The Circle Chp 1 Kida Remembers Josh

I looked around the shrink's room. I had been seeing Rose for the last month and a half or so. My parents had said that it was for my own good. I thought back to the conversation that had preceded my visits with Rose.

"Mom I don't need to see a shrink, I'm fine!" I had screamed at my mother.

Caren had sighed and shook her head at me, "Kida honey, you're not eating, you barely sleep. You're acting as if it's you who died. Josh is in a better place, he wouldn't want you walking around mourning him forever."

I rounded on her, "Don't talk about him like that!" After a week of this I had given up arguing. I hoped that it would be over after a couple of visits. Yet here I was about a month and a half later, three visits a week, still seeing Rose. Rose kept telling me that if I talked more about Josh and what his friendship had meant to me then I could begin healing and moving on. But I didn't want "to heal" for me "healing" meant remember all the times we'd had together and feel what it was like when he was alive, only to be reminded at the end of the session that he was dead. I didn't want to forget either, but numbing myself to the pain was the only thing I could think of. A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought about that night in the hospital.

But before the memory could take hold Rose walked in. She was maybe 5' tall, in heels, her black peppered hair was cut to about her chin. Rose was probably part Native American, though I wasn't sure of what tribe she would belong to. Rose's hazel eyes settled on me and she smiled as she took her seat across from me. "Good morning Kida," her annoying chipper voice cut through my thoughts. I nodded a greeting then began to twirl a piece of my shoulder length black hair. Rose sighed," I thought that maybe today we could talk about the day that you met Josh. See what you remember and go from there."

I glared at her and flipped the piece of hair behind me. I curled my long legs underneath me, I stood 6' 1" my legs made up most of my height. I closed my emerald green eyes and thought back. Opening them I looked at Rose, "You're not going to stop the visits till I talk, are you?" She shook her head, I sighed, "Alright then. I'll talk."

I was 5 years old and still learning that I was different from other people. It was my first day of school when I met Josh and the others, that was the day I found others like me. People with gifts that adults either thought were strange or just the imaginings of kids. But Josh had known that I was special, like him and his friends. Just by looking at me he had....

"Kida?" Rose's voice cut through my private thoughts. "I'm ready when you are."

"I'm ready Rose, just had to collect my thoughts," I give her a fake smile. Yeah like I'm going to tell you the whole truth. If I did you'd have me locked up forever. I sigh and close my eyes again, "I met Josh on my first day of school. I really do remember it like yesterday..."

I walk out onto the playground, back then I only stood 3' 5" my hair was raven black as it is now and goes to my waist as it does now. I don't have any friends, not even in my class. I notice a group of older kids playing basketball, I walk along the edge of the court, hoping that they'd invite me to join in. Suddenly a girl with blonde hair gets tripped up and the ball rolls to my feet. I pick it up and head over to them, the blonde notices me.

"Hold it squirt! No one said that you could touch my ball."

"Aww lay off Stormy, can't you tell it's her first day? She didn't know any better," one of the boys say. "Besides if you hadn't dropped it she wouldn't have touched it."

"I don't care if it's her last day, I'm gonna teach her a lesson," Stormy heads my way. I stand there not knowing what to do. I don't know anything about the girl heading my direction, but I knew for sure that I was about to encounter my very first bully.

"Hold it Stormy!" a voice came from behind me, turning around I see and older girl with flaming red hair. Judging by her appearance I'd guess that she's in the 2nd grade.

"Back off Kera, she's on my court. You got no say in this," Stormy glares at Kera as she walks closer to me.

Kera smiles at Stormy, "I might not but Josh says she's not to be hurt. Now do you want to explain to Josh why it is I couldn't bring to him unharmed? Let's not forget what happened last time you didn't follow our and advice and beat up one of ours." Kera took the ball from and threw it at Stormy, she takes my hand a leads me to the jungle gym. "Josh I got her unharmed," Kera said as she reached the slide. A boy steps out from behind the shadows smiling.

"Good job Kera, go ahead and bring her in, if she can enter." He goes back behind the slide.

Kera steps in front of slide, "What's your name?" I looked at her puzzled and she sighed, "It's so you can get in. The Circle would like to know the name of the person entering their realm."

"Kidarina Elenor Cora Letourneau," I say with pride. Kera looks at me with admiration and astonishment.

"Right, how about we shorten that down to Kida? Does your momma call you Kida," Kera ask, I nod. "Ok Kida lets head in." Kera turns to the slide and raises her hands and says, "Kera, Priestess of Tuatha and Kida, Newcomer to Tuatha's Realm ask permission to enter the Circle." At first nothing happens but then I feel something seeking entrance to my mind. It doesn't push, just brushes waiting to be let in. I drop my barriers. The presence is in my mind for a minute and then it's gone.

"Kera, Priestess of Tuatha and Kida Newcomer to Tuatha are granted permission into the Circle. Proceed and behold the beauty of Tuatha," a woman's voice says in my head and aloud. Kera grabs my hand and leads me to the slide, I pull back before we reach the slide. "Nothing will hurt you my child." Kera smiles at me and beckons me forward. "You can trust them." I nod and reluctantly step forward. As I pass under the slide I notice a difference. I knew that I was still at the school, but at the same time I wasn't. The boy named Josh steps forward and offers his hand. I hesitate for a second, and then he smiles at me. All of my reluctance disappears, I take the offered hand and follow Josh to a circle of 10 other kids all varying in age, Josh and Kera make the group 12. They all smile at me as Josh guides me to a spot next to Kera who is already sitting.

Josh sits on my left hand side and greets the group, "Welcome to the Circle of the Children of Tuatha, all. Today is a special day, for us all. The 13th member of the Circle has arrived." The others burst into cheers and applause. Josh looks at me and smiles, "That is of course if she accepts."

I look around at the others, they all look so happy to have me here. Without a second thought I nod and say, "Yes I accept you and would be honored to be the 13th member." Before I know what's going on I'm in the middle of a group hug...

"Kida," Rose brings me back to the present. "I hate to interrupt you dear but it's time to go." I blink against the light of the room. At first I'm confused, but then I remember that Josh is dead and that I'm in my shrink's office, discussing the first day that I met Josh. Rose smiles at me from across the room, and then she stands up and crosses the room and sits next to me. "You made a lot of progress today. This is the first time you've talked about Josh for the whole session and didn't break down crying." She offers me her hand as she stands, I take her offered hand and stand. We go to the door, "Well dear I'll see you on Wednesday. Take care of yourself until then." The door closes behind me as I walk to meet my parents. My first thoughts are that I need to talk to Aceano so that she can tell me exactly what I told Rose. If I told her too much I can fix it so that it seems like I was remembering a child's game and not being accepted into a Wicca Circle. It will also help with later sessions so that I will remember exactly what happened but Rose will hear something slightly different.