His & Hers

Her Story

I was sitting in the living room of the house I shared with a few other college students. My best friend, who is one of the tenants along with her boyfriend, was sitting on the recliner chair, her back to the kitchen, and I was sitting on the coffee table in the center of the high-ceilinged room.

“Damn, that last final I had was a bitch,” my friend said.

“Hell yeah. My calculus final literally fried my brain,” I responded.

“Oh, come on. You’re like good at every subject. I bet you passed it with flying colors,” she replied.

“Ok, well. I think…I might’ve aced it,” I said smiling, proudly.

“Haha, see. Told you.”

That’s when I heard keys jingle at the front door. Not too long after, he entered and I almost immediately felt the effect he had on me every time I saw him. My heart wasn’t beating as hard as it normally did, but give it time, and it’ll almost want to leap out of my chest. My hands were stable, for the moment, but I knew they’d be shaking like crazy if he stayed any longer.

“Hey!” said my friend, cheerily.

“Hey, what are you girls gossiping about? Not me, I hope,” he said, coming over to our little meeting area.

Damn, keep it together, girl, keep it together.

“We were just talking about those stupid finals. Seriously, what’s the point of them? As if we college students aren’t tortured enough during the semester, finals just seem like a last-ditch effort to kill us before we leave,” I managed to say, I don’t know how. I usually kept a cheery demeanor so as to conceal any feelings I had for him. I’m sure he knew anyway…everyone in the house knew.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” he said, letting out a small chuckle, “So, how do you think you did?”

“Horrible!” chimed in my friend.

“Well, I don’t want to lie to you, but I think I aced my calculus final,” I replied, giving a small wink.

I tried to play it cool. I tried to hide my anxiousness that was screaming on the inside. I could see my friend from the corner of my eye. She was just watching our dialogue fly back and forth like a tennis ball during Wimbledon.

“Wow, that’s awesome.”

“I know! Aren’t you proud of me?” I asked, giving a childish smile.

“Of course,” he merely said, smiling as well.

“What? That’s it?” I teased, although I secretly did want to hear more from him. He laughed.

Then he stepped closer. Oh, crap.

My heart seemed to skip a beat before it began pounding in my chest. He stepped again. I found it hard to look him in the eye at this point. I darted my head towards the ground, trying to conceal my reddening face. Through the corner of my eye, I saw him slowly bending his 6’1” tall frame towards me. Whatever nervousness I tried to conceal was quickly making its way to the surface as everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.

That’s when I felt his soft lips make contact with my forehead. My eyes widened upon feeling his gentle kiss and I looked up at him, our gazes meeting.

“I’m always proud of you,” he said in a low voice, almost a whisper as if it were a secret between the two of us. All the while he was flashing that gorgeous smile of his. The smile that makes me melt every time I see it; the smile that makes me weak in the knees. Had I been standing, I would’ve collapsed at this moment. My face felt like it was on fire and at any moment the heat radiating from it could light the fireplace behind him.

He slowly made his way back to a standing position, his hands clasped behind his back.

“Well, see you guys later,” he said, cheerily, as if nothing had just happened.

What was he thinking? How could be so nonchalant? Is he toying with me? He’s not that type of guy…at least I had never thought so.

“Holy crap,” said my friend after he exited the room. Yeah, holy crap. “Does he like you?” she asked.

Oh, how I wish he did. How I wish he reciprocated the feelings I’ve had for him for three years. Ever since we all moved into this house freshmen year, I almost immediately fell for him.

“I doubt it,” I said. Even though I didn’t know what his intentions of doing that were, but I couldn’t help smiling. I knew my face had to be as red as a tomato right now. I put my hands to my still burning face. This was the feeling I had every time I came in contact with him. This terrible, yet sensational feeling. How I came to feel this strongly about him was a mystery, but I loved and hated it at the same time.


For the rest of the day, I was smiling like an idiot. That small interaction I had with him earlier made me giddy every time I thought about it…which was every second since it happened. I tried to vacate my mind of the scene, but I really didn’t want to. Even though it was hindering everything I was trying to do, it was the greatest thing that could’ve happened to me.

I turned on my computer and logged into my instant messenger. Maybe chatting would help me clear my mind and relieve my anxiety. My hands still felt shaky, and my heart was still beating faster than normal.

Not too long after I had signed in, I saw his screen name pop up on my buddy list. Should I talk to him? Ask him about what happened? I hadn’t talked to him since then and it’s been well over ten hours. He just locked himself in his room and asked that no one disturb him. Of course, I complied with his wish.

After debating in my head for a few seconds, I decided to click on his screen name. It was silly that we lived in the same house, yet I still had to talk to him through the computer. He couldn’t see my awkwardness through the computer screen, so that’s one thing I liked about this form of communication.

Right when I was about to type a “hey” into the instant messaging window, the program notified me that he had signed off. Damn, I missed my chance. I wonder what he’s up to anyway.

Then, I heard his door down the hallway open and close. I knew it was his door because his was the only one that squeaked when it opened. I heard heavy steps walk towards my door. Of course it would seem like he’s coming towards my room. It was the first one of the hallway so everyone had to pass it to get to the stairs.

I don’t know if I imagined it, or if it really happened, but it seemed as if his steps came to a halt right in front of my closed door. Not even two seconds later, I heard the steps continue their way and descend the stairs.

I walked out of the room to see if I could catch any sign of him, just as I did so, my friend came out of the bathroom and into the hallway.

“Hey, where did he go?” I asked.

“Dunno, he didn’t say anything. He just left. Seems like he was trying to avoid everyone, too,” she replied.

“Oh, ok,” I said a little dejected.

I reentered my bedroom. Avoid? Who was he trying to avoid? Me? Why?

Insecure thoughts raided my mind as they always had when I thought I did something wrong. I hated feeling stupid, and the fact that he was trying to avoid me made that feeling manifest at this moment. I tried to find something to get my mind off of my paranoia.

I couldn’t sleep at all. I tried, but I just resulted in lying in my bed, staring through the darkness. A slight hum was emanating from the computer on my desk.

That’s when I heard the heavy steps pass by my door again. I wonder where he had gone. It was two o’clock in the morning and he almost never stays out that late. I heard the familiar squeak of his door as it opened and closed.

I need to talk to him. I need to see him. As much as I dreaded how I became when I was in his presence…I needed to have that feeling again; that feeling of euphoria and despair. I longed for it now more than ever and I have no idea why.

I tossed and turned in my bed. Five minutes passed. Fifteen minutes passed. The clock just kept ticking away and with every fleeting second, my heart was increasingly yearning for him. Desiring to see him…to hear his voice…even if it’s just him saying “Sorry, I don’t want to be bothered right now.”

I threw the covers off and darted to my door. I hesitated before finally opening it and made my way down the hallway. His room was just two doors down, my friend in between us, but it felt like an eternity as I slowly tiptoed towards his infamous squeaky door. I could still see the light creep from underneath the crack at the bottom, spilling onto the carpet. He was still awake. My stupid heart began pounding the insides of my chest as if it were the only thing occupying it...

I gently knocked on the door. I heard nothing. I knocked again. Nothing. I tested the door handle. It turned perfectly, unhindered by any lock. I knew I should’ve stopped myself, but somehow through all of my inner debating, I found myself inside the room.

Just then, he came out of his bathroom, wearing black sweatpants and no shirt. He had a towel draped around his neck.

“Oh, sorry,” I said quickly deterring my glance towards an interesting piece of yarn on the floor.

Stare at the yarn, stare at the yarn!

I turned to leave, but when I placed my hand on the door knob, I heard him call my name. I stopped.

“You don’t like what you see?” he said. I didn’t respond. “Come on, it’s ok.”

Even though I couldn’t see him, I just knew he was smiling…chuckling to himself about my awkwardness. That confidence of his was another thing that attracted me. It contrasted my own insecurities.

“I-I’ll come back later,” I stuttered.

“Wait,” he said.

But that’s all he said. There was no command following, or any other form of a sentence, even the fragment of one. I felt the quivering of my limbs reawaken as they always had in his presence. My heart made sure I knew of its existence by pounding harder and harder. So hard, I could hear it in my ears.

I don’t know why, but I just felt like leaving. He wasn’t saying anything else, and the awkward silence made my emotions swirl and tumble faster than they ever had before. I reached for the doorknob again.

“Don’t go,” I heard him say. “Can you…stay for sec?”

I didn’t budge. I heard him call my name, but I didn’t turn around or even respond.

“Come over here,” I heard him say.

Again I didn’t react. After a few more seconds of silence, I heard him say my full name. Never in the history of us living together in this house, had I ever heard my full name be uttered from his mouth. Actually, no one ever called me by my full name. I was always introduced by my shortened name and people just picked up on that afterwards.

He repeated my name again. I hadn’t realized how much I loved hearing him say it even if the first time was tonight. It was just another thing to make me panic in front of him. It caused my knees to knock against each other. The only thing that was stabilizing me was my grip on the doorknob. I held it so as not to collapse to the floor.

He said my name again. I managed to slowly turn towards him, still keeping my gaze on the tan carpet. Through the corner of my eye, I saw his hair was in disarray, seeming as if he had just run a towel through it, yet it was still damp as small beads of water would occasionally drip and land on his body that glistened with that just-after-a-shower glow. I swear he was more attractive now than anytime I had ever seen him. Even when he’s dressed in clothes that perfectly conform to his body, it didn’t compare to how it was right now…and I felt like I wanted him more than ever.

He came closer…closer…that’s when my knees finally gave out. They were no longer strong enough to sustain my body and I felt myself crashing towards the floor.

That’s when I felt his strong arms around my waist. The inevitable crash never happened as I remained in a standing position, only now I was wrapped in his embrace. His naked upper body only inches away, now. I felt the heat emanating between our bodies. I don’t know if I can handle this close proximity. Being so close to his perfectly chiseled chest…his tightly formed abs…

He showed no signs of letting go, and I showed no signs of wanting him to. I felt his hand slowly release its grip from around my back and make its way towards my face. His soft, gentle touch caressed my cheek. His fingers cupped my chin and I felt him put a little pressure to force my head to look towards him. I resisted for no logical reason. He let out a small, breathy chuckle and aimed to do it again. I complied the second time; our eyes locked, none of us even thinking. I was lost in his brown eyes.

I saw his head slowly jerk towards me, but then he slinked back. After a quick thought, he slowly moved towards me again, closing the gap between us. Our lips were inches away from each other, and I could feel his warm breath. I closed my eyes tightly, anticipating his next move.

Then I felt those soft lips again…but now they were pressed against mine. After a brief moment, he pulled away and looked at me; his expression almost as if he was ashamed. I smiled. His eyebrows gradually released as the crease between them slowly dissolved and I could see the anxiety disappear from his expression.

He put his arms around my back again and pulled me closer to him. I clasped my hands around the backside of his neck and slightly rose on my toes to get closer to his lips. Hesitating for a moment, I looked him in the eyes. We both smiled. Then, I initiated the next kiss.


After, we were both lying on his bed. I’m not sure how we made it there, but we did. Nothing further than kissing occurred, but that moment was more than perfect…it was magical in every way fulfilling any fantasy I ever had during the past three years. Just lying next to him with our fingers laced with one hand, my head resting on his other arm, and our legs haphazardly intertwined with each other…that was the picture perfect moment I had been waiting for…yearning for…and now that it has come, I wouldn’t change a thing.

“Were you avoiding me after that thing you did earlier today?” I asked, breaking the peaceful silence between us.

“Honestly?” I nodded. “Kind of.”

“How come?”

I propped myself on my elbow and looked down at him. I wasn’t drilling him, however. I was just curious as to why he did that.

As I looked at him, I noticed that he hadn’t even bothered to put a shirt on, not that I minded, anyway. I took my hand and began running my fingers down the middle of his smooth chest. When I made it down to his abs, he held my hand in place.

“I didn’t want you to know how I felt.” This statement caught my attention as I diverted my eyes from his shirtless body to his serious-expression face.

“But you still kissed me.”

He looked away.

“I couldn’t hold back anymore.”

“Everyone knew for the past three years, and I’m more than positive that you knew too, that I was crazy about you. What made you so apprehensive?”

He said my full name again. Oh, how that made a sensational feeling dart to all parts of my body.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Why would you hurt me?”

“You’re just this…perfect girl that deserves ten times better than me…one hundred times better…I’m afraid I can’t live up to your expectations.”

“You’re everything I ever wanted and you won’t disappoint me. I’ll make sure of that.” I playfully winked and he flashed his heart-melting smile as he pulled me towards him.
---------------------------------


His Story

I had just finished the last of my college finals and I was finally free to go home. I lived in a house with my best guy friend and his girl, as well as her best friend. I walked up to the front door, and I could hear chatter beyond it, but wasn’t able to distinguish who was doing the talking.

Within inches of the door, I was able to distinctly hear the voice of my best friend’s girlfriend…and then I heard her voice. I froze in my steps. My heart started to beat rapidly. She’s home.

What should I do? I can’t stay outside. I’ll freeze my ass off. I decided just to face the inevitable and enter the house. I found it hard to hold my keys in my shaking hands as the clanking of metal gave off a jingling sound. I walked inside, and there she was sitting on the coffee table.

Keep it together, man, just keep it together.

I quickly darted my eyes towards the other girl, however, so as not to seem completely cold and ignore both of them.

“Hey, what are you girls gossiping about? Not me, I hope,” I said, smiling and trying to play off my jittery nerves.

She looked so cute sitting there, but she wasn’t looking at me. I guess that’s a good thing, because I don’t know what I would do if we made eye contact right now.

“We were just talking about those stupid finals. Seriously, what’s the point of them? As if we college students aren’t tortured enough during the semester, finals just seem like a last-ditch effort to kill us before we leave,” she said.

She always had this cheery attitude that put me at ease no matter how much stress I had piled up. It was probably one of the reasons I was so attracted to her.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” I said, letting out a nervous chuckle, “So, how do you think you did?” I seriously fail at making small talk with her, and lately it’s gotten worse. I still tried to maintain a calm and cool demeanor, though.

“Horrible!” said her friend. I quickly diverted my eyes from her to her friend, then back to her. I couldn’t help just looking at her…observing her every move.

“Well, I don’t want to lie to you, but I think I aced my calculus final,” she replied, giving a small wink. She was so cute when she winked it just made my heart melt. I’m not even sure she was aware of its effect on me.

“Wow, that’s awesome,” I managed to say with a smile on my face.

“I know! Aren’t you proud of me?” she asked, with this innocent sort of childish smile smeared across her face. I swear I could just hug her right now.

“Of course,” I said. I wanted to be short on words so I could leave and control these hormones raging inside of me.

“What? That’s it?” she replied, seeming a little disappointed at my remark.

That was a dreadful feeling…having her feel disappointed. I wanted to make it up to her. I had to make it up to her. She was looking up at me with those big, puppy dog eyes of hers.

I suddenly felt my foot move forward as if it had a mind of its own. My other leg proceeded to follow it as I got closer and closer to her. I’m not sure what came over me, but I bent down towards her. She looked away. Was I doing the right thing? It was too late to stop now. I ended up giving her a little peck on her forehead, but I knew I wanted to do more. I felt my face flush a little bit. Hopefully she didn’t notice.

“I’m always proud of you,” I whispered, and I really meant it.

She was one of the smartest girls I knew, and I couldn’t help but be honored to even share the same house with her. I found myself smiling.

I straightened out my standing position, and clasped my trembling hands behind my back, so as not to show her any sign of my nervousness.

“Well, see you guys later,” I said, pretending to be cheery and acting as if what I just did didn’t happen.

I quickly exited the room and darted upstairs. What the hell did I just do? I can’t believe I kissed her…in front of her gossipy friend, no less. God, I can't stand that friend of hers. All she does all damn day is talk, talk, talk…But I didn’t care what her friend did. I cared about her. I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable or awkward just because of me and doing that surely made it happen. I shouldn’t have done it. She deserves better than that, more than that.

I can’t let her know my real feelings. Ever since last year at the university’s yearly barbeque bash, I developed feelings for her. I saw her in a whole new light. I know she’s liked me for so much longer, and I feel stupid for not realizing how much I actually liked her in return. Since it’s been so long, I doubt she even feels the same way anymore. I took too long to reciprocate those feelings, and I wouldn’t put it past her to have moved on. It would be better if she had, though. I’m not the man she should have by her side.

I decided to lock myself in my room and avoid any contact with anyone in the house for the rest of the day. I figured a little nap would do me good, take my mind off things…off of her.

When I woke up a few hours later, I turned on my computer and my instant messenger immediately signed in. She was online. I hesitated clicking onto her screen name. No, I have to avoid her. She can’t know.

Grabbing my jacket and car keys and slipping on my shoes, I exited my bedroom. I needed to get out for a while. I walked down the hallway, and just before I passed her room, I stopped. I don’t know why I halted my steps, but I stood there in front of her room for a few seconds, contemplating whether I should knock on the door or not. I decided against it, and continued my way down the stairs.


I went over to my other good buddy’s house for a little bit. He was having a little kick-back party, so I figured it would help me unwind. People there were smoking and drinking, and having fun. I’m not the type of guy to be doing any of that, so I sat on the couch with my hands in my pockets, kind of afraid to touch anything. I chatted with a few people, that were obviously drunk, but it was funny to think that they had no idea what they were saying.

After a few hours, I ended up going back home. It was two o’clock in the morning, and I usually don’t come home that late anyway, but it seemed like a safe enough time that everyone in the house would be asleep. I wouldn’t have to deal with any explanations until the next day, and that seemed like a good prospect. I wasn’t ready to explain.

I entered the house and went upstairs to my room. I really need to get that squeak fixed. It’s starting to get annoying. I smelled like an ashtray, so I decided to take a quick shower before I went to bed. I don’t think I’d be able to sleep tonight, anyway.

For the most part, I just stood in the shower as the hot water rained over me, trying to clear my thoughts. When the entire bathroom was fogged up, about fifteen or twenty minutes later, I shut the water off, dried myself with a towel, and threw on some sweatpants. I quickly rubbed the towel through my hair as I walked outside of the bathroom.

That’s when I saw her. She was standing there, framed in my bedroom doorway. So she was still awake? What is she doing here? I didn’t know, but I know I didn’t want her to leave.

“Oh, sorry,” she said.

She darted her head towards the ground, seeming as if she were uncomfortable. She then turned to leave, but I found myself calling her name.

“You don’t like what you see?” I jokingly said, trying to ease her tension. She didn’t respond. “Come on, it’s ok.”

I don’t know what came over me, but I just felt like I had to say these things in order to get her to stay. I wanted to uphold a confident aura so maybe her uneasiness could subside.

“I-I’ll come back later,” she stammered.

“Wait,” I called to her.

I don’t know why. I had nothing to say to her, or anything I wanted to reveal at this moment.

Say something!

A few silently awkward seconds passed as she reached for the doorknob again.

“Don’t go,” I managed to say. “Can you…stay for a sec?”

It might’ve been too much of a demand, but I wished she accepted my plea. There was nothing more I wanted to do but hold her right now. She stood there seeming fragile and innocent, and I wanted her to stay that way forever.

“Come over here,” I said, probably because my own feet seemed glued to the floor.

My body felt so heavy that I found it hard to move. She didn’t budge. Was she afraid? Did she not share the same feelings I have for her anymore? I called her name, but she didn’t respond. Then, I said her full name. I had never called her that, but I just felt I had to at this moment.

I saw a reaction from her, but I couldn’t determine its meaning. I called her name again and she turned towards me.

I wanted to protect her from all the evil in the world. Keep her warm from the coldness of the night. Be her light so she’s not lost in the darkness. I wanted to care for her and be with her forever…and what’s more…I felt that I wanted her now more than ever.

I stepped closer. She showed no sign of leaving, and she didn’t even move from her spot by the door. I moved a little closer. That’s when I saw her legs give out from under her. I rushed to catch her in order to prevent her from falling. I wrapped her delicate frame in my arms as if protecting a priceless fabriche egg from breaking.

When I felt she was able to stand on her own, I released my hand and brought it to her cheek, gently caressing her, soothing her fears. She refrained from looking at me again. Did I do something wrong? I wanted to see her glistening brown eyes. I needed to see her emotions through her gaze. I placed my fingers under her chin, and ever so gently, tried to turn her face towards me. She resisted at first, and I laughed. She seemed so shy at this moment and it was adorable.

I thought I was prepared to face her…to tell her everything was all right and I was there for her. I thought I was going to confess all my feelings at once, but when her eyes locked with mine, my mind went blank. And the only thing I wanted to do at that moment…was kiss her.

My head moved towards her, but I yanked back, not knowing why. I guess I just wanted to test her reaction. When she showed no sign of backing away, I moved towards her again. I felt my heart beating fast, and the heat in my body rising. Her lips just seemed so vulnerable as I moved closer to her, our faces within inches of each other.

Then, I gathered all of my courage and finally connected my lips with hers. They were so soft, so warm…everything I had imagined and more. Something came over me. I quickly drew back and observed the expression on her face. I was worried that this isn’t what she wanted, and she was too shocked to respond, but when I looked at her, she smiled. Her smile sent electricity through my body.

I smiled back and placed my arms around her, bringing her closer to me and she put her hands around the back of my neck. I felt a jitter go down my spin, but it was a good sensation. It felt so right and so meant to be. She raised herself on her toes and she came tall enough to just reach the bottom of my chin. Then, without even saying anything, she kissed me back. It was the best feeling I’ve ever experienced.


Later, we somehow made it to the bed, but nothing further happened. Not that I cared…I was just ecstatic that she still felt the same way and I wasn’t too late to have her heart. She had her head rested on my extended arm as our hands were intertwined with our legs connected in a random fashion. I loved the feeling of her fingers in between mine. I loved the closeness of our bodies at this moment. I wish we could stay like this forever. Then, she spoke.

“Were you avoiding me after that thing you did earlier today?”

I knew this would be brought up eventually, and it’s not like I was dreading it. I knew she wanted to know.

“Honestly?” There was really no sense in not being honest. She nodded. “Kind of,” I said.

“How come?”

She propped herself up, breaking the linkage between our hands, and looked at me. It didn’t seem like she was angry or perturbed in any way. It just seemed like she genuinely wanted to know.

Then, she began walking her fingers down my exposed chest. It tickled a little bit, but it felt nice having her feel comfortable enough to do so. I grabbed her hand just to hold it again and feel her warmth.

“I didn’t want you to know how I felt.”

It was the complete truth. If I had told her, I probably would have only been rejected…it had been three years since she liked me and I had no idea she still felt the same way.

“But you still kissed me.”

I looked away. I couldn’t resist it at the time. Seeing her look up and smile at me the way she did, and her bright, cheery eyes…oh God those big, round eyes, only made me desire to kiss her. I was surprised I was able to keep my composure at all during those brief minutes we talked.

“I couldn’t hold back anymore.” I really couldn’t. I felt like I was going to explode.

“Everyone knew for the past three years, and I’m more than positive that you knew too, that I was crazy about you. What made you so apprehensive?”

I said her name again. It felt so natural coming from my mouth. Then I thought of the real reason why I never confessed before tonight.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Why would you hurt me?”

She seemed concerned. I think I’m making this worse than it sounds. I don’t know how else to say it.

“You’re just this…perfect girl that deserves ten times better than me…one hundred times better…I’m afraid I can’t live up to your expectations.”

“You’re everything I ever wanted and you won’t disappoint me. I’ll make sure of that.”

There she goes with that wink again! I crumble every time she does it and again I find her irresistible. There was nothing more I wanted to do but pull her closer to me and kiss her all over again…and that’s exactly what I did.