friends but there was one fellow who didn't seem to mind my company, perhaps because we had something in common. Neither of us had parents anymore.His name-so far as anybody knew- was Blimp. Blimp Hanlon. He lived with his Grandmother because his parents had separated and didn't want him around anymore, I guess. But Blimp didn't let that get him down, not even at that early age. He wasn't quite as big as his namesake but he was certainly on the portly side of the scale-a cheerful, stocky boy with plenty of dash and swagger like an old swashbuckling buccaneer. All he lacked was the obligatory eye patch and peg leg and-well, more about those later.
Like any self-respecting pirate Blimp was always skirmishing with authority figures and sailing in and out of scrapes out on the turbulent waters of the playground. He was the most outspoken kid I had ever met and perhaps that explains whay people-those who were not actively trying to kill him-tended to avoid his company. He too had few real friends but there was one girl, a special girl. Isn't there always?
Her name was Esther. Esther Stevenson. She had long beribboned blonde hair, laughing brown eyes behind glasses and a wide sly smile when she was teasing someone. She seemed to enjoy teasing Blimp more than anyone. He'd swell up like an indignant rooster, thrust out his chest, cock his head to one side and glare at her with a beady eye but I think she could tell at a glance that he really didn't mind the guff. He was nuts about her.
So was I after awhile I am ashamed to say but I tried not to be for Blimp's sake because he was my friend. I learned early on that he easily became jealous when Esther paid attention to other boys. Don't get me wrong-she wasn't a flirt. But she liked to have fun, she was a friendly person , a happy girl and she liked to be with people and have fun. I'm not sure you could sasy the same of Blimp.
As we grew older and entered High School,still chumming around together, the three of us, Blimp became ever more outspoken.Anthing could set him off. Take the music on the car radio for example:
"It stinks, Mackleby! Why in the hell can't they play some Buddy Holly?
"Because he's gone out of style. And besides, he died didn't he?"
"Makes no difference. Great music lives forever Mackleby, you should know that by now."
On the contempt shown to food service workers and their products Blimp was quite vocal as he worked in the school cafeteria.
"What the hell is so demeaning about preparing food for a living? Do they despise their mothers for feeding them all those years? Somdbody has to cook. And what is so bad about the food we serve? There are a lot of people on this planet who would be damned glad to get it. The problem with people in the western hemishere is we're spoiled. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out."
On the over-emphasis of Hockey in Canada:
"Nothing irritates me more Mackleby than the bland assumption that every male in this country only lives for the moment when he can get out on the ice with a stick in his hand. Am I really the only one who would rather read a good book or go for a quiet walk with his dog?"
"You don't have a dog, Hanlon."
"Makes no difference, Mackleby. My point is not everybody has pucks on the brain. Surely not. If they do I'll move to Mexico."
Now you have to understand that Blimp went on at length like this quite often and as I say it didn't take much to set him off. Quite a bit of our time when we three were together was spent listening to one tirade after another. It got a bit tiresome and after awhile Esther would roll her eyes at me or wink and flash me a sleepy smile of resignation. God she was gorgeous! All the while he was spouting off Esther and I would be communicating with silent gestures and facial expressions. Of course I felt guilty about this. I knew he cared for her but damn it so did I! And if he would rather spout off his views on how rotten the world was than pay attention to the blooming young lass who sat between us then so much the worse for him! I was no world crusader. My thoughts and feelings were centered much closer to home. I couldn't help myself. She was so beautiful you see. So full of warmth and humour and intelligence. She used to give me hip checks and joke that she was broad at the beam... At fifteen with Blimp's ring on her finger I thought I might be in love with her. By seventeen I was sure of it and to wrench my heart away and fix it on some other girl seemed unthinkable. I knew I'd left it far too late.
By then Esther and Blimp had been going steady for two years and anyone who thought about it must have assumed they would eventually marry. I thought about that possibility a lot and felt pretty bummed out about it but there was nothing I could do about it. Blimp and I were still friends and I knew that I should be happy for him.
But I was too selfish for that. I wanted Esther now more than ever. I lay awake at night yearning for her. My sister Katy Ann knew something was up. She had watched us together over the years and drawn her own conclusions.
By that time I was playing drums in a band and my weekends were usually spent playing gigs in coffee houses and at school dances in the small towns in the vicinity. The few times Katy Ann saw me at home on a Friday or Saturda night looking miserable she advised me to go out and meet someone. When I told her there was no point in doing that she saw how it was with me and told me to hang in there- you never knew what would happen. Time passed.
Then one day at school I saw Esther walking arm in arm down the hall with Jamie Slack, a tall good looking jock who had half the girls in school after him. She was laughing and they seemed to my surprize to know each other quite well all of a sudden. How long had this been going on I wondered. What had happened? I hadn't seen Blimp in a while. We had drifted apart a bit of late, mostly because of my feelings of guilt.
As the weeks went by it became increasingly apparent that neither of us had much of a chance with Esther anymore. I began to hear stories. She had broken up with Blimp some time ago and spread her wings as if to make up for lost time. Jamie Slack and his affluent friends made a fast crowd and were very exclusive. Her time was fully occupied.
Meanwhile Graduation Night was fast approaching and I had to scramble to get a date for the dance. A girl named Cherry who sat beside me in English class and with whom I had joked around a bit over the past year said she was free that night and wouldn't mind going with me. I was amazed and quickly accepted her offer.
From my friendly neighbourhood bootlegger Al Weidermeyer I bought a bottle of his homemade fig wine for the occasion. He assured me it wasn't nearly as bad as it sounded and was cheap at the price-on special-one night only. I took a chance on it against my better judgement. My transportation was already arranged. Grampa Mackleby had agreed to loan me his old maroon coloured Hudson provided I refill the gas tank again and brought it home again in one piece. He had had it for thirty years and was rather attached to it.
The big night finally arrived. I drove into the school parking lot having picked up Cherry on the way.She looked as I looked-like she was prepared to go through with this for the sake of the dance. We parked beside a rusty old green Chevy that was fondly familiar. Blimp Hanlon was sitting there alone in the dark behind the wheel.
I went around and opened the door for Cherry and she got out and Blimp hailed us from the shadows. I coould smell the rye from his opened bottle as I turned towards his car.
"Mackleby my son, how goes the battle or should I sayi bottle? Would you care for a drink? Bring your girlfriend over I'm more than willing to share."
I said hello and introduced Cherry who sniffed disdainfully.
"Well you two lovebirds(I flinched at the term as I'm sure did Cherry) this is a big night for us all. How did our illustrious Valedictorian put it? We stand at the threshold of a new life awaiting us. Onwards and upwards! Some crap like that. C'mon take a drink with me and we'll celebrate. I've had more than a few already sitting here thinking about the past eighteen years of fun and frolic. Let's flush 'em! Let's flush those eighteen years of fun and friendship down the friggin' toilet where they belong. What do you say Mackleby? C'mere and put a kiss on your old pal Blimp's sad fat face. What's the matter with your girlfriend Sean, she looks like she's gonna puke. Listen, Cherry is it? Y'know Cherry I had a girlfriend once. Real nice girl. Sean here knows her, don't ya Sean? And ya know what Cherry? She dumped me- right in the friggin' toilet. Said she wanted to play the field. Funny, I never knew she cared for sports. Like a drink Cherry?"
I hated to see him this way. "We gotta go in Blimp." I said . sensing her impatience."Why don't you come in with us and we can all grab a coffee? We could all sit together. It's supposed to be a hot band."
"Oh yeah? Got Buddy Holly in there have you? I kinda doubt it Seanathan. Well carry on then and have a good time. And if you see Her in there with her ritzy friends tell her I took a whiz on Slack's right front tire. Car's parked right over there if you don't believe me. Seemed like a good idea at the time. You can see the puddle I left gleaming under the lights. Looks kinda poetic I thought. What do you think?"
"Good night Blimp." I said. "Do me a favour and sleep it off before you tryi to drive home , ok?"
"Words of wisdom! Words of wisdom Cherry from my old friend Motormouth Mackleby. Piss off now like a good lad."
"Is he always like that?" asked Cherry as we walked away towards the school.
"No, he's a good guy really once you get to know him. He's just going through a rough patch right now."
"I gathered that." she said tartly.
I had a feeling of doom that night like things were coming to a head.I couldn't seemed to shake it no matter how good the band was. I knew something bad was going to happen.
About two hours later I was paged off the dance floor. There was an urgent phone call for me out in the foyer. I felt sick in the pit of my stomach. It was my sister Katy Ann calling from home.
"Sean, Grandma Hanlon just called me. It's Blimp."
I felt my throat constrict. "What's happened?"
"The police telephoned her. Blimp was involved in a high speed chase just south of town. He rolled his car and was pinned under the wreck. I'm sorry Sean."
"Jesus Christ." my heart was hammering."Is he dead?" There were tears in my eyes.
"He's been taken to the hospital. But he almost bled to death before they could get him out. He's pretty smashed up. Will you be going to see him?"
"Of course, if they'll let me. What time is it?"
"11:15."
"They might let me in. It's worth a try. How's Grandma Hanlon taking it?"
"She's pretty upset. Blimp's all she's got."
"Well I'll see you later at home. Don't tell Grampa Mac, it'll onlly upset him. He always liked Blimp."
"He already knows. Drive carefully Sean."
"Good point. See you later Katy."
I hung up the phone and stood numbed for a minute or so. The band was playing A Whiter Shade of Pale..
I walked back inside the gym and made my apologies to Cherry. I told her what had happened. She didn't seem too surprized or to care all that much. Great, eh? Then I looked around the darkened room until I spotted who I was looking for. There was something I still had to do. I walked along the wall beneath the crepe streamers to where Esther was sitting with her snug coterie of athletic supporters. She looked up at me with mild interest or was it contempt in her eyes. So did one or two of the others sitting there.
Butch Crandall, a husky football player set down his glass and looked up at me with an ugly sneer across his pug face. "What do you want, Mackleby? This isn't exactlyi your turf , is it? Where's your fat friend? Passed out with his head in the john?"
That got a few laughs all around. I looked at Esther who hadn't laughed. "No, actually he's lying up in Intensive Care over at the hospital. He was in a car crash."
To her credit Esther looked stunned for a moment. She bit her lip and looked away.
Jamie Slack spoke up in a lazy drawl. " What exactly do you expect us to do about it? Hanlon's a fat piece of shit. A misfit. Who cares what happens to him? Now why don't you just run along back to your girlfriend with the flat chest. She looks as though she could use a few laughs. Hanging around with you ought to provide them." More laughs all around.
I walked away, planning to take Cherry home and try my luck up at the hospital.
I was just getting into my car when a hand gripped my arm. I turned, expecting maybe Butch Crandal there to give me the royal send- off. But it wasn't Butch, it was Esther.
"Sean I'm coming with you. Just to see him. Is that alright?"
"Sure." I told her cooly." I figure I owe you that much for old time's sake.
She looked away.
"There's room in the back. I have to take Cherry home first though."
"Ok." she said quietly and climbed into the car.
I drove to Cherry's house and thanked her for coming at the door. She said it had been alright and that I had "interesting" friends. Her tone was frosty but I figured I deserved that for the time I had given her. I wallked back to the car feeling lousy.
Esther had moved into the front seat. "Otherwise people might take you for my chauffeur." she joked."Nice suit."
"Gee thanks." I quipped. "Actually I doubt if anyone cares who you ride with anymore, Esther. You're not that special." It hurt me to say that to her. I started the car and pulled out.
She turned her head and looked at me in surprize. No contempt this time. "You're not making this exactly easy for me are you Sean?"she asked me.
"Why the hell should I?" I said. "Blimp was my friend and you dumped him. How do you expect me to treat you now, like Jamie Slack's high priced slut? It's all over the school."
Her eyes flashed."You've got no right to speak to me that way Sean Mackleby after all we've been through together! I don't deserve that from anybody."
"Yeah right. Play the role. I heard different."
"If you're referring to Jamie and his friends it might surprize you to learn that you and Blimp are not the only starfish in the sea. I broke up with Blimp three months ago when he asked me to marry him, if its any of your business. I didn't want to marry him and I didn't have to. And don't sit there so self rightously and pretend you're so concerned with Blimp"s happiness. That's called hypocrisy in my book. I know how you feel about me. I've known it for years. But you never did anything about it, did you? Did you think I was going to just wait around for ever while you enjoyed yourself playing the long suffering martyr? I've been free for three months now and you haven't even called. Maybe you've been too busy playing around with Cherry Stinson. You made such a lovely couple tonight at the dance. It's just a pity that she's taller than you."
I sputtered."Look, don't pair me off with Cherry. We only went together tonight cuz neither one of us had real dates."
"You could have asked me. I would have gone with you. I'm just your size."
"I didn't know you were available."
"Well you know it now Mr Mackleby. The question is, what are you going to do about it?"
"What the hell can I do after what's happened to Blimp?"
"You can quit wasting our time and go after what you want.This has got nothing to do with Blimp anymore no matter how we may feel about him. Do you want me or not? I'm not going to wait around for ever, you know Sean."
"Jesus, Esther you put me in a hell of a spot. I'd feel like a rat if you and I got together now with Blimp lying there up at the hospital probably at death's door. I mean, what kind of a friend steals his best friend's girl? The worst kind, right? I could never do that to Blimp and you know it."
"I don't belong to anyone Sean Mackleby and if you're not interested then maybe I better find my own way over to see Blimp."
"I didn't say I'm not interested."
"Then why don't you do something about it and quit sitting on your hands? Take me out after we go and see Blimp. You and I have a lot of catching up to do and after Grad...well..time is on the wing."
"All right." I said "I'll do it." I didn't feel so hot. My hands shook as I pulled away from the curb and drove towards the hospital. Somehow we made it there.
I parked the car and we walked up the sidewalk under the stars. Visiting hours were long over and the nurse at the admitting desk had no information regarding Blimp's condition other than his room number. She looked at us all togged up in our best clothes and smiled.
"Are you friends of his?"
"Yes we are ." I said, sure of that at least.
"Well It's against hospital policy but you might try the intensive care ward on the fourth floor. I doubt they'll let you in to see him but the nurse on duty could probably tell you how he's doing. Don't tell her I sent you though, she has a sharp tongue. Good luck now."
I thanked her and we rode the elevator to the fourth floor. When the doors slid open an orderly with a pale face and tired eyes wheeled a draped form into the car. Esther edged past it and I followed her over to the nurse's station. It was very quiet on the floor.
Esther did the talking. " Do you have a patient here named Hanlon?"
The middle aged nurse looked up at us and frowned slightly. "Are you relatives?" Her voice was crisp.
"No, friends. Close friends."
"Visiting hours were over at eight thirty. They shouldn't have let you up here at this hour. The patients are sleeping."
I spoke up. "His name's Blimp. Can you at least tell us how he's doing? Is he gonna make it?"
The nurse's eyes softened somewhat and she consulted a chart. "They brought him back from surgery about an hour ago. His condition is stable and he's resting comfortably."
"Could we just see him?"
"I'm afraid not. He's still very groggy from the anasthetic.Why don't you come back tomorrow in the afternoon?"
"Please! It's very important! We need to see him tonight!" Eshter's voice trembled.
The nurse looked at each of us appraisingly, then sighed. "You do understand that he's lucky to be alive? They had to give him a blood transfusion before they could operate. If I let you go in there will you promise to behave accordingly?"
"Of course." I said. "We're not children. We understand how bad he is."
She pushed her chair back. "Come this way then."
We followed her down the hall to a door midway down the corridor on the left hand side. The nurse listened a moment and then opened the door.
There was a dim light over by the bed and I could just see Blimp's sheeted form lying there. A monitor was beeping slowly and steadily somewhere in the darkened room. There was the sound of laboured breathing which caught now and then and then resumed. I thought Blimp must be sleeping. At least he was still alive.
The nurse walked over to the bed and checked an I.V. drip hanging on a stand. She came back to us and said quietly. "I'll give you a few minutes alone with him. He may wake up or he may not. Don't touch anything please, least of all the patient." She walked past us out of the room leaving the door ajar.
Esther was standing by the bed looking down at Blimp. She reached down and brushed the hair out of his eyes. Blimp opened them and looked at us with slowly dawning recognition."Hey you guys." he said and cleared his throat.
"Hey Blimp." I said feeling lame.
He wheezed and struggled upright with diffculty. His face was puffy and it glistened with sweat.
"Should you be doing that with that tube in your arm? " Esther moved to assit him.
"S'all right. Can't hack lying flat.....my leg." He gestured vaguely. "Really did it this time Mackleby." He chuckled, then wheezed and coughed raggedly.
I looked down and saw with horror that the blanket dropped off abruptly just below his left knee. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed this first thing. "Christ, I'm sorry man. I should have gone with you tonight. You really fucked yourself up bad. You could have been killed."
"It's funny," he wheezed "My foot hurts like hell and it ain't even there. Can still drive though, that's the good part. Thing is, I don't know if I want to. " He looked at me."Totalled my car off. Took the curve too fast. Cops, sirens , the whole nine yards. Happy Graduation, right Sean?"
Esther had walked away towards the darkened window. Now she whirled round on him. "It was so stupid!" she told him furiously."You hurt yourself. Why did you hurt yourself? I never wanted this. You were supposed to go on. I wanted you to go on, get over it, get on with your life instead of living in the past. You could have found someone else and been happy for once. I never wanted this mess! How could you do this to yourself? How could you do this to me? How do you think I'm feeling now?" She was crying now,sobbing.
I went over to her and tried to comfort her."Esther,.hey no, take it easy."
She shook me off. "No Sean, it was selfishness. He knew I wanted to get on with my life and now he tries to destroy himself just to get back at me. That's you all over isn't it Blimp? You always have to get back at people who hurt you."
There were tears in Blimp's eyes. "I didn't think you'd care." he said.
"Of course I care. So does Sean. We came, didn't we? That's what friends are for. But don't try this again Blimp. This isn't the way to hold on to them."
"Will you come again to see me?"
"Of course we will. Like I said, we're your friends , aren't we?"
"Still?"
"Always. That goes on forever. You should know that."
"Thanks, Esther. Feeling better now...maybe get some sleep. Take care of her Mackleby."
"I will man. We both will . She's our special girl."
"Always has been." he said with a sigh and a sleepy smile.
Blimp made a complete recovery. The only really difference with him was that after the accident he wore a peg leg so I guess you could say his pirate persona was now complete. After our visit at the hospital Esther and I drove out into the country to talk things over. I think she knew that I had planned to ask her to marry me but after seeing Blimp that way neither of us wanted to take things any farther down that particular road. I'll admit that I was a bit disappointed over how things turned out but maybe it was all for the best. I guess you can't always get what you want out of life. But like the Rolling Stones said in their song, you sometimes get what you need. I think that's all we really needed all along. True love. We are all still, the three of us, the best of friends. And isn't that what true love is all about?
Avast ye swabbies! Anchors away! Yo ho!
The end.