Acquiring a Conscience

On my 30th day without alcohol, I had a run in with a traffic warden. Not an unusual occurence for me. But this one was different...

I have always had the attitude that because I pay my road tax I can park wherever I want. If I get a ticket, so what. I pay the fine and play the odds that I probably won't get another ticket for nearly a year. So in effect, I can pay 30 each year to park wherever I want all the time.

That always sounded perfectly fair to me, but I have never considered myself arrogant you understand... I was so self-deluded before knowing I was alcoholic!

When I joined Alcoholics Anonymous, I began to feel a bit challenged about my self-awarded parking entitlements. I don't quite understand why, because it is still most inconvenient! In my first week of AA membership, I parked illegally twice. And got two tickets. (Note to self - still have to pay those...) That particular day, I drove around the streets near the meeting for 15 minutes and could not find a (legal) parking space. Usually I would swear and work myself up into a state of major road rage. But that didn't happen. The thought was there as ever, but I did not act on it. What I did next is NOT a recommended course of action. But its done now! Instead of being 10 minutes early for the meeting, I was now 7 or 8 minutes late. And still trying to park. As I drove past a perfect (illegal) parking spot, I slowed down and considered my options. I prayed for God to grace me not to get a ticket, but told him that if I did get a ticket I would accept it graciously and not stalk the traffic warden to his death. And so I parked. Illegally. Again.

After my meeting, I hot footed it back to the car, and as I came round the corner of where I had parked I saw the by now very familiar red and black jacket strolling towards my car. Great. Now, at this point I would usually be braced for a big argument, and would shout "Hey" at the traffic warden as if he was a car thief. But I had made my deal with God and knew if I got a ticket it was because I deserved it and not because the traffic warden was out to get me. He's just a guy doing a job. So, I kept my pace and arrived at my car just as he did. "Hi there" - that was me. To a TRAFFIC WARDEN! "Tell me I got here before you did" - but my tone was not at all aggressive or annoyed. I swear! The warden told me I had got there just in time and told me to go on my way. I couldn't believe it!

Now I must emphasise at this point that I am not advocating illegal parking (any more) and I am not suggesting God, however you understand him, will let you get away with doing whatever you want if you try to bargain with him. But I do think that God in his grace threw me a bone that day. He saw I was genuine, that I knew I was doing something wrong and was prepared to take the rap for it if it came to it rather than - as usual - bitch, moan, curse, and try to talk or argue my way out of it. Suffice to say, I decided to make sure I leave 15 minutes earlier for that meeting from then on so I can park at a nearby hospital multi storey and walk the rest of the way. I may be fairly new at this sobriety and Higher Power stuff, but even I know when not to push my luck!