Jude and Tamar

Tamara wakes on this day, much like any other day. She stretches and sighs, looking around her lonely room. Sitting up and moving to the edge of her bed, she places her feet on the ground. Walking over to her vanity, she reaches in with both hands and splashes water into her face. Looking into the mirror she notices her red hair spiralling around her face, her cheeks flushed and rosy, her lips full and protruding. She looks as though her night was eventful. And she laughs at herself, "Only in my dreams!" She thinks inwardly. In the two years she has been married, every night has been spent alone, and not one has been eventful. Not other than the events in her dreams. Her dream-life, at least, is quite full and exciting. Perhaps to make up for the empty shell of a life her reality has become. And as though to inversely mimic the increasing monotony of her true life events, her dream-life has become ever more intense. What was once an infrequent fantasy, barely memorable once she woke, had become a consistant nightly vision of promise and clear happenstance. She could recite her dream moment by moment, and oftentimes did throughout her day. The only mystery left was his face.
Him. Her dream lover. The fantastically tall, strong, courageous, comforting gentleman who came to visit her every night. They walked together, she confides in him, and they love each other. She does not know where they are or who he is, but she knows he is hers and he loves her. And, oh, how she loves him!
With a deep sigh she turns away from the vanity mirror and asside to her armour. She dons the dress selected for her and exits her room.
As she slowly descends the staircase, today's planned events parade themselves before her, marching in her mind. She is to go with Lady Jesrel, her 'mother-in-law' to an at-home tea later this morning. Then they will ride through the park, making their appearance in the promanade. Afterwards, a luncheon for a local charity. Following the charity appearance they would return home for a nap and preparations for the ball. Whichever ball, that is, Lady Jesrel had decided to attend. Tamara's title of "daughter-in-law" was a widely known exaggeration. "Lap dog" would be a more applicable term, and behind her back, she new that is what the majority of the 'haut ton' labeled her as. And what was that to her? She has a roof over her head, meals to eat, decent clothes to wear. For a girl who came from nothing, she was determined to be grateful. Even if her so called 'husband' chose not to acknowledge her as such in their home. He very properly accompanied her, and his mother, to a ball most nights, and when at the ball made sure to start her evening with a dance. So what if they had been 'married' for two years and still had not consummated the union? Some men are late bloomers, she had overheard the maids saying. Maybe Conan was one. A late-bloomer. A very late-bloomer.
Tamara's mind turned this thought over and over, until she reached the bottom of the staircase. Just as she was about to step down to the first floor, she gasped and drew her foot back up as a young maid ran past. "What on earth...?" She thought. Looking up and shaking her thoughts back into her subconscious, she noted maids and grooms rushing every which way. "Now what could be happening?" Lady Jesrel oftimes sent the household servants into a tizzy, but this was moreso than usual. And besides, her Ladyship should not be home. It is Tuesday, and Tuesday morning she and Conan go on their mother-son ride early in the morning. Where to, she had no idea. She certainly had never been invited. And she was surely not nosy enough to inquire.
Suddenly, as if out of no where, Hirah, the head butler, appeared before her. Hirah was a strange man, but had always been very good to her. His face was completely solemn, and he held out his hand to Tamara. She took his hand and her question shown on her face, in her eyes.
"Come, my dear, to the study. Everything will be explained to you. Best to have a moment's privacy away from all of this maddening rush."
She nodded and followed, no nod of understanding, only of aquiesance.
As she entered the study, Hirah led her to the sofa in front of the far fireplace, away from the door and listening ears. Already sitting upon the couch was her father-in-law, Jude. Also an honorary namee. Conan was not his son, and Lady Jesrel no wife to him. He had been trapped by her long ago and stayed due to honor. She sat beside him, looking to him in her curiosity. He was watching the man pacing back and forth in front of the fire.
The pacing man, dressed in the severe black dress of a detective, turned and stopped once Tamara was settled. He cleared his throat and began, "It is my painful duty to inform you both of the deaths of your respective spouses."
Tamara heard and felt herself gasp and then stop breathing. Though how or why she did not know, for she could not possibly understand what the man was saying. Yet, still, she listened on. She vaguely had awareness of Jude beside her, absolutely still, as though his breathing had stopped as well.
The detective continued, "This morning while crossing the bridge over the river - the carriage in which Lady Jesrel and her son Conan, in some fluke accident, overturned, leaving the bridge and landing below, killing both passengers, the driver, and the horses. Though the horses suffered most, her Ladyship and son were almost certainly killed instantly. Most definately, they were completely through in their passing by the time authorities arrived. No hope for rescue, other than that offered by the undertaker..."
The still unnamed detective continued to prattle on about funeral arrangements and services to be held. Tamara heard nothing. Mindlessly her hand began to search something to grasp, someone to hold on to through this unbelievable ride. She found Jude, beside her, ever calm and collected, and clutched the hand he offered as he wrapped his arm around her. She buried her head in his shoulder and turned herself, practically landing in his lap, as she began to bawl.
At this the detective stopped his incessant monologue, as though he only now realized that he had given them shocking news of a double death. Again he cleared his throat, and mumbled excuses, saying he had to speak with some of the servants and would return to speak with them later in the day. She was hardly aware of Hirah showing him out of the study, and then the rolling sound of the large door locking as the two men exited the room. Thus leaving her alone with Jude, and sobbing. She did not care. She did not even know why she was crying. The shock, she supposed. She certainly had not loved her mother-in-law. The self-imposed gratitude could not have carried that far, no matter how she tried. And the loss of her 'husband' held no remorse for her, either. No, more likely relief. So maybe these tears running down her face and onto Jude were tears of joy, of freedom. She did not know, she only knew she could not stop herself, and did not want to. She knew it felt good to cry this time. Unlike all the lonely nights she cried because she felt so unloved, a 'married' woman, left untouched. But here, now, with a strong man's arm around her, rubbing her back, holding her close, she felt comforted, protected...loved.
Tamara settled her thighs around Jude's, placing herself firmly in his lap, burying her face between his neck and chest. He smelled good, such a man. And his shirt was so soft...and open. She could feel his skin. Her skirts were awkwardly trapping her feet, so she rucked them up to her waist, settling back down on his thighs. Such strong thighs. She could feel every part of him. What an unfamiliar feeling. Suddenly she realized he was wearing no more than a his bedchamber robe. They must have woke him from his sleep and called him down here. But he felt so good. It was wonderful. She liked it very much.
Tamara felt two arms wrap around her now, and she whimpered to catch her breath, so secure here in his embrace. She relaxed and let herself sit down completely on his lap, only to feel a sensation unlike any she had ever known! I moment's pain and then sweet glory!
She heard and felt Jude gasp, taking a sharp, shocked breath - and realize she did so in unison with him. All tears gone, her eyes flashed wide and looked up to his face, as he looked down to her, his hands on her hips, holding her in place for just a moment. She tried to lift herself up, then felt what happened, and put herself back down, moaning in spite of herself. She watched Jude's eyes go closed and his head lean back just a bit. Intrigued now, she moved herself up and back down again, now both of them moaning together.
She could only imagine what was happening, but at the moment, and consequences melted away and her mind only held onto the awesome feeling, the overwhelming sensation, the incredible pleasure! She nestled her face back into the angle of his neck, and began to rock up and down, allowing him to move her hips, finding a rythm together. Faster, now. Faster, still. More, and more. Again and again. Before she new it her moans turned to yelps, and finally screams. When she became too loud, he closed her mouth with his own, kissing her full, moving one hand from her hip to the back of her head, grasping a fist full of her wild auburn hair, kissing her relentlessly, as his other hand mastered the base of her spine, angling and guiding her riding of him. She could feel something building. She knew something was about to happen, only she could not think what. Without another thought she found herself falling down onto her back, into the plush luxery of the sofa, Jude never leaving their joined state, coming down on top of her. He began to ride her as she had him, pumping into her hard and strong, still trapping her lips with his to contain her screams of passion.
Farther, farther, and finally he rocked into her with such a thrust - and she knew what she had been waiting for had happened. Still not sure what that might be, she could feel a pulsing and erupting within her stomach. Tremors and aftershocks, like a flowing within her. She gasped for breath and held his head to her breast, instinctively for she had no knowledge of what she did, of what they had done, of what had happened here. All she was aware of was pleasure. Pure, beautiful, pleasure. And hope. The hope that this would happen again, and soon...


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Tamara wakes and sighs, feeling more satisfied than she can ever remember. She has had these re-accuring dreams for almost two years, yet never have they been so intense! And so clear! She can remember feeling and sensation like never before. Add to all this, suddenly, such increased detail! All this time her anonymous dream-lover has been a faceless mystery. Now, beyond her imagination, though apparently within it, she sees the countenance of her father-in-law, Jude. He is certainly an attractive enough man, and really not so much older than her as some would think, but to think she'd been dreaming of him this whole time, and only now finding out. She surprised herself. How would she look him in the eye after this? She would instantly remember his lucious lips, his strong arms, the incredible discovery of being entered in such a way...
She shook her heads, a vain attempt to clear her thoughts. Surely once her feet touched the floor her dream images would fade into the fog as they normally do. She would splash water in her face, dress herself in today's prescribed attire, and go down to breakfast. Another day, like so many other days, one step at a time. Just breathe, she told herself.
And then her eyes open. What..? Where is she? This is not her bed-chamber. Tamara sits up quickly, and looks around, finding herself in the study. She is on the sofa, in front of the fire-place, just like...Just like in her dream! How could this be? She feels her forehead, checking for fever. No, she feels fine, flushed perhaps, but not ill. Could she have sleep-walked? It had been so long since she found herself moved in such a way. Although, that might explain the intensity of the visions while she slept.
She was about to stand, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was all she could do not to scream, when she turned her head and saw Jude, she liked to have swooned instead.
"Jude!" She exclaimed, her breathing immediately shallow, her heart-rate racing. Without explanation or hesitance, he leaned in and kissed her lips, holding her cheek gently though with possession. She could not help herself but to kiss him in return, but when he backed away her eyes opened wide and searched his.
"Am I...Is this a dream?" She blinked several times, thinking to wake herself, yet he was still there. Looking severe and yet sensual all at once. If this was real...if she wasn't dreaming...then, did that mean that they...
Jude looked down at her, somewhat surprised himself. The corner of his lips almost quirked into a smile. How sweet she is, he thought. How innocent and pure. How much he could enjoy her, if only...But now is not the time. Now, there is far too much at hand.
"No dream, my sweet. Although I would love to whisk you away from here, that is not possible at the moment. Arrangements must be made, and an investigation is underway." Jude did find a smile for her, in reassurance, as he stroked her cheek.
"Arrangements? Investigation!? You mean, they really are dead? Mrs Jesrel and Conan, both?" Tamara leaned ever so slightly into his touch, her eyes never leaving his. His gaze was so strong, so fortifying. As long as he was there, looking at her that way, somehow she knew everything would work out for the best.
"As you say. Both mother and son passed this morning. The cause is still unclear. Until the root can be determined, the final verdict of their deaths is pending." He came to sit beside her, and took her hands in his lap, gently caressing her knuckles with his thumb.
Tamara drew close to his strength, and his warmth. Even so near to the fire, the circumstances at hand gave her a chill to the bone. "What do I do?"
At this question, and the trust and question unison in her voice, Jude took her chin in his hand, looking her directly in the eyes, "You have absolutely nothing to worry about. You will mourn as appropriate, answer all questions prudently, and stay secluded as much as possible. Until answers are found, it is safer for you to stay away from large gatherings of people. I will check on you regularly, as will trusted wait-staff. Otherwise, any interviews with the outside, detectives, important callers, etc, will be scheduled through either myself or Hirah. I will let you know where you should go, what you should say, and who you should trust."
She watched him as he spoke, sitting beside her, holding her close. Could this man really have been only a casual acquaintance, a co-inhabitant of the same household only yesterday? And now...what? What are they now, she wondered?
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What on earth had he done!? Jude shook his head, quite tempted to physically hit himself. He was beating himself up inwardly enough as it was, why not bring the fight out in the open. How could he allow such an event to happen, and at such a time as this? He had long harbored tender emotions for his sweet, young, 'daughter-in-law', though such titles hardly applied. 'Fellow Prisoner' was a more apt term, to be sure. He could in no way help his body's reaction to her closeness, her warmth, her deliciously fragrant hair intoxicating him as she sobbed - tears of what? Shock? Relief? Joy? Onto his shoulder, burrowing herself into his embrace as he had longed to hold her so many nights, mornings, afternoons...
And how could he have forseen the rest? Surely he should have known she would not be brazen enough to wear undergarments as some of the fast women of the 'ton' had begun to do. But he had no way of knowning she would land herself right down on...
Well. Enough of that. Reminiscing this morning's events was a joy better saved for other times. Right now he had work to do. He could not be honest and say he had loved either his 'wife' or her son; however, honor had kept him here. And now Grace had offered him some sort of strange deliverance. He had to be sure this new found freedom had not come at a blackhearted price.
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Tamara sighed as she pulled several mis-sewn stitches back out of her embroidery. She was never all together that good at needle work, anyway, but in circumstances such as these, who could really expect her to keep her thread straight? She glanced up again at the young groomsman guarding her. She had been informed by Hirah when he had shown her into this seldom used study that young Habersham was to keep her company in this time of grieving, that Mr. Jude had not wanted her to be alone. She saw through that statement as it was coming out of his mouth. Jude was protecting her from something. What, though? He had spoken of an investigation. Perhaps he did not consider the double passing of their respective spouses an accident. Had they been...murdered? If so, by whom? And Why? And were they in danger? Was He in danger?
That thought had her biting her lip, and mumbling naughty words under her breath as she looked down and began to again pull out stitches. She cared for herself not a whit. But for him...Should anything happen to Him...
No, it absolutely could not. Not now. Not after she had finally found him - her mysterious dream lover. Fate had been so sweet to send him to her, to give her freedom this morning...Surely she could not lose it all the same day? She would die. She just knew it. If anything were to happen to him now...
Just as fears of the worst began to spring into her imagination, she nearly jumped out of her skin when the door to the study opened. Young Habersham jumped up, assuming what could be called a fighting stance, if he had known how to conjur one. Jude walked in and held out his hand, stopping the boy, and motioning for him to exit the room, and stand watch in the hall. The young man nodded his head most solemnly, as though he were a fresh corporal and his general had just given orders. In many ways, that is probably how he felt, indeed.
After Habersham walked through the doorway, Jude watched himself, more than consciously acknowledged the reasons behind his doing so, as he closed the door and locked it.
Tamara watched and waited, breathless, as Jude approached. He took the embroidery from her hands, intending only to pat her hand in solace. But once her hands were in his, and her large, lovely eyes looked up into his - so trusting, so open, so giving. He decided on one kiss. Just a short, simple kiss. Just to soothe her. And yet when his lips met hers, for that kiss, intended to be so innocent, she melted beneath him, so warm and inviting, he could not help himself but to take just a little more. So when her lips parted under his, and he searched inside, and tasted her intoxicating wine, it was beyond his control as he drew her fully into his embrace, as he lay her gently on the chaise, one arm cradling her back, the other hand coming to undo the laces at the front of her bodice.
Tamara felt the very breath leave her lungs. All connection with reality, this day, and the current circumstances was completely lost. The only consciousness she could cling to was the incredible sensation resonating from Jude's mouth on her skin. He ever so gently took one of her pert young nipples into his mouth, circling the peak with his tongue, suckling with his lips and kneading with his fingertips. Her back arched without her telling it to, and she gasped then sighed. This was heaven - surely it had to be.
Jude left his hand massaging this first breast, moving his mouth to her other succulent offering. While doing so he instinctively slid his other hand up from her knee, bringing her skirt up with him until he was brushing the curly mass at her apex. Slowly his fingers found their way through to her most sensitive spot, touching so lightly at first. He felt her gasp and begin to moan beneath him and he covered her mouth with his own, even so rubbing her faster and stronger.
Witlessly she began to move her hips into his hand, not knowing why, only that she wanted more. He smiled inside, deepening the kiss and his hand movements, then sliding one finger inside of her.
At this entrance her body began to quiver, and she could feel herself shudder beneath him. She knew this felt good, although not as good as before. She wanted what had happened this morning, she felt a strong, long, hard part of his anatomy pressing into her thigh, and yet he made her feel so good with only his hand...She tried to hold out, hoping that he would go further, but soon realized she could not hold back her floodgates - and he did not seem to have any intention of doing any more than he was already doing now.
Reluctantly accepting that realization, she let herself go, giving in completely to his touch, and quickly felt herself lose all control.
Jude felt her shudder, shake, and flow beneath and around his fingers. He drank in her moans of passion and slowed his touch. He definately desired to take her again, but knew this was not the time or place. Still, once he started, he felt he could not leave her without any physical compensation. He hoped she would in some way recognize this as a deposit on what he hoped to come.
He gazed at her face, not believing his good fortune. In one day could he really be set free from his seeming life-sentence in prison, and also have been granted a slice of heaven-on-earth?
Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled, looking up at him. She raised her hand and brushed his cheek with her fingertips. He took those fingers in his own, pressing kisses into her palm. She cooed and stretched, wiggling beneath him.
He moved off of her and stood in one graceful, fluent motion, bringing her skirt down with him as he did, leaving her looking for all the world as though she were taking a mid-morning nap on the chaise. Very well - just as it should be.
I bent down quite correctly and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "I have a few matters to attend to. I am not sure if I will be back for luncheon, though I will try to see you for at least a few moments this noon. Afterwards I will have to be rather spontaneous for the rest of the day. I will most definately see you this evening to make sure you are well. Absolutely no visitors today, as Hirah has been informed. Habersham will stay with you at all times, and I will send a trustworthy female attendant as soon as possible. Otherwise, Habersham only leaves your presence when you are with Hirah, or myself, of course."
At that last comment Tamara couldn't help but break a smile, and even chuckle quietly under her breath. Jude appeared taken aback, if only for a moment. Tamara decided not only did she love him, but she also liked him very much. She reached up both arms and wrapped them around his neck, drawing him near and planting a very full kiss on his lips.
Jude was completely caught off guard, and so, gave in with no hesitation, returning the kiss and adding to it, one knee coming up beside her hips on the chaise, his arms surrounding her and pressing her breasts into his chest.
He was about to enter her mouth with his tongue when suddenly he realized what had happened. His innocent angel had instantly become a vixen and seduced him without even trying. Well now, this would not do.
He quickly, deftly, and almost professionally disarmed the passionate kiss, unwrapping their arms, and laying her back down to "rest". Lifting her lids, she revealed sparkling eyes with a hint of humor. For this one round she realized that, although he had not given her all that she wanted, she had gotten more than he intended to give. And that was enough for her, novice that she was...for now.