Damaged

Chapter 1



It was so cold.



The overcast sky announced snow precipitation at any moment. It was like the world had turned gray and plain the second they were gone. At least that was how she felt. Watching her parents’ coffins being slowly laid six feet under, her world was now an empty, cold place.



Feeling a hot tear make its way down her cheek, Julia Colburn brushed it away with the back of her hand. She didn’t think she had any more tears to shed, but her body was constantly surprising her. At age 22, she thought she had cried more in the past two days than she had in her entire life. It just hurt so much. Just the very thought that she would never hear her mom complain that she paid more attention to her friends than she did to her family or listen to her dad telling her for the millionth time that she should think about changing her major so she could take over his place in the company when the time came, killed her. She never thought that losing someone could hurt this bad.



Now she looked around at the people who had come to pay their respects, their dark outfits starkly contrasting with the almost blinding white background. They had all talked to her and hugged her and said empty words in a vain attempt of making her feel better. Right now, though, she just wanted to stop hurting. As bad as it may sound, she liked the numbness her mind and body had experienced when she first heard her parents had been killed in a car accident better. At least then she didn’t have to suffer through this searing pain in her heart, like someone was squeezing it so tight that she could barely catch her breath.



Brushing another stubborn tear away, she swallowed hard and forced herself to pay attention to the words being said. When it was all done, she gently deposited a white rose in each grave and whispered to the wind that she loved them both from the bottom of her heart. Looking back one last time, she walked away quickly. She couldn’t bear staying there any longer.



“Jules!” She heard her best friend Izzie call after her. Julia turned around and saw her running towards her. Izzie’s cheeks had a reddish tinge from running and from the intense January cold. Her blonde curls escaped from a baby blue hat. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I got caught in traffic.”



“It’s okay, Iz.” Julia gave her a sad smile. Izzie pulled her to a tight hug and she couldn’t fight the sob that came out when her friend wrapped her arms around her. Right then she surrendered and finally allowed herself to break down since she had seen her parents’ graves. “I’m sorry.” She tried to brush away her tears and step away but Izzie kept a firm grip on her.



“It’s okay to cry, Jules. Let it all out.”



“I just want to get out of here.” She said after a few minutes.



“Okay.” Izzie tucked Julia’s brown hair behind her ear and brushed her tears away with her thumb. “Where do you wanna go?”



“I need a drink.”



Izzie looked at her friend skeptically and shook her head.



“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”



“Iz, please. I need to forget, at least for tonight. Please?”



Izzie bit her bottom lip, thinking. She didn’t have a good feeling about this, but Julia looked so desperate. How could she say no?



“Sure, why not?” She sighed and Julia smiled thankful. “Wanna go to Seven?



~*~



James Morgan looked at his reflection in the mirror and grinned.



Life could not get any better, he thought, looking around his huge bedroom in his equally huge penthouse. The view of New York City from the thirtieth floor was downright breathtaking. His family business could thankfully afford the life every guy his age dreamed of having.



Money, booze, girls and adventure.



What more could a guy want?



Okay, so he didn’t have the most honorable job in the world as he was sure that theft and murder were severely frowned upon in today’s society, but he wasn’t one to complain. He had been raised in this kind of life and trained for the job since he was 14 years old. Now at 25, he was a pro. Every other week his father gave him an assignment. Sometimes it took him a few days to do it, sometimes it took a few months, depending on the case, but he never failed to complete a mission.



Applying some gel to his black hair, he styled it until it was fashionably messy giving the impression he had just rolled out of bed. Over the last few months, he found out that girls loved his hair like that and he thought it didn’t look half bad. Standing at 6’1’’, he was a hit with women. His emerald green eyes just seemed to lure the girls like moths to the flame.



Tonight was his first free night after two long weeks in which he had scored two million dollars and didn’t even have to kill anybody. To be honest, he wasn’t too keen on the whole murder thing. But when it was absolutely necessary, he did it without even blinking. He was trained for that and he made his daddy proud. Tonight, though, he didn’t want to think about work or his father. He was going out with his brother, get drunk, bring back a hot piece of ass to his place and have his way with her.



They always loved his apartment, he thought with a pleased smile.





~*~



“I can’t believe he had the nerve to do that.” Julia said taking a swig of her beer.



“He did! The son of a b---- even asked if I wanted to freaking join them. I mean, how sick is that?” Izzie complained. “Bastard. Thank goodness I didn’t like him.”



They were at Seven, a local club that had been getting some hype around town. It was their usual hang out place since it was only a few minutes away from campus and from their apartment. Usually the crowd consisted of college kids, but lately it had been packed with new people every weekend.



“You know” Julia said thoughtfully. “I liked this place better when it wasn’t so crowded.”



“Are you kidding me? We get to meet new people, not the same guys we see every single day around campus.” Izzie said, tucking a loose blonde curl behind her ear. “Those two over there, for instance.” She pointed at two tall guys who looked strikingly alike.



“I’ve never seen them here before and, boy, do they look gorgeous or what?” she winked playfully at her friend who rolled her eyes at her.



“Whatever. I liked it better when it was just us.”



“The one with the black shirt is staring at us.”



“Iz…” Julia started. She didn’t want to deal with guys tonight. She just wanted to drink and mourn her parents’ death in peace.



“Oh, he’s coming over. He’s mine, by the way. I saw him first.”

Julia sighed and rolled her eyes again.



“Be my guest, Izzie.” She said and downed the rest of her beer. The faster she got drunk, the better.





~*~



“Come on, Jamie, you can get her friend. She’s hot too.” Samuel Morgan nudged his brother. James pushed him away and glared at him.



“Don’t call me Jamie, dude. And why can’t you go by yourself?”



“Oh, Jamie… sorry, James.” Sam rolled his eyes. “Just, you know, it helps a little. Not going there alone.”



“You’re a f---ing baby, you know that? And that girl better be good in bed.” James said pushing his brother towards the girls.



“Don’t let her hear you say that.” Sam laughed. “Hello, ladies.” He leaned against the counter next to the blonde girl and smiled. She smiled back and he got a burst of confidence. Even with his good looks, he was still shy when it came to girls.



“Hello yourself.” She said and he felt his confidence slipping away suddenly. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so upfront. Now he didn’t really know what to say. An awkward silence followed. “You are…?”



“Samuel Morgan.” He said quickly and saw James trying not to laugh at him. “But you can call me Sam.” She nodded.



“Izzie Campbell and this is my friend Julia Colburn.”



“It’s an honor meeting such beautiful ladies.” James said and winked at Julia. She only gave him a small smile. “I’m James Morgan.”



“Nice to meet you guys.” Izzie said cheerfully, but Julia only nodded.



Sam and Izzie hit it off, despite Sam’s initial shyness and lack of confidence and soon were seen dancing rather close to each other. James stayed at the bar with Julia, who didn’t seem to want any company. He was determined, though. He would not go back home empty handed. And tried as he might, Julia was the only girl who caught his attention tonight. She intrigued him. Usually the girls would be all over him in no time, but she barely even looked at him.



“Wanna dance?” He asked, gently brushing his arm against hers.



“No, thanks. I’m good.” She said and downed the rest of her beer.



Her third bottle since he arrived.



James watched mystified as she delicately put the bottle on the counter and ordered another one. She had a glazed look in her eyes as she took yet another sip of alcohol.



“Don’t you think you’ve had enough for tonight?” he asked softly.



She glared at him.



“I think it’s none of your damn business.”



“I’m just looking out for you. No one drinks like that unless they intend to get completely wasted.”



“You don’t know me.”



“True. But I don’t really have to know you to know you’re trying to drink yourself to death.”



She glanced up at him, anger and tears welling up in her eyes. He almost smiled, realizing he had hit a nerve.



“Do not talk to me about death.” Her voice came out forcefully, but barely above a whisper.



“Is that why you want to desperately get drunk?” He turned to her, touching her arm again. She flinched at the contact and pulled away from him. “Because of death?”



She looked away and he saw her try to covertly brush away her tears.



“I just want to forget, okay? Just leave me alone.”



“Julia”



His voice was soothing when he said her name. She turned back to look at him.



“What?” She sighed and he saw the exhaustion displayed on her face.



“Who are you trying to forget?”



“I don’t want to talk about it.” She tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and sighed heavily. “Please.”



James nodded and took the bottle from her hands.



“I can’t let you drink like that, though. Sorry.” He added when she opened her mouth to protest. “Come on, let’s dance.”



“I told you I don’t want to.” She crossed her arms in front of her defensively.



“Well, the way I see it, you have two choices. Stay here and sulk all by your lonesome or come and dance with me. I highly suggest you choose the second option.” He smiled at her goofily and she gave him a small smile in return. “Let me help you forget what’s hurting you.”



He resisted the urge to pat himself on the back when she let him lead her to the dance floor.



~*~



Her head was pounding. Her mouth felt like someone had dumped the entire Sahara Desert in it and when she made the mistake of moving her body, the contents in her stomach rolled violently and threatened to resurface.



She hated this feeling. Swallowing hard, she tried to take deep breaths to control the nausea and opened her eyes, only to close them again immediately. The harsh light made her headache pick up a notch or two. She groaned and sat up slowly as to not upset her already upset stomach.



“I told you not to drink yourself into oblivion, but you obviously didn’t listen to me.” A smooth voice made her freeze her movements as she held her breath.



A male voice.



s---.



“I got you a cup of coffee and some aspirin.”



Julia opened her eyes and found a pair of green eyes looking at her curiously. The light in the room was dimmed, but even that made her head hurt more. She blinked and a thought crossed her mind. Had she slept with him? Why else would he be here?



“Julia?” he touched her shoulder gently. She swallowed hard again. “Do you think you’re going to throw up?”



She shook her head and grimaced, immediately regretting the action. Gathering up all of her courage she finally looked down at her body and sighed, relieved that she still had her clothes on.



“Yeah, I didn’t take advantage of you. You passed out before we even got here and I didn’t know where you lived.”



“Thank you.” Her voice was hoarse and she gratefully accepted the cup of coffee he handed to her. “That was very sweet of you…” She tried hard to remember his name but nothing came to mind.



He chuckled and rolled his eyes, which slightly annoyed her.



“James.” He supplied with a teasing grin.



“Right! I knew that. James Morgan. Right?” She said and everything came rushing back. Her parents’ funeral, going to Seven with Izzie, meeting James and his brother, drinking way too much, dancing with James – or maybe grinding with James would be a better way to describe it, she thought with a grimace.



“Wait, where’s Izzie?”



“Your friend?” Julia nodded slowly and rested her head on the wall.



“The last time I saw her she was leaving the club with my brother. I don’t know where they went.”



“Oh. Okay. At least one of us got some last night.” She mumbled under her breath and James laughed.



“Well, we can always fix that, you know.” He said with a wicked grin.



“Thanks, but no, thanks. Right now I think I might throw up on you if I move too much.”



He nodded and smiled at her. “The offer still stands for some other time when you’re not hung over.”



She chuckled and nodded, biting her bottom lip. “I’ll keep that in mind.” She looked around, not knowing what to say next. “Um, I should go home. I have class in about an hour.”



“Do you want a ride?” He offered and she was confused by his expression. He looked like maybe he thought he had said too much.



“I don’t want to bother you.” She stood up and felt dizzy. He caught her before she fell on the bed.



“I think I have no choice. You can barely stand on your feet, Jules.” She closed her eyes and sighed, involuntarily resting her head on his shoulder.



“Okay.”



He smiled at her relaxing form against his side and brushed a strand of her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear.



“Okay. Lead the way, Ms. Colburn.”



~*~



The fifteen-minute drive to the apartment she shared with Izzie was mostly silent, but not awkward as Julia had predicted it would be. James seemed to be lost in his own little world and she was trying her best not to move so it wouldn’t make her hangover worse.



Also, the fact that she had buried her parents the day before was starting to sink in. As an only child she inherited everything. Her father had been the owner of the most successful company in the country. They were in the electronics business and in the last ten or so years Blue Fox Technology had soared in the business world. Thanks to the company doing so well, Julia had attended one of the best private schools in the country, ensuring her way into an Ivy League university. In just three short years she would graduate from New York University with a medical degree.



And her parents wouldn’t be there to see her fulfill her dream.



She felt a stubborn tear escape and quickly brushed it away. They wouldn’t want her to cry. Her mom would say that it was better to remember the good things about the person you loved than let the pain and grief consume you. Still, she couldn’t fight the tears as they spilled down her cheeks as if they had a mind of their own.



Taking a deep breath, she tried to stop them before James had a chance to see her like this. She felt humiliated enough after waking up in a stranger’s apartment completely hung over. Adding a complete breakdown was rendered absolutely unnecessary in her book after this.



Wiping the tears away with the back of her hand, she looked out the window and took another deep, calming breath.



“Julia?” His voice interrupted her thoughts. She bit her bottom lip, willing her voice to come out firm and strong.



“Yeah?” No such luck. She knew the shakiness in her voice was impossible to miss and just kept looking out the window, hoping he wouldn’t ask anything.



“Are you okay?” He asked and touched her arm gently. She shied away and didn’t look at him.



“Yeah.” Another tear fell from her eyes and she brushed it away angrily. Crying in front of a complete stranger was not going to make things any better.



“You’re crying.” It wasn’t a question. He reached out to touch her again, this time taking her hand in his.



“I’m fine.” She said through gritted teeth and her words came out forced. He squeezed her hand gently, in what she was sure was an attempt to comfort her, and the car came to a stand still. “What are you doing? Why did you stop?”



“You’re crying.” He repeated and she finally looked at him. The concern in his eyes seemed genuine and she was surprised to find it there.



“I’ll be okay. I just need to get home.”



“What’s wrong?”



“James, please. Just keep driving.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, willing the headache to subside and the big lump in her throat to disappear.



“It’s not healthy to keep everything bottled up, Jules.” He had yet to let go of her hand. She let her head fall back until it rested on the window and closed her eyes.



“You don’t know me.” Her tone was short, but he still didn’t let go of her hand. It only seemed to encourage him as she felt his thumb draw lazy circles on the back of her hand. “Let’s just keep driving, please.”



“Let me help you. I know you’re hurting, but I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”



She sighed and opened her eyes to look at him. Why wouldn’t he leave her alone?



“I buried my parents yesterday.” She said and the silence that followed was almost deafening, even if it only lasted a second. She closed her eyes again. “Can we please go now?”



The next thing she knew, her seatbelt had been unbuckled and James had pulled her to him in a tight hug. The tears threatened to resurface as she allowed herself to relax in his arms for a few seconds. When he whispered how sorry he was in her ear, she pulled away.



“I don’t need your pity.”



He sighed, annoyed, but didn’t let go of her.



“I know. You need breakfast, though, don’t you?” he asked with a small smile.



“I need to go home.” She rolled her eyes when he shook his head. “James, come on.”



She froze when she felt his lips on hers, effectively silencing her protests. The kiss was innocent, almost sweet she would say, which she definitely wasn’t expecting from a guy like James.



“I’m going to buy you breakfast and then I’m going to take you home.” He said and his tone was final.



She nodded and couldn’t resist when he placed yet another kiss at the corner of her mouth.



~*~