More Deployment Poems

I'm alone in this world
or at least that is how it seems
on the nights that the waters rage
the thunder rumbles and the sky weeps
I sit on my bed and stare out
at the dark night
the lonely night
I wish I had someone there beside me
to chase the shadows away
to scare away the demons
that stalk and prey ready to pounce
demons of doubts
demons of fears
the demons that bring me tears

I try to remember I'm really not alone
I have somone to guide me
a light bringer greater than any other
so I sit there and I wonder what to do
when I remember how easy it can be
all I do is bow my head and pray
I lower myself onto my knees
humbly I come to thee
I lift my worries and my fears
in a tearful plee

Almost at once my burden it lightens
the darkness gains a gentle glow
the angels have come to surround
and protect me from my foe
and as I rest my head on my folded arms
an arm lays across my shoulders
pushing back the waters and thunder
gentling the weeping
holding me close all night long
through that wretched darkness
until morning come

*****

Tonight I am laying on my bed
and I'm thinking of you
I'm wanting you
I'm missing you
and I'm waiting.

I'm thinking about you tonight
I'm thinking about the way you laugh
the way you smile and kiss
I'm thinking about your touch
and you warm, strong hug.

I'm missing you tonight
I just want to hold you tight
to hear you talk, to laugh, and to joke.

I'm wanting you tonight
to curl up next to you
to just hear you breath
to feel your arms around me
as I drift away in dreams.

I'm waiting tonight
as I do every night
I'm waiting for our time apart to end
I'm waiting to hear from you
to love on you, and to be with you.

*****

I don't know that girl
the one right there
staring straight at me
she seems so strong and so sure

I don't know how she sees
so much beauty in such a dark world
I don't understand
how she can be so happy
when it seems she should be so sad

I don't know that girl
with her brown hair and her green eyes
I don't understand
how she can be who she is

I don't understand
how do I not know that girl
the one looking at me now
straight into my eyes
with my own eyes in my own reflection

*****

I'm just a girl
nineteen years is all I've lived
some days I feel so you young
like I've just begun
and some days
I age and feel old and haggard

I'm just a girl
thrown into a tangle a world I really don't know

I'm just a girl who kisses her daddy goodnight
and holds her bear so tight

I'm just a girl
madly in love
waiting and wanting
praying no injury will come

I'm just a girl waiting on my boy
waiting as he fights the good fight
waiting for him here at home

I'm just a girl
and overnight it seems
I aged and I grew
as I sit waiting for you

*****

As I lay my head
on my pillow covered in your shirt
my mind will drift to you
I'll close my eyes
and I'll pretend that its you
you under that shirt and not
some silly little pillow
and I'll imagine that it's you
pressed against my side
and not just the air around me
I'll close my eyes
and in my dark room
you will suddenly appear
talking, laughing, and kissing me softly upon my ear
as I close my eyes
you will whisper you love
you will pull me close against your side
as I close my eyes

*****

Some days a smile is ready
always there and quick to come

Someday my tears are hot
and ready to roll
one lonely drop at a time

Some days my heart is full and glad
and able to keep my going

Some days that same warm heart
slows, it grows tired and lonely
and wants a break from the pain

All days I miss you and I want you
but some days the sadness is a distant memory
and everything seems doable and within reach

And some days I miss you and my heart aches
and you seem so very far away
out of reach and distant

Some days I'm okay, happy, and bright
and some days I'm not okay, sad, and my light is dim

but only somedays

*****

On days like today
when the sky is gray
and my mood is gloomy

I turn to you and
though you may not be anywhere near
you still bring me cheer

I curl up in your shirt
take out our pictures
and loose myself in the memories
The laughter and the love
bring a small to my face
and for that time everything is okay

I turn to you and
though you may not be anywhere near
you still bring me cheer

Tonight when I go to sleep
I will curl up and close my eyes
And as I lay there I will pretend
I will pretend that you are curled up there with me

I turn to you and
though you may not be anywhere near
you still bring me cheer

*****

I close my eyes
and take a deep breath
I focus on the end
and not on the now

I slowly open my eyes
and look straight forward
my eyes strain to see
looking for that light

With a sad sigh
I turn away
that light seems so dim today
so far out of reach

Its so hard at times
sometimes I feel so alone
all I want is you
to come home

I close my eyes
and take a deep breath
I refocus on the end
and not on the now

I open my eyes
and look straight ahead
find that guiding light
and keep on

*****

I will not cry.

I refuse to give in.

I am tough and can make it to the end.

God give me strength

Don't let me bow down

Help my hold my head up

and not down to the ground.

Sweet dreams tonight

A little reprieve,

God give me strength

Help me fight these tears back.

Watch over my soldier

I know you have his back.

I will not

I refuse to

These tears from my eyes

They shall not fall

*****

As the sun goes down
these feelings are abound
my heart grows heavy
my sighs draw out
tears threaten from eyes to fall

as the sun goes down
I reach inside
and hope to find
that inner strength
the one
that helps me not falter

as the sun goes down
I begin to look around
for that book that show
that distraction
anything and everything

as the sun goes down
a weakness fills my soul
the cast of shadows grow darker
minces and overwhelms
the heartache and the loneliness
take over

as the sun goes down
my smile starts to weaken
I yearn to be held and to hold
to not be alone
to cry in someone's arms
and rest my head on his shoulder
all of this
as the sun goes down

*****

It's love
Our love
reaches across oceans
connects heart that are
worlds apart
Its the blanket that
keeps us warm in our
lonely beds.
And it's love
that gets us through the days
Its loves that keeps us
from tearing and breaking away
It's our love

*****

Letting it go
is so easy to say
but sometimes
life gets in the way

It all seems to crumble
and makes you want to flee
to escape the reality flung your way

All of sudden
a new struggle you face
and you want to disappear
you feel you are to weak
and are overcome by fear

Its not going to be easy
and you will have to fight
but if you do everything you can
you will always stand

*****

When you feel left behind
and like no one really cares
I'll be there

When you are scared
and worried about whats to come
I'll be there

When you are down on your luck
or left out in the cold
I'll be there

If its great
and everything is grand
I'll be there

If you are happy
and in love
I'll be there

Through the good
and through the bad
I'll be there.