I Killed and Raped a Hitch Hiker

I picked her up on the side of the road
She looked just like an angel
I look just like a toad
She'd been hitching all day, had little to say
And I wanted to unload my load

So she hopped on in with a wink and a grin
Cutest thing that you ever did see
She had "C" cup tits that were giving me fits
And even most of her teeth

I kept the small talk short, I am glad to report
I let the girl know what's on my mind
That I wanted to fuck her, lick and suck her
And tap that ass from behind

Well she refused to give in, cause she thought it a sin
"Who has sex before marriage?"
So I threatened to slap her, like a gangsta rapper
And kick her ass outta my carriage

I tried to grope her, tried to grab
Tried to entice her with a porno mag
She still wouldn't hear it
Or even let me near it
And pulled some pepper spray out of her bag

She sprayed my face like a skunk being chased
I damn near crashed my car
But I gripped the wheel, and with balls of steel
I pulled in to a bar

"You've got one last chance to dance the dance
Or I'll boot you out for good
Now shift my stick and I'll get you where you going
Just take care of my wood"

Still defiant, that little goddamn bitch
I went ahead and locked her door
She was angry again, and still hating this man
Even more so than before

I punched the gas, and sped off fast
Fuck this trying to be nice
I'll give her AIDs and hepatitis
The Clap and pubic lice

She screamed and cursed, recited verse
From the bible to change my mind
Not to hold her here against her will
Or to rape her poor behind

I pulled onto a side road
Where no one could surely see
Just me, the girl, and my busted ass car
Just the girl, my car, and me

I reached into the glovebox
She bit and scratched my arms
"Do as I say, and don't delay
And to you, I will do no harm"

I got my pistol and I cocked it
Changed CDs, and then I rocked it
She tried to open the door once more
But I'm a sharp motherfucker and I locked it

"Well, well, well" I said with a sneer
"What do we got, what do we got here?"
Still she said nothing while I munched on a muffin
Then sipped a drink of cold beer

I leaned in close, touched her lips to my nose
"I bet you'd like to eat my fuckin boogers?"
"Cooperate now, you mean 'ol fucking sow
Or I'll cut you up and feed you to the cougars"

She just tried again, to fight back again
Smash the window, anyway she can
So I racked the slide, shoved the barrel inside
This girl was wearing no panties

I rammed it in, and I ripped it out
She cried and moaned, and began to pout
But that didn't phase me, in fact it amazed me
And I started to laugh and shout

There was blood and piss all over my seats
Fiero Recaros, isn't that neat?
I punched her and punched her and punched her again
Bloody as hell from her hair to her feet

I drug her from my car, added some scars
Raped her on top of the trunk
She was too weak to fight back, no need to backtrack
Her face was covered in spunk

Barely breathing and barely alive
Like a young baby bee, who's escaped from the hive
She shook her head, shook her head, kept asking "Why?"
Begging and pleading for her to just die

Remorse had settled in
I really felt bad
For doing what I've done
For being a mean lad

I tried to console her in her last few breaths
And ease the pain of impending death
She gurgled and spat, like a sick feral cat
Closed her eyes, died
How about that?

Panic had set in, where do I begin?
What do I do with this body?
I had to think quick, and not think with my dick
But mostly I just had to potty

So I went on the girl
I pissed, pee'd, and sprayed
Then it had dawned on me
"I need to get laid"

I checked for a pulse and her core body temp
Dead as a door nail, my dick's getting limp
Spread eagle, naked, cunt was still hot
So I got down and fucked her and gave all I got

Never before had I fucked a dead body
But now that I've tried it
It's not all that shoddy

No fighting or feuding or hassling with rubbers
No movies, no dinners, no saying you love her
Just guilt free sex without breaking your necks
And it's much more better than fucking Kleenex