Of endless, numbered days... |
My bed here doesn’t smell of you. The photographs on my wall, the music on the speakers... All of it. Chosen with the sole purpose Of throwing you, And the rest, As deep in to the remotest part of my mind that I can. But you're here, all of you... Haunting me. I made a clean break, shattered all the material artefacts, The inanimate recollections so I wasn’t forced To see you in my mind's eye. You shouldn’t be here, but you haunt me still... All of you I need you, but you're dead and hundreds of miles from here, And I’m alone here, In my own prison. Like ghosts in the snow you wrap around me, Blurring my vision but never seen, So as to land blame my sadness on the real, The now. But I see you. I know what it is that haunts me, And I’ll fight this, From my knees if I have to... You would want me to find peace. My mind lashes out at the memories... This is my life, and I will live it, Tolerate it... But without you, I can only bear it until i am free of it. Love was a silly game we played The beautifully twisted intricacies... The defining cadence... Our timeless romance. The sunny days spent hidden in each other, Lost in our secret world. The two of us apart from the horrid realities, Separated from the world outside of our ocean eyes. Fortunes kindness brought us from our own torments. We held, we loved, And in our world away from harsh reality... We thrived. Tragedy separated us... Our secret world invaded by the truths that reality would force upon it. Our love persevering until final breath Now I am alone here... In this room where ethereal memories dance in the emptiness of our secret world You rest, but I am restless... Lost here without you, Only the aeriform shadow of your beauty as your name passes my lips while I sleep... The dreams are long, my excitement grows with every sick self-perpetuating breath... Every one that passes is a prayer, Of terrible truths being nightmares and dreams being reality. And I wake, My memories of you close around me, In a final embrace As the morning light wisks you away. Away from me again... |