Diary of a mad fat woman

Its been said you should write about what you know.Well, I know fat. I know how many candy corns you can eat on weight watchers, I know how many licks it takes to get to the center roll center of a toosie pop, and I know what a muffin top is in a tight pair of jeans. Ladies this is not a complement. Ive gained and lost more fat then a roll gone butterless. I know what its like to have to lift your stomach to shave your bikini area.
Why can't I just stop the insanity? Because this is my form of heroin. Food is a drug to me, its an addiction. I want to stop but cant. Oh i'll be good for a while but then I get that sugar high and then the next morning feel like crap because im coming down off of my fix and to feel better I need to eat more sugar. Its a vicious cycle.
Just today I tried on my size 14 jeans and couldnt get them buttoned because they were to tight. I refuse to go to a size 16 so I pull out my sweats.You think that would be enough to say " ok stop you've gained 20 pounds" No not me, after my little crying jag I went and baked two loaves of bananna bread and two loaves of white, and anytime I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom I loaded up complete with butter on my face and a glass of milk. Sure I hate myself in the morning. I hate how it makes me feel sick and out of control. I know I need to stop. But seriously what do I know!