A Living Disability

A Living Disability: Ashleigh’s Story
By: Shatika A. Turner


“Nooo!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. “Please don’t.” I begged. I woke up from another horrific nightmare. My name is Ashleigh Myers and I am 23 years old. Two years ago, I went blind. I was in an abusive relationship. Day in and day out, my boyfriend would beat me for no reason at all. On this particular evening, we had gone out to have some “fun” as he addressed it. We went to Golden Corral and had dinner. While in line paying for the check, my boyfriend noticed another guy looking at me. I had smiled back at the guy but I was sure my boyfriend hadn’t noticed. We sat and ate dinner. Everything was fine until we got home. His whole mood changed.

“So, who was that guy that adored you at the restaurant?” He asked.
“I have no idea who he was..maybe he was just trying to be friendly.”
“Hmm…friendly. Ash, I just don’t like the way that sounds. Why would he want to be friendly and he doesn’t even know you? You said you don’t know him, right?”
I was getting very scared because I knew that when Jason started talking fast and asking a million questions, I was in trouble.
“Yea, I have never seen him before. I…I wouldn’t lie to you.” I stammered because I knew that he was about to start his daily beating ritual.
As he advanced and drew back his hand, I flinched. Two seconds later, I felt the stinging consequence of his slap. As I felt my lip beginning to swell up, he walked away. Oh, no. I thought. He is about to do something horribly wrong. I bolted for the door. Before I had a chance to unlock it, he grabbed me by the neck and threw me on the couch. He pressed his knees against my stomach and held me down. Just then, I saw he had a can of acid in his hand. What was he about to do with that? He shook up the can of acid and sprayed it in my eyes.
“Now, you can’t see anyone and you won’t notice anyone looking at you.” As I screamed, he kissed me “goodbye” and went out the door.

I have no recollection of getting to the hospital or anything that happened after that point. My friend explained to me that she had come over to check on me. She had been calling my house for two days and was getting no answer. She was starting to get worried, especially after she saw the 11 o’clock news that was reporting Jason’s suicide.

It took me a long while to adjust to being blind. Instead of seeing everywhere I go; I have to use the walls, a walking stick, and Braille (when available.) At first, I was frustrated and very angry with life. I even contemplated suicide.

I had low self esteem and stayed in the house with complete darkness. My friends and family tried to get me out of bed. My mindset was why live life if I can’t see. I had no desire to do anything at all. Everything I used to love to do didn’t interest me all.

One day, my mom came to my house and rushed into my bedroom. My mom said, “Ok, time to stop this. You may not be able to see but you will not let Jason get the satisfaction of knowing that he won, even if he is died. I hired a 24 hr Home Health Aide to help you. She will live with you and help you when you need. She is around your age. Be nice and Ash, please don’t be scared to ask for help.”
“Mom, I don’t want or need anyone to help me. I’m doing just fine. Thanks, but no thanks.”
My mom sighed. “You think lying here wasting away is doing ‘fine’? When is the last time you have eaten? Showered? Stepped foot out of this room? You will accept Azia’s help whether you want to or not. No child of mine is going to let their life go over some man and his stupidity.” I could tell by her voice that she was beginning to cry.
“Ok, Mom. Please don’t cry. I think I have done enough crying for the both of us for the next two decades. When does she start?”
I heard a small voice from the corner of the room. “I start whenever you want me to.”
“Where did my mom go?”
“She went out to the car to grab the rest of my stuff. My name is Azia and I am 21.”
“Hi, I’m Ashleigh. I’m sorry that you got dragged in here to take care of me…I can understand if you want to leave. I won’t be mad.”
Azia replied, “No, I would love to stay. Your mom has been gloating about you for days. I am very sorry for what happened to you.”
“Listen, that’s one thing I ask. Please don’t feel sorry for me. What happened was unfortunate, yes. But no amount of sorry’s or sympathy will make me see again.”

Just then I heard my Mom’s voice, “Hon, I’m going to leave you two to get acquainted. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”
“Ok, Mom. Goodbye. Love ya.”

Two weeks later, Azia and I had grown closer than ever. It was as if we had known each other for years. My mom was right; I did have to move on with my life. No use in sitting and sulking about the past. Azia taught me that the “What If’s” in life didn’t really matter once you moved on from a tragic point in your life. Azia taught me that no matter what life will go on.

I was beginning to accept my surroundings and the fact that I had to live the rest of my life blind. I got a job working as a telephone receptionist in a high upscale building where Azia also works. Adjusting to the job was hard, but I came to love it.

I was so happy to be out in the world again. I was even beginning to make friends and go places. I soon learned that my disability would never be my excuse for not doing what I want to do in life. I would not use my disability as my crutch. I have been going to therapy for a year and a half. I have learned some things about myself that I never knew.

I also never thought I could forgive Jason for what he did to me, but in all honesty, I do. If he wouldn’t have done what he did, I would not be the person I am today. I am stronger because of Jason. I love myself and who I have become. So, big thanks to Jason, RIP.

Azia no longer lives with me but we are still closer then ever. To her, I will be forever grateful for bringing me out of my shell.
I am now happily married to the love of my life. When we first met, I recoiled at his touch afraid he was going to hit me. When he sat me down and explained to me how much he loved me and that I didn’t have to be scared, I opened up. I will love him until eternity.

Everyone take this story into consideration. Remember what you read and NEVER let anyone run your life. My name is Ashleigh Myers and I overcame the control of a man.