Ashley and Josh

“Josh? I need to talk to you. Can you stop by before the concert? Yeah I’m at grandma’s house. Thanks.” Ashley closed her cell phone and walked into the bathroom in her grandma’s farmhouse. She knew the house better than her fathers. She had lived here for almost six years, ever since her fourteenth birthday when her father had struck her for the last time. His mother had walked in on it and insisted on taking Ashley home with her. Since then she’d only seen her father twice; once at her uncles funeral and then again at her high school graduation.
         She sat on the edge of the old claw-legged bathtub and let out the tears she had been holding in. She slid down the side of the tub until she was sitting on the floor and clutched her head in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably. Her whole body shook as she tried to stop the tears from flowing but it was no good. After some time had passed she managed to stop crying and look at her phone to check the time. It was 7:08 pm. That meant she had at least half an hour before Josh got to the house. She decided to talk a walk around the property to calm her nerves. At the back of the lawn, where it backed into the forest was a small garden Ashley had planted the summer after she moved in. She went to it now and sat amongst the flowers, uncaring of the fact that her white dress was now covered in mud. She started singing, her voice carrying on the wind but not loud enough for her neighbours to hear. As she sang she prayed, prayed that everything would be okay. Prayed to a God that she didn’t really believe in but hoped was real. When she finished her song she sat listening to the sounds of nature. In the distance she could hear the rumble of thunder and knew that her garden would be well watered by the morning. In the distance she could hear a car driving down the gravel road and knew it must be Josh; there wasn’t much traffic around here. She stood up and walked back to the house, stopping on the front porch and sitting on the swinging chair. From here she could see as soon as the car turned the corner and sure enough it was Josh. She waited for him, her hands folded in her lap, as he got out of his pick-up.
         “Hey babe! There’s my beautiful little hawk.” He smiled as he came up to her, his perfect teeth contrasting his tanned skin. He was well built, like any farmboy and had on his usual attire of jeans and a plain black t-shirt. His hair, normally messy and in his face, was nicely combed today though there was still one stray strand that hung across his eyes. Ashley was happy to see him and smiled at her pet name. He called her hawk because of her dark eyes that seemed to pierce through anything and her hair that he claimed was the same golden colour as the hawks around the farm. Without warning, her eyes once again filled with tears and she bit her lip to keep them from falling. At once, Josh was sitting beside her.
         “Hey. Ash, babe, what’s wrong?” He asked concerned. It wasn’t like Ashley to cry and now that he was closer he could tell it wasn’t the first time that day that she had. “Ash, honey talk to me. What happened?” She shook her head, unable to speak as she fought the tears. She didn’t want to cry. In fact, now that he was here she wished she had never called him. He was supposed to go to a concert tonight and he had been so excited. Now that he was here with her she knew he wouldn’t leave her.
         “Josh, I’m so sorry. Y-you shouldn’t be here. Go t-to you concert.” She managed to choke it out without crying but it wasn’t enough for Josh
         “You know I’m not gonna leave you like this Ash. You’re crying. Please tell me what s wrong.” She just shook her head again but the tears broke through and she started shaking. Josh grabbed her and put his arms around her, holding her as tight as he could without hurting her, murmuring reassurances and begging her to tell him what was wrong. They sat like that for nearly fifteen minutes until her crying started to slow and she pushed herself away from him. Her eyes were puffy and red and she had tear marks all down her face but when he looked at her she could tell he still thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. She closed her eyes for a minute and thought back to the time when they had first met. It was right after she had moved to her grandma’s house and he had come over to help with some yard work. At the time he was just about to turn sixteen and was trying to earn money to buy a truck. He came over a lot to help as Ashley’s grandmother was old and not able to take proper care of the lawn. Josh had helped Ashley plant the garden in the back and taught her how to take proper care of it. They became good friends easily and stayed that way for a long time. Josh was the oldest of seven kids and helped on the farm to support them so he didn’t go to school like Ashley did but once he got his truck he drove her everyday. He was her best friend and the only one who knew how she had come to live with her grandma. He spent most of his spare time at her house and she taught him some of the things she learned in school. The day of her graduation he came over, the first and only time she had seen him in a suit. He brought her a bouquet of yellow roses, her favourite flower, and drove her to the school. When they got there he parked but didn’t get out of the car. He turned to look at her and she was suddenly nervous.
“Ash. Umm. Look, I know that this is really bad timing and all, and I promised myself I’d wait until after your graduation and all but.. well, I can’t wait anymore. I’ve been waiting for too long already. Ash.. I-I really like you. I have for a long time but I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by doing something stupid like dating you. But- well, I have to try. I can’t not take the chance. You’re going to be a college girl next year and there will be so many new guys and new friends. It scares me” By the time he had said the last sentence his voice had dulled to a whisper and she could tell that he really meant it. She had known lately that his looks had been something other than just friendly and she’d noticed that he always seemed to tense up when she talked about boys but she hadn’t expected this. There was silence in the truck as she thought about it. She thought about all the fun they had together and all the times he had been there for her. She trusted him more than anyone in the world and she knew that he could always make her laugh. As she looked at him now she allowed herself to see him for the first time as a boy and not a friend. She was surprised by how good looking he was when viewed that way but she still wasn’t sure she wanted him to be her boyfriend. But then he had looked at her, his blue eyes begging her for a chance and she had known that this was right. From that day on they had been a couple. It was now over two years later and they were still going strong.
         She opened her eyes and looked at him again. He was still as gorgeous as he had been on that night and the look in his eyes again told her that things would be okay.
         “Josh, umm. Look, this is h-hard so umm, bear with me. I du-dunno if I can get it all out.” She took a deep breath as he nodded though his look had changed to one of alarm. She wanted to reassure him that there was nothing to be afraid of but that would have been a lie. She reached up to touch his face, wanting him to not look so scared. He leaned down and kissed her where her tears were still rolling down her cheeks then on her mouth. He held the kiss for one long minute then shifted his arms so he could hold her hands.
         “Just try, baby. I’ll wait until you finish.” He smiled at her.
         “Josh. I-I..” She started crying again and tried to choke her words out through the tears. It was obvious by the look on his face that he hadn’t understood them. She signalled for him to wait and pulled herself up, stumbling into the bathroom again. She found what she was looking for and after catching her breath made her way back to the porch. She handed it to him and whispered her last sentence.
         “I’m pregnant Josh.” His face whitened and his jaw dropped as he took the positive pregnancy test from her shaking hands. She sat beside him for a few moments in silence, still crying. For the first time since she had known him he didn’t try to comfort her. He just sat staring at the test in his hands. Finally he swallowed and spoke.
         “Are you sure? I mean, these things aren’t always right, right? Maybe you did it wrong. Or maybe it’s defective or something.” She shook her head.
         “I tried three different ones. They all say the same thing. I’m definitely pregnant.”
         “How? I mean, how is that possible! You’re on birth control, aren’t you? I don’t understand.” He looked at her, his eyes pleading for an explanation.
         “I-I missed one. A pill I mean. Last month. But I-I didn’t think- I never thought it make a difference! I’m so sorry Josh, I should have told you I should have said something but I-I didn’t think it would matter.” She was crying again, her arms wrapped around her body, head down, eyes closed. She couldn’t look at him like this. She was so scared of what would happen. Her grandmother was very religious and would never allow her to have an abortion. She had enough money to support a child and she felt ready for one. She was worried about Josh though. They had talked about it before, about having children and he had said maybe someday but she knew he wasn’t ready yet. Finally she felt him move beside her and felt his arms wrap around her. He held her like that, still in silence until the grandfather clock in the house chimed 9:00 pm. He released her then and moved her hands away from her face, lifting it up towards him and kissed her. There was still fear in his eyes but now it was joined by something else, almost determination. He lifted her to her feet and knelt down on one knee.
         “Ashley, I love you. I have loved you for as long as I can remember knowing you. I’m not going to leave you now. Not ever. I want you to have this baby and I want us to be a family. I was going to take you out to dinner and do this properly but I might as well do it now.” He told her to stay where she was and ran to his truck. He returned a minute later holding a small box in his hands. Once again he knelt down and grabbed her left hand.
         “Ashley Donahue, I wanted to do this the way you always dreamed. I wanted to take you out to a fancy restaurant and a walk on the beach afterwards like you always told me you wanted. I wanted to ask your grandmother’s permission first because I know it means a lot to you. But I could never find the exact perfect time. So I’ll do it now instead. Ashley, I love you now and forever and I love this baby because it is part of you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?” He opened the box in his hand and held up a ring. Ashley was stunned. She had thought that today was going to be the worst day of her life but Josh was giving her an opportunity to make it the best. She hadn’t thought that it was possible to cry anymore that night but as she stared into his eyes and knew that their time together was only just beginning she realized that she was crying again, tears of joy for the first time that night. She laughed, realizing that he was still waiting for an answer.
         “Of course. Of course I’ll marry you! Oh Josh this is perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better proposal. The only thing that matters is that its you holding my hand.” He held up the ring, a pretty gold band with a single sapphire on it. Sapphire was her favourite stone because it had been her mother’s birthstone and she had inherited all of her mother’s sapphire jewellery. He slipped it onto her finger and stood up, grabbing her around the waist and swinging her into the air before she had a chance to react. He kissed her again, more passionately than he had before and held her there for a long time. When he finally released her they sat down on the steps together and talked for hours, planning their future together. Ashley ended up falling asleep in his arms and it wasn’t until 8:15 the next morning when she heard her grandmother’s car pull in the driveway that she even realized how late it had been. Josh was curled up beside her, suit jacket thrown off to the side, hair now ruffled like she was used to. She moved to get up and realized that he was still clutching her left hand in his. Content to stay in his arms she snuggled up to him and felt his shift to accompany her movements, his left arm draping protectively over her stomach. She knew her grandma would ask questions but she wasn’t ready yet with the answers. Instead, she watched her fiancée sleep and imagined herself as Mrs. Joshua Peyton until she once again was lulled to sleep.