Feeling So Light

Feeling so light,
As if I could brush it away;
Brush myself away.
Dust nourishing these collapsed lungs,
Circulating down echoing chambers, all voids,
Drawn lifeless in to fragile veins;
Dancing alone, out of tune, down the dry labyrinth.
No beat.
Crawling and colliding back to the centre chest cavity,
Maybe a heart, maybe just the shadow,
Of maybe something that once hurt just to feel;
Nothing substantial, nothing nourishing,
And maybe this is better.
So much less pressure in my neck and brain,
No shape to the words life tries to tear from you,
I’ll never tell, I promised after all.
Nebulous lids, for once I truly am on the outside looking in,
Not just feeling this way.
Withdrawn beneath the black pupils,
Glasses through which to peer,
Like gazing up through dark water when you’re drowning;
The light on the other side suddenly so pure, vital
Suddenly more precious than anything you’ve ever known.
Then one second before your heart bursts,
And you know,
Nothing could ever be as beautiful as that glimmering hell,
Easier just to leave.
The kaleidoscope collapses inwards,
Cards dealt all wrong
And I lie crushed at the centre,
I always knew I’d die alone.