My Thoughts

I've got so many thoughts swirling about in my head so I thought I'd share them with the world. Please remember that these are just my opinions and I'm sorry if I offend anyone!
You know, I was looking around today and a thought occurred to me. Are all these people happy with their lives? I mean, did they achieve they're dreams? Are they still dreaming, like me, or have they completely forgotten what it is like to dream? Do you remember what it was like when you were a kid? How everything looked so bright and promising. Yet as you get older, the world seems to constantly want to tell you how to live your life to a standard that everyone else likes and the moment you try and do something different, you get branded an outcast. In my expierience, this happens a lot.
Just because my ideas are different from everyone I know, I am considered wierd, or am told by a lot of people to "grow up."
But what is "growing up" exactly? I wish I knew the answer.
People say you have to be more responsible. Fair enough, but these are the same people who constantly try to duck out of anything they don't like to do!
Same as when someone goes "you can't say that!"
Well why not? I thought we lived in an age of free speech? Yet if the mass majority don't agree with what someone is saying then you cannot say it! It seems to be the case with everything these days!
The thing is, reading this you might be thinking that I seem really depressed and angry, but I'm really a happy person, always optimistic and I usually see the best in everything. Its just getting harder to do.
I was told once by a so-called "Careers advisor" that I could never make it as a writer and was told to give up. What sort of advice is that to give to someone? Just give up. Give up on my dreams? Never. I believe that as long as you believe in yourself and stay true to yourself then you can achieve anything. And nothing will ever change the way I think about that.
I think that those who put others down are simply jealous of the person they are putting down, because of that persons ability to think differently. Strange isn't it, that if you try and do something different and get laughed at, only for all that to change a short time later when what you did first becomes popular.
I think I'll never truly fit in with any social group and to be honest I really don't want to! Those types of people seem to be trying to be someone they're not, rather than trying to be themselves. They laugh when nothings funny, and talk down to you if you don't like exactly what they like.
Lately I've been thinking what it would be like if I could have adventures like in the stories I read. Seeing new places, discovering amazing things and meeting a variety of people. Yet reality seems to ruin that dream. We're told how to live, told what to wear and even told what to say and think! And we are suppossed to be happy with that way of thinking. If anyone disagrees, then they are made to be "social outcasts" which to me means they were brave to try something different and should be applauded, not ridiculed!
The trouble is, less and less people are willing to speak out. Are they afrraid? Probably. But thats not good enough! To me, it looks like everyone waits for someone else to do something, rather than startit themselves. Thing is, that way nothing gets started!
Most people seem to be happy with this very predictable life, even schools are in on it now, they have lessons on social life, on how to live and what everyone apparantly wants to achieve in life. The ultimate goal in life seems to be money.
Yet what happens when you die? When you lie there, old in bed will you be able to look back on your life and really feel content. Or will you simply just disappear without leaving any sort of mark on the world. just another person who was born, grew up and died. For me, that is a big fear.
I absolutely hate that most people seem to dream of the whole married with two kids and a white picket fence. Maybe some people do like it, I don't know. But it all seems so scripted, so controlled.
I think from an early age I knew that i didn't ever want to get married or have children. I had a good childhood looking back, but I know that I could never repeat what my parents did, there was no magic there. My parents are also in the middle of a divorce, so that didn't really go so well, did it?
Their divorce doesn't have any impact on what I have said here by the way, I have had these thoughts for a long time now.

More coming soon!