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Rated: E · Other · Comedy · #1508517
Humerous look at how my life has changed as a single mom.

When I set out to become a single mom through adoption, the advice I heard most often, both from friends and almost strangers, was…”Boy, is your life ever going to change”. Nodding, as if I seriously appreciated this wisdom, I was thinking, “They must think I’m stupid, of course it’s going to change!” I was lying, even to myself, because I harbored the illusion that because my life was pretty simple, any change would be minimal. I wasn’t a wild partier, went to bed early (even on weekends) and was a very organized person. Now, after almost 4 years of motherhood, I look back on my early expectations, and think, “I WAS stupid, has it EVER changed!” However, still being an organized type of person, I’ve made a list for anyone I know contemplating motherhood, entitled: Did Then……Do Now


Did…go out line-dancing two nights a week.
Do ...the Electric Slide in the living room to "Peanuts Country Classics on Toys".

Did…talk on the phone for hours.
Do...not.

Did…drink a nice cold beer on a hot summer day.
Do...enjoy a "Juice in a Box" as a way to unwind .

Did…excuse myself politely in social situations.
Do…announce to ANY group, “I have to go potty!".

Did…eat popcorn for dinner, on my lap, while watching TV and reading at the same time.
Do: ...eat real meals, with the basic food groups included, at the table, after saying grace.

Did…watch R rated videos.
Do…have the ability to sing ANY song EVER sung on ANY children’s video .

Did…eat bran flakes, granola, and other high fiber cereal.
Do…enjoy separating the marshmallows from my cereal and eating THEM first.

Did…read a new book at least once a month.
Do ...read the SAME book EVERY night..

Did…go to aerobics in cute exercise clothes 3 days /week..
Do...a 20 minute walk on my treadmill, by my bed, at 5 AM, WITH my bra on OVER my PJ's.

Did…vacuum the inside of my car regularly.
Do… check for MICE if the car windows are left open overnight.

Did…go to the bathroom WITHOUT company.
D0…not.

Did…eat yummy sandwiches on healthy, gourmet bread.
Do…eagerly wait for leftover bread crust from PB&J sandwiches.

Did…go to bed most nights without a kiss and a hug.
Do....well, YOU know!
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