Ugly

Casual whispers under yellow city light, whispers that all seem to be about the same thing. Whispers about every mistake ever made. The negative aura is choking. We all suffocate under the weight of it. We all lie about it. We are all fine, actually.

Pull the collar of your trench coat up higher, you’ll look cool. You’ll look like the crowd. Buy pretty little objects, get your hair coloured in the most popular colours. Buy blue contacts, smile at every one. No one can know about the million issues you have.

Fake it all, fake it all, fake it all.

Use your biggest problems to win over someone. Get a discount, gain an insider. The rest must be tucked away now, you know what they are, but no one else should know. Wrap your self up in them; melt them together to make a suit of twisted armour. If you only focus on those, you won’t have any room for more. Your armour stretches to accommodate McDonalds.

Please ignore everything. Please miss all the hints, please turn a blind eye to all but you and your other self. Yell to get what you want. Be a two face. Be defensive when someone sees that.


Change the subject, peoples mistakes are old news. The negative aura is choking me, but it’s filling me, so I can put it here. We all suffocate under it, I know this first hand, but don’t worry, I won’t tell you. I’m fine, actually.

I’ll pull up my collar, but the underside isn’t black like yours and yours and yours.
It’s purple!
I’m going to buy what I want. I don’t want blue contacts, I want green ones. I’ll smile at you if you deserve it. I’ll buy something ugly just because no one else wants to. No one can hear about my million issues.

I’ll fake it all, fake it all, fake it all.

My biggest problems make people uncomfortable. I’m not okay with talking about it, and no one knows how to help me.
Take that Dr. Phil.
I didn’t make armour, that’s what everyone was doing. I built a wall and gave it silver eyes, to deflect the world and to see in the dark. But she is changing, and has issues of her own. I can’t ask her to save me every time. I’m actually too shy to ask for help. It means I’m weak.
It means I’m human.

Please try and see me. Please catch every hint. Please… don’t turn away. I’m so small no one else will see me down here.
Stop yelling. Why are you such a two faced loser? I can’t stand knowing that you are capable of this!
I’ll be defensive because I don’t know how to be offensive.