Loving an Enigma

So I was only a girl with a girlish body--blossoming breasts and swelling hips--when you first met me.
So I was barely able to hold my breaking emotions together but you didn't see any of that in me, dear.
What you saw was the beauty that took me four painful years to notice.
What you saw was "a beautiful personality" and a "pretty gorgeous" girl.

I love you for piecing me together and holding me up as I walk along this beaten path.
I love you for never judging me even when I tell you that I am weak and hurt and angry--like everyone else . . .
I love you for being yourself around me and being patient even when I ask you twenty questions that you don't necessarily have to answer.

But you don't see me as your lover or even as a friend--we're close enough to not call this a simple friendship though. This isn't lust, you say, it's just a close friendship--an indescribable bond.

Dear, you're not the one for me right now though. It hurts me to realize that you're taken, you're claimed, and you're owned. It hurts me to say that I can only dream and secretly love the thought of you holding me. And God I hope that your girl loves you and doesn't try to change you. I hope she realizes that you're one of a kind and that you're an inspirational person.

God I hope . . . I hope . . .

You're too far away dear and I honestly don't know if I'll be able to take it . . .

I just don't know and God I hope . . .

I hope . . .