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Rated: 13+ · Monologue · Comedy · #1499163
Where does that lost sock go?
[Jill is crawling around on the floor, looking under various objects such as chairs, heaps of clothing, etc. She is only wearing one sock]
JILL:
I've always wanted to know what happens to my socks when they go missing. Where do they go? I always put two socks in the laundry, but I only get one back.
[She finds a sock, but it is the wrong colour. She discards it]
I refuse to wear mismatched socks. Other people may not know any different, but I will. I just can't wear different socks - my socks set the tone for the entire day, and mismatched socks make for a hectic day.
Sometimes I wonder if the dryer eats my socks. But if this were true, how would it know to eat just one of each colour? I know it's not possible, but I still wonder. Maybe there are little monsters living in my dryer. Every time I put a new load of laundry in, they come out and prey around, looking for socks.
[Pause.]
I wish it were that way. The truth is, I'm just disorganized. Maybe if I safety pinned my socks together, I'd be able to keep them all. Or maybe I'd just lose the entire pair. That would be just my luck.
[Finds sock, pulls it on as she's talking.]
Oh! Here it is. It's a good omen. Having a matching pair of socks makes my day a little less chaotic.
[Noise: Dog barking, bus motor]
What was that? The bus! Shit! No! Come back!
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