Uncomfortably Numb

My emotions have dried up.
My brain is now tied up
with negative feelings and thoughts,
back to relying on pot.
this constant state of numbing,
is always overcoming.
those words that you said to me,
the lies that you fed me
left me not comfortably numb,
but just defeated and done.
The values and morals i had,
are now just ones of the past.
Time to start it from scratch,
and never look back.
Writin my own words, believing no lies,
approachin every new person with the most cautious sketched eyes.
Been burned long ago,
so i already know,
what to look for in newcomers that enter my world.
Now im shivering and cold,
from what i’ve been told,
its cut off my circulation,
those words, i just cant take em.
Train of thought withdrawn
that train is long gone.
Im senseless and scared,
and just can’t turn back on.
Depression will sink in,
overtake all that im thinkin,
sit upstairs all alone,
unable to fake a grin.
Speechless to all friends,
please won’t this all end.
I want this numbness to give in
so i can feel my limbs.
Get back my emotions,
Get back all my thoughts,
regain all my values,
put down the pot.
And Get me back to myself,
cuz its all that got.