Reuben Underwood Profile

Motto: “ Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to test any drug they could come up with.” -George Carlin



Call me Ruby. Reuben is my grandfather and my father.  Tradition isn't my thing except if it's forced.I think I’m 16. Age is but a number these days. Parties are the best way to meet and greet especially if the right stuff is there. From beer, vodka, weed, Viagra, hey I have no preference. Fuck saying no. So many fun things happen when you say yes. I tried saying yes to everything, but not volunteer work with old people. They creep me out with their wrinkly skin. How can I party so hard and yes to almost everything that gets me in trouble? My parents live their own life outside the house and away from each other. Why don’t they divorce? It would cost to much money that they could just use to do things away from each other. I think I was a biproduct of when they got drunk one night and forgot to use a condom. I don’t mind. The quetiapine starts kicking in when I start thinking about it and my moods starts to change. Plus Rosa and team clean up after a party. She’s one of the few people I can count on since she basically raised me. She was the only one that remembered that I went to visit Heaven in New York and experienced the highs and lows of the famous social scenes with Kennedy, my new friend and troublemaker alike, and the new Heaven. She’s different, and not in tweed. No more Virgin Bride. She’s Christina Aguilera in her dirty phase. We had a lot of fun in New York. The glitzy, the glamour, the parties, and all the things at the parties we went to while their mothers were modeling, acting, or hanging out with men in the business made me want to stay in this oh so not proper world until the incident. I left before they did, but I remembered how the parentals acted. It wasn’t good. Thank God for neglectful parents. Now I’m just helping Heaven settle back into her room. Her father went big eyed at her New York chic look and her bitchy attitude and her sister looked panicked (probably at the gag gift Kennedy helped send). I’m glad I don’t know what’s going on. It would ruin the fun of the surprise of why Kennedy and Heaven want to be soooo bad to crash the party tomorrow. It’s not a party without my kind of fun, and this year is going to be fun.



Ambition: I met a professional club promoter. It’s like getting paid to party.



Bands: Bob Marley, the Beatles, depends on my mood or what is in my system



Television: It’s pointless. Life is more fun, but I do occasionally watch



Movies: Mostly porn on a good day





Favorite Book: The Very Hungry Caterpillar, it was the first book I ever read