Dark is Here: J .R./ Back to School

Dark is Here
Jealousy Rules/ Back to School





Jeremiah



“Hi.” She says and smiles.

“Hey.” I say back with a smile.

Lyenne again. She’s at my lunchtime hangout spot in front of the school. I walk over and sit my skateboard down on the steps.

“You mind if I sit down?” I go.

She shouldn’t because it is my spot.

“Sure.” She goes. “I mean…yeah whatever…”

“Looks like having all those new friends is starting to rub off on you.” I go. “What happened to that tough, street attitude?”

“Ha-ha, don’t tease me Jeremiah.” She says.

“…What’s wrong?” I ask.

“…I….” She looks down shyly.

“Hi Lyenne!” A couple girls yell from across the school lawn.

“…Hi!” Lyenne yells and waves back.

“See you in class!” They yell. “Oh! And don’t forget to review before the test today!”

“…oh crap…” Lyenne says. “Thanks guys! I forgot about that!”

The girls laugh with good nature.

“Oh don’t worry about it!” One of them yell back. “I’ve got extra notes, I’ll get them to you next period!”

“Thanks!” Lyenne yells back shyly.

Lyenne sighs and hangs her head. I’ve never seen this side of her before. Without that rough exterior she’s looks… nice. Friendly; shy even.

“…I don’t even know their names.” Lyenne says. “…and they’re going to let me use their notes for the test…”

“And you’re complaining?” I go. “Two weeks ago you were worried people wouldn’t like you.”

“Yeah, I mean…I wanted people to like me, I just-” Lyenne pauses. “…didn’t expect people to like me this much. And so fast.”

“You’re just not used to being around so many people” I try. “Give it some time.”

“But Jeremiah, almost everywhere I go people know who I am!” She says. “Kids are always coming up to talk to me, wanting to eat lunch with me, offering to buy my food, and I can’t believe that even their parents are stopping me by name outside of school!”

“Why not? You’re likeable.” I go. “All the other kids look up to you, you’re like a hero to them.”

“But that’s not me! I’m not that girl! I- ” Lyenne stops herself and lowers her voice. “I’m the one that lives in a vacant building. I’m the one with no family and friends. I don’t have anyone to cook for me-I ride a freakin skateboard to school!”

That’s the kind of person Lyenne is used to being. An outcast. And those are the things people used to say about her. Now, those are the reasons they love her.

“Lyenne, you’re not the only one.” I try. “We all come to school like we’re supposed to be kids but at home, not everybody gets that shot. I’m not sayin we all got it as rough as you, but everybody’s got some stuff to deal with. I mean it’s no big secret that you live in vacant buildings and stuff. People talk to other people about other people, just not themselves. But when kids see you, they see hope. They figure, well if she can deal with all that, then maybe I can too. It makes a person feel less alone to know that there’s somebody else struggling with some of the same stuff that they’re struggling with.”

“…No Jeremiah…that’s not it…” She says with a snivel. “I know…I’m not the only one.”

Lyenne starts to wipe tears from her face.

“I hear stories all the time…”Lyenne wipes her whole face. “…about kids, getting beat up…kids, getting cursed out…kids, getting raped… other kids tell me everything…they think I’m some kind of saint or super hero…what am I supposed to tell them? …how am I supposed to help them? I’m just twelve!”
“…You are helping them Lye.” I tell her. “…you listen to them. That’s enough. ”

Lyenne grips her head between her hand as if she’s trying to keep it from growing or exploding. She looks like she’s in pain from a headache. Suddenly she starts to sob.

“I…I don’t want to listen!” She cries. “It’s hard enough not being able to escape my own nightmares! I don’t want to hear everybody else’s!”

Lyenne is crying with her head between her knees now. I can see a puddle of her tears forming on the concrete beneath her.

“…I-It’s too much…” She cries. “ …no…don’t depend on me…”

I don’t know if it’s going to help her, but it just feels like I have to do this. I sit down next to her and put my arms around her and hug her tightly. She doesn’t try to pull away from me. She slows down little by little. I hold her for about ten minuets until she stops completely. When she’s done she looks at me and I let go of her, feeling suddenly embarrassed. I stare at the ground and neither one of us says anything for a while.

“…I guess…” She says suddenly breaking the silence. Her voice is still shaky. “…I guess I’m…just used to, being by myself…used to being lonely…”

What do I say to that? It has to be something deep-like.

“…Things do change Lye.” I tell her. “…You know that right?”

“…Yeah…” She says squinting tears from her eyes. “…Now I do...”



-End of Chapter>