Change Is Real (Auto-Biography) Part 5

I made a flash video of two stick figures having sex and the whole class seen it, so the teacher, Mr. Brendel rolled his chair over and i turned off the monitor and tried to hit ALT+F4 to close the whole thing and I was like, Mr. Brendel don't look its inappropriate. The whole class had smiles on there faces like I just did the stupidest thing ever and it was quite amusing because I was super scared. He pushed in the button and the video was looping, which means it kept going till the user stops the video, so he locks my computer and told me to go into the other room and sit for the rest of the day. All the kids kept on whispering and Mr. Brendle closed the door and was sending a long email to Mr. Smith, the dean of Steel Center. I was so scared but at the same time, i didn't really care because I basically hated my life anyway.

Mr. Brendle told me that he was not going to expel me or anything and I told him that I didn't care if he did and that i was tired of his stupid class and that he was a bad teacher and all he did was give us busy work while he drank coffee and sat around all day. Aaron was just laughing at the whole situation and i eventually quit Steel Center and just worked a lot, i would still go up to Steel Center and wait for the buses to come and get on with Aaron and i would go over his house in Heritage Hills in Elizabeth and we would hang out. There was this kid with goofy eye brows named Shawn Martello he was from Thomas Jefferson as well. He remembered me from Payne Hill because he used to live there and cousin Lyndsay's friend Amber used to watch Shawn and his sister Stephanie. Shawn and I had a rough start because he gets so offended when people comment him on his eye brows because they were so bushy and they grew so weird, we eventually became friends and i would see him at Century 3 Mall occasionally.

I eventually quit school completely because all i wanted to do was work and make money so i requested more hours and he gave them to me. I re met this kid i knew in fifth grade, Spencer Gwinn and his best friend Drew Kotuce at Gamestop. I would randomly see Spencer on the bus and at the mall and when i first met Drew all i seen was a huge nerd that looked like Harry Potter, i figured he was into dungeons and dragons or star trek. Drew is actually a pretty neat guy full of energy with a big heart. I seen Spencer and Drew at the bus stop by the Mall and asked them where they were going and they said to Drew's house, and i asked if i could join them. Drew was skeptical at first but he agreed only if his mom let me stay over. Drew and Spencer were going to Steel Valley and Drew actually lived very close to the apartment i grew up in. So we get to his house and I met his mom and she seemed like a very nice lady. Drew has two younger brothers, Will and R.J. Will was eight and R.J was eleven and they were going to Barrett Elementary.

I was like the third guy in the group but I was very annoying still, I never shut up and complained a lot, but that was the first time I got to actually play X Box 360 for the first time. Just about every day I didn't work i went over to Drew's. I even brought Phil over a few times because we all loved video games, sadly Phil hated X Box 360 so it was hard to choose a game to play. Drew was a huge Rise Against fan but i kept on telling him that the Chili Peppers were so much better than Rise Against but he didn't want to accept it. I spent majority of the summer time at Drew house, i once stayed over there for four days and just played X Box and talked to Will and R.J. They looked up to me because I was always there for them, I would walk with them, to and from school and talk to them when ever they had problems and help them with there homework. Drew was friends with this guy named Adam, and I met Adam once in the past because I once went to Kennywood with Aly, Adam, and Sonya Sherlock before her and i broke up and long before i went to Family Links.

Adam works at Giant Eagle at the waterfront, and he started hanging over at Drew's a lot. I was only at Adams a few times because his grandma was very racist and she was in the mafia when she was growing up. Adam is homosexual but I didn't care because I don't look at that in a person, I look at the person for the person but at that time Adam denied it but we all knew. He thought no one would want to be his friend if he told people that he was gay, but no body cared. Drew didn't have a job and would visit his dad occasionally and Spencer worked at Eat N' Park so i would just hang out with who ever was free at the time. I just worked and blew my money on scratch cards because Alice always won and i figured if she could win money i could win money.

Working at flamers was fun because i met a lot of people and I always had a passion for working and earning money the right way although I was on register rather than cooking. I met this chick named Ashley Sethman while on register, she was really pretty and i asked her for her number and she gave it to me. I called her that night and was talking to her and we had some things in common. She would always talk about this guy named Kevin how much she loved him but couldn't stand how he was some times. Few days later i seen her and i was on my break and I remember she asked me for a mountain dew, so i went all the way back up to flamers and gave her a mountain dew and we were walking around the pet store with her friends. We went to the arcade and she sat on my lap and i was thinking, okay this is awesome. I went back to work and that night around 11:30 in the morning i gave her a call just to say whats up and she didn't appreciate that and she said i was to obsessive. I mean yeah i guess i was obsessive but i really liked her. I found out that she was Kyle and Brett Wargo's cousin and that i knew her brother, J.R Sethman from South Wood, what a small world.

Ashley was mad at me, her sister Shannon hated me because of Ashley hating me, and i haven't seen or heard from J.R since south wood. I told Kyle the whole story and he said that its a stupid story and that I would never marry or get in any of his family's pants. My intention was not to get into her pants i just liked her and wanted to hang out with her. I got into a huge argument with Lynda again so she decided to put me back into Millvale Shelter again so i agreed to go because i was so fed up with her. I went to Millvale and stayed there for about three days than i decided to make a change and that I wanted to go to school and get finished and get a great job and make a lot of money and start a family and forget about the family I had left. Lynda was still in that wheel chair and she had medical assistants come in to her house and take care of her because she could no longer take care of herself, it was quite sad but i think that its karma for the way she was towards everyone. Yeah she did a lot of good, but also a lot of bad stuff and she just screwed up the whole family by throwing out the people that she didn't deserve it.

I used my freewill and i walked right out the front door and there i was, a free spirit walking towards down town. It took me an hour to get down town and i made it to market street and i bummed two dollars off a nice lady and waited for the 61C and there i was back on my way home. I had a bag of clothes and my wallet and a one way ticket to freedom and i took the chance risking everything but i made it. I was back at home with Lynda and she let me stay and that is one thing that i will always appreciate is her letting me always come back, i guess we just needed a break from each other all the times we argued.

The cops were involved this time though because CYF found out I ran from Millvale but Lynda told them she didn't seen me. The cops showed up and i hid in the basement till they left. Few weeks later of hiding out Lynda's medical assistant reported me for being there because she didn't want the cops to show up while she was working there, she didn't want to go through the drama. I was sleeping on my bed room floor and all i seen was this bright light shine upon me. I took the blanket off of my head and there was a cop shining his flash light and he told me that it was time to go. I was half asleep but i told them i had to change my clothes, so they followed me into the basement and i took my damn clothes out of the dryer and put them on. I went into the back seat of there car and i was freezing cold in these damp clothes because they didn't dry. I went to the police station where i sat in a chair waiting for an on call case worker to come pick me up and take me to my next destination. I was sleeping and four hours later some CYF case worker said i am going to a placement called Glade Run.

Glade Run was in Butler County, Zelienople Pennsylvania and there were more cows and farms than people and buildings. The atmosphere was more clear and it was so peaceful up there. Driving up there with her i was asking how long i was going to be there and she said that she wasn't sure. The best part of that day was the beautiful scenery while driving up there and the smell of fresh country air. About an hour and a half later i was up there and when ever i got out of the car i was thinking in my head that this place shouldn't be that bad. There were different cottages up there, nice play ground with a basket ball court and majority of it was all grass and field. I was staying in the shelter just until there was an opening at the Glade Run RTF. All of the cottages were close together but you were not allowed to go into another cottage without being directed by a staff member or super visor.

The staff members were really nice and the kids were from all over Pennsylvania. The first staff member i met while being there was Mrs. Daisy, she was very pretty and i was thinking about all of the stuff i wanted to do to her. Mr. Bill was the old geezer of Glade Run, he's been working there for over twenty years and he didn't did some volunteer time. He always worked with me and talked to me when ever i needed it, but all i really wanted was my laptop. It was pretty much boring up there, i mean yeah there was TV and there were people to talk to but i didn't really talk to any one up there.

There was two kids up there, and one of them i actually met in Family Links Lawrenceville , his name was Steve Monoghan. The other guy i met was some guy from North Carolina named Mike. Mike was a nice guy but he had some problems dealing with being up at Glade Run although he was in adoption homes majority of his life. Mike worked down at the horse barn every day cleaning up the animal poop and he would get paid a little bit but he mainly did it because it was so darn boring at the Shelter. We would basically play foot ball and walk around the units everyday just for exercise, i met this other staff member, i had the biggest crush on her, her name was Mrs. Amy. Mrs. Amy was working on our unit a few times but she was usually at the females only cottage so i cherished the time her and i spent talking to each other when ever she would come over. It was tough being seventeen years old in placement and no girls to have sex with or any alcohol to drink. I just wanted to get out of placement so bad, I mean what did i seriously do to deserve all of this.

Being in Glade run made me think of my past and how my life could of been if i just never moved out on Munhall and just stayed at Steel Valley my whole life and never of left all my friends, i might of had better social skills and even more friends and had money and maybe Lynda wouldn't of been sick and still working and spoiling me. Maybe my sisters and I wouldn't of gotten separated and the whole family could of stayed together for the better. I mean could life of really been worse if i never moved from Munhall and been to all of those placements. I just really needed a miracle, some type of guide to get me on the right path in my life. So i was thinking about the song Can't Stop by the Red Hot Chili Peppers and how much i loved the band and how they were able to conquer the world and go anywhere there heart took them and still had love for the universe. I started to appriciate life more and realize that this is my only life and that i can't waste it by doing stupid things and letting the past dwell.

Can't Stop is a beautiful song about Anthony Kiedis making it big in life and never had any regrets and did his own thing, never imitated any body and followed his dreams without caring for peoples criticism. Lyrics that i live by are "The world I love the tears I dropped to be part of the wave can't stop, ever wonder if its all for you, the world I love the trains i hopped to be part of the wave can't stop, come on tell me when it's time to". To me that means that he has been through alot of depressing situations where he thought he could never get out of but he didn't let it get to him and he did great things for people no matter what, he never stopped loving. He didn't have boundaries and was able to get anywhere in the world with his own two feet. A surviror, a Legend.

So one day while being there I was thinking, I am going to run away from Glade Run and follow the spirits and see where they guide me. At Glade Run they put your shoes in a closet once you come in from outside but I snuck them into my room under my bed. I tied them up together and had them in my hand because I run faster with my shoes off. I asked Mr. Bill, "Hey Mr. Bill, are you fast?", and he responded "Yeah im pretty fast" than next thing you knew, i bolted right past him and ran out the front door and there i was running really fast. About two minutes later i heard a crash in the ground that sounded like God striking a lightning bolt at me, so I turn around and I see this person running really fast toward me. He caught me and I though to myself, wow that guy is seriously fast and that I have failed my mission. His name was Mr. Mike and he was a track runner. He asked me what i was doing and i told them that i was going to go home. He said, "Home, your miles and miles away from home" so i said, "why do you care?" and he said that its his job and that he wants me to be safe and that I would never make it there.