caging my monster

Bored, depressed, chained and isolated,
captive of my own past.
Violence, endless misery and despair,

drug addiction, lies and thievery,
constant influx of chemicals
creating a pattern of chaos.

I lied down with the devil
became infected with hate,
gave birth to a monster.

Blaming my surroundings
other people always at fault
refusing to look inside myself.

Even through dawn breaks
my world stayed black,
fueled by hatred and distrust.

A chance taken,
reality stretches forth.
An unwanted truth begins to shine.

Tears of anguish,
self realization so strong.
I'm my own worst enemy.

Decisions to be made
the blindness must life,
my anger towards others misplaced.

Apologies to be made,
work to be done,
fear to be faced.

Emotions rage
sense of self returns.
Responsibilities in order.

Some have given up,
some have stayed.
I thank them all.

Time has passed,
Relationships mended,
no longer passing blame.

It is I who failed.
It is my time to succeed.
It is all in my hands.

I know love again,
my dawns are beautiful,
my mistakes corrected.

A new day breaks.