Stroker U.

The crowd inside of the packed gymnasium reared up from their seats. It was the halftime show and all of the excitement that it brought with it that had them all whipped up into such a frenzy. The student body that had gathered here to watch the Strokerville University’s Fighting Beavers perform went especially wild when they watched their beloved mascot parade out onto the court amidst the rest of the prancing cheerleaders, marching band, and baton twirling drill team members. It was a large furry thing that hopped merrily all about the hardwood floor. It came complete with an oversized head packed with a set of bucked teeth, a large flat tail that flopped at its back, and a yellow T-shirt embroidered with a large letter S on the front.

The cheerful creature continued to pump its fists up into the air above its head, much to the amusement of the blaring crowd. That is, when it wasn’t turning cartwheels and rolling all about on the floor. The cheerleaders turning flips and tossing each other into the air at the animal’s back, all to the tune of the noise of instruments that filled the triumphant atmosphere, made for quite the spectacle of team spirit.

The dancing beaver had come to be so adored that it actually drew a collective groan when it skipped its way out of the main area of play and disappeared from view. It returned to an even louder cheer of praise when the crowd saw that it was now packing in its padded mittens a freakishly large double barreled cannon. The beaver aimed the weapon up at the stands and greeted their vocal praise with one fired round after the next.

A vibrant rain of colorful T-shirts fell on the students and faculty that had descended on this portion of the university campus in record numbers. By the time the beaver was done the crowd in the stands above was littered with a bounty of the mascot’s gifts. With his cannon slung over one of his shoulders by a strap, the beaver dropped back into the crowd of cheerleaders at his back, turned, and plucked one of the young ladies from the pack. Cradling her in his arms and making out for the nearest exit brought the people in the stands to their feet for one final uproarious round for the fuzzy critter.


“Will you please put me down before you drop me,” the cheerleader said to the fuzzy beast once they reached a vacant area of the arena. When he dropped her down to her feet again Nurse Connie Lingus straightened out her brightly colored skirt and looked up at the large beaver head in front of her with a frown. “I take it those were the shirts that I completely wasted all of last weekend saturating in that unearthly concoction of yours?”

He reached up and hoisted the giant beaver head into the air until a large plume of wild white hair plopped free. “Of course they are, woman! And I seriously doubt that your meager sacrifice could compare to anything that I’ve endured in rigging up this masterpiece,” Dr. Stuffinfuzz said to her. “Come now. We must leave this place before we’re discovered.”

And with that, the cheerleader skipped off after the wildly trotting, headless beaver as they made their way out of the arena.