The Waltons

John-Boy Waltons diary

August 15th, 1939 Times have been tough on the mountain this summer. Pa went to see Ike Godsey at the General Store about a payday loan so that we could keep the mill operating. We're all doing our part to keep expenses down. Grandpa said if the lord was willing, he'd only drink the cheap stuff.

August 30th, 1939 Mary Ellen growing some pretty nice breasts.

September 17th, 1939 Being a writer sucks but at least it gets me out of chores. Grandmas got everyone else cleaning out the shitter while I'm working on my novel. I think I'd rather be an astronaut. Did I mention Mary Ellen has pubic hair? Finer hair you'll never see.

September 22nd, 1939 Times are still tough on the mountain. The General store has added a used meat section in the deli as well as a Buy-here, Pay-here car lot around back. Jasons penis getting bigger and stronger . Elizabeth still a ways off from puberty, but I think she'll be a fine one. A redhead you know.

September 25th, 1939 Jim-Bob snorted up his whole Ritalin prescription in one day. Now he's running around the house like a maniac.

October 5th, 1939 Started an after school group for self pleasurers. We call ourselves the Whack-Pack. I hope Jason joins. Grandma says we're all going to burn in hell.

October 12th, 1939 My birthday today. Let me tell you about it. First off mama puts candles in a week-old loaf of bread and pretends its a cake. Then I unwrap my present and it's the same pair of bobby-sox I got last year and the year before.

October 29th, 1939 When the nights start getting cold the family likes to sit around the fire and play spin the bottle.

November 16th, 1939 Ike comes by in the middle of the nite to repo our truck. Says it's nothing personal, just good business.

November 17th, 1939 The General Store burned to the ground last nite. Grandpa says it was nothing personal, just good business. The state says they're going to send in an arson specilaist from Richmond. Grandpa decides to take a vacation. The first looting in Walton Mountain history occurs as Jim-Bob comes home with 6 charred cans of potted meat.

November 19th, 1939 Erin had unprotected sex with a boy she met at the church picnic and now she's afraid she might get the polio. Mama told her not to worry because you can only get the polio from blacks and homosexuals. That's when Erin started crying and told us that Kiki was both. Grandma said we had to stockpile plenty of wood so we could start a nice fire in the morning. Jason said he always has plenty of morning wood ready.

November 23rd, 1939 Thanksgiving day. Not much to be thankful for. No General store to buy food from and no truck to get us there even if there was one. Besides Ike said if he saw so much as one Walton on his property he'd shoot first and call the law later. Ma boiled us some turkey franks left over from 4th of July and we all said the blessing none the less. No
word from grandpa.

November 28th, 1939 That runaway slave that the Baldwin sisiters have been harboring has escaped! Apparently he managed to gnaw thru his leash sometime last nite. The whole town is on red alert. The men folk are starting up a posse with bloodhounds and everything. The women folk are afraid to go out after dark.

November 29th, 1939 Good news. They found the runaway. He was asleep in the back room of Mortons B-B-Q Shack with a facefull of sauce, and a belly full of ribs. Now Mr. Morton wants the Baldwin sisters to pay for all the ribs he ate. The Baldwin sisters told Mr. Morton they could just keep him cause he was as lazy and as shiftless as they come.

December 10th, 1939 Jason wants to be a DJ at a club in Charlottesville. He already has a name picked out for himself, "MC Jason".

December 15th, 1939 I was taken off laundry duty when mama caught me sniffing Erins panties before they went into the wash. Jason got a job dancing in his underwear for the Baldwin sisters. Still no word from grandpa.