UNUSUAL MIRACLES

UNUSUAL MIRACLES



I heard tell old Homer and Jethro was sitting out on a limb the other day when a real honest to goodness miracle happened. Least wise, they said it was a miraculous something or other.

"We was just sittin' here minding our own business, discussing Darrell and his other brother Darrell when it happened," Homer stated. "Now Jethro, he was a scratching at a pesky flea an not payin' much attention, but I swear this here is the exact way it happened."

"We'd been huntin' acorns all day; must of been in half a hunnert trees, and the pickings were awful slim. In fact, my belly done wrapped itself around my backbone on account of I was so gosh darned hungry."

"Along about dusk we hear this lady walking through the leaves and she stops beneath our tree. You remember her, she's the one what takes care of that white cat she calls Little Bit and old Skeeter, the town dummy. Boy, he's might near the dumbest dog done ever been born. We watched him chase his tail one day till he caught it then he didn't know what he done caught. He took a chomp outta it and ran like the mail man done walloped him."

"Well, like I was a sayin', she stops at the bottom of our tree and dumps a load of corn on the ground then meanders back to her house. Me and Jethro assayed the situation, you know; waitin' and lookin' and lookin' and waitin,' wanted to make sure it weren't no trap of some kind. After a spell, we called Darrell and his brother Darrell, and boy did we have a feast."

This odd story told by Homer and Jethro wouldn't be particularly newsworthy if it wasn't for the fact that it is just one of many strange stories spreading around our county lately.

Over at the new feed mill, people actually sat out bowls of warm milk for old Lady Precious' kittens. Jake, the old hound who lives near the sawmill said someone left him a five pound stew bone with lots of meat left on it. Elmer, who hangs around the courthouse bummin' handouts said people were actually pettin' him instead of kickin' him around. And these incidence of free food, petting, and unusually nice people have even spread way over to the other county.

What to make of it, I shore don't know, I reckon it's anybodies guess. Professor Ormann, the wise old owl who lives in the church loft, thinks it has something to do with the time of year.

"It's a seasonal thing," the Professor says. "Each year just about this time the humans become unusually happy and extremely generous. They go out of their way to be nice to each other, even nice to their pets and some small part of it filters down to us wild critters."

"If that's the case why does it only happen once each year?" I asked the Professor. "What can we do to make the humans be kind and generous the rest of the year?"

"I been a watchin' real close from the church," the Professor said, "but I just can't seem to nail it down. A certain time of year they sing special songs, put on odd clothes that look like bathrobes, and throw a human baby in a basket, then they stand around smiling and laughing. I say, it's very odd, very odd indeed!"

Despite what the Professor says, I know there must be some way to stretch this unusually kind human activity out over a much longer period.

Like the Professor, I've studied human behavior a bit myself, consider myself a good investigative reporter, and I've noticed that this isn't the only time of year that humans become friendly and kind and unusually generous. Along about late spring they also display some of these odd but wonderful characteristics. And that one deals with a human person that hangs on a cross. I don't know what this baby and this man have in common, but I am certain that it all stems from Them.

If I can only solve this mystery, perhaps there may be a way to spread joy and happiness all year around.

Who knows, I might even win the Pulitzer!