Procrastination, and Chemistry

...A new future grown from past experiences
Prepared, but not earned
Standing in my doorway
Waiting for me to open my eyes
To be retrieved

My bed and I are bonded
Like Carbon and Oxygen in the atmosphere

Thermal energy holds me
To leave seems impossible

The future of certainty
Is calling me
Not yet achieved
Must be achieved

But now is not a good time
I am still asleep, cannot get up
It is too early in the morning

I open my eyes

8:00 am

I can see it even when my eyes are closed
Taunting me
Calling me names

Stupid
Arrogant
Lazy

But my bed is so warm
I understand what I need to do
I need to get up, to study for my Chemistry Test
But to do it, no...
That is out of the question right now

At 8:50 am, school will begin

At 8:15, I will get up and study

Fifteen minutes from now
I will sieze my future
Beat the past
Earn the security of success

And study Chemistry

At 8:15 today
I will decipher the code of bonds

Breaking and connecting
Transferring energy

Electrical
Mechanical
Nuclear
Thermal

Energy surrounds me
But none inside....



The sun pierces my eyelids
Too bright
Too high in the sky

I should open my eyes
And look at the clock
But I am afraid of what I will find

Despite the fear, my eyes snap open
Hoping against hope that my judgment of the light is false

I open my eyes
Quick, silent prayer
I turn my head

10:46 am

"Oh my god."

I throw myself off my bed
The cold air robs my body of it's thermal energy
Shivering, I throw on the first thing I see

Where are my keys

I speed to school
Thinking about chemistry, but in vain
I missed the test
Chemestry grade, destroyed with this failure

My failure

11:09 am

I pull into the school parking lot
Thinking of ways to explain this incredible lapse of responsibility

Nothing
My mind is still asleep
Despite the circumstances

The parking lot is empty

Puzzled, I run to the door

Locked

Looking around, I begin to realize

I check my phone

'Saturday
March 28
11:11 am'