Unwanted existence

On my birthday, I asked for forgiveness for living in this world.

Born a girl and born far too flawed to be accepted, it was only to be expected that I would be treated with cold civility by the masters and servants alike.  It would have been better, as mother said, if I was never born at all.  At least then they could still have their hopes….

Certainty was a terrible thing.

And so, that’s why, on my birthday, they would live in dreams where they would hope that the child would be born a boy.  As for me, I would be locked in my room and I would give prayers to the familiar darkness that had always been with me.

Bless them.  Please grant their wishes.

And if they could, let them one day forgive me for being born their child and living in this world with them still.


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(150 words)