'Til Death Did Them Part

As I sit here with tears in my eyes, I look back at my day. Sunday night, my 38-year-old godmother passed away. In July 2008, she was diagnosed with cancer in her cervix. It was a tumor, too large to perform surgery on. She's always had a lot of problems with her cervix and her ovaries, etc. and was never able to have children. For the last few months of her life, her kidneys began to shut down and the doctors were out of ideas. There was no way to treat it and she was slowly losing life. My godfather is in the Navy and he was stationed out in Hawaii. He made a promise to my godmother that he would get her to New York, her home, before she died. From what he was telling us, it was quite the flight. An incredibly emotionally and physically painful flight. She had only been in New York for a short amount of time before she finally let go, after 12 people in the room told her to give in, which my godmother was never known to do.

I hadn't seen my godparents in 4 years, and they'd been in Hawaii for 10. This morning, bright and early, my father and I drove down to Kellingworth, Connecticut for my Aunt Shellie's memorial. It was a hard drive. But seeing how well my Uncle Pat was taking it and how he tried to lighten the day, made it worth it. He was obviously in pain, but he made a point not to let anyone know. During the memorial, he started sobbing and it was obvious how much he truly loved her.

My dad and my Uncle Pat are best friends. As my godfather said before we left for Massachusetts, "Brothers." They caused a lot of trouble growing up, both of their parents know. But no one ever got hurt, except maybe themselves, and they never got caught. It only made sense that this man would be the one my father would appoint to be my godfather: the one I would go to should I have nowhere else to go. It also only made sense that the two of them would drink themselves stupid the day before he was to make this commitment :] As we were leaving, my godfather looked at my dad and he said "I love you" and my dad returned it. They really were brothers in that moment.

Uncle Pat made a point to tell everyone that I'm his goddaughter. He came up to me, kissed my forehead, and said "I will never forget that you're my goddaughter. Now, stop growing up. Go to college, and when we see each other next, you have to work on my back." I figured that my dad had told him about my dreams to go to massage school. He said that perhaps my Aunt Shellie had told him. It was then that I realized that I'd sent them a letter back around Christmas time to thank them for everything and to update them on my life. I didn't know she had been sick up until a week or two ago. I told her my plans to go to school and to open up my own spa and my plans to spend my life with my boyfriend. It was then that I realized that she told my godfather about that letter and that he read it. It was like a written, indirect, promise to achieve my goals. And now that Uncle Pat told me to achieve them, I must. Just for her.

Yes. I saw true love today. It radiated throughout the family. Today was not just a memorial for my Aunt Shellie. It was a celebration that she made it as far as she did and that she lived. She was a beautiful, radiant, kind person who wanted nothing but the best for everyone. She never missed a single birthday of mine or a Christmas. There was laughter and reminiscing and joy.. The mourning and tears were saved for that one hour of grief in the church. No one forgot Aunt Shellie.. She's impossible to forget. And it is for her that I will be the person I'm setting out to be. I made that promise to her, to my godfather, and most of all, to myself.