Dear Anyone

Dear Wayne,

You are my everything. I love you to death. We've gone our separate ways and I see you rarely and you have no idea how that tears me up inside and brings tears to my eyes. I had a dream once, you know, and you moved so far away and never came back. I woke up and cried my eyes out. The next day I went to your house and we played basketball at the park. The whole time I felt the urge to hug you, hold you tight and never let go, because until that dream, no, until that nightmare, I feel that I never really understood how much you meant to me.

I know that maybe I don't mean as much to you as you to me. But the thing is, you have to know that forever I will love you. No matter what you say to me, I know if it really hurt me you'd know and you would be sorry, I just...I don't know. I really love you.

My Love,
Zaydus

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Dear Justin,

You...I don't even know where to begin. I do love you a little bit. I love you enough to worry about you. You're into drugs and getting drunk out of your mind. And I'm not alright with that. And yet for some reason I still love you...it's twisted.

If you took care of yourself, you'd never know how much stress that would take off of me. I know I shouldn't worry, but you're my friend, and I care about my friends, therefor meaning when you're getting high as a kite in the middle of the night beside a river, of course I'm going to worry.

You don't yet know how much you worry me. One day you will when I can't take it anymore. Then maybe you might change?

Love,
Zaydus

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Dear Adam,

Haha, you're my little ray of sunshine. I love you for your pointlessness. Everyone needs a bit of pointlessness in their life otherwise they're too much of a puritan. You amuse me so much and I appreciate that. You really don't know how many times you've put a smile on my face when other people have made me want to return to old habits.

But I thank you most for helping me eat again. I was anorexic. Hiding it from everyone including myself. You didn't even know, but you always got me to buy you candy and food and share it with you, so in making me broke, you also got me to eat again and I've never felt better.

So again, thank you, and keep being pointless because that's why I love you.
Love,
Zaydus

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Dear anyone who cares,

I've written many suicide letters. But the thing is, I always chickened out of actually killing myself. Just ending it. My thoughts went straight to you three, Wayne, Justin and Adam. You guys, are insane. You probably don't even know how you've saved my life and gotten me through each day.

So, despite the fact of how many girls think they're my friends. Just know, that if for some reason I go weak and let my mind take me away from you forever. Know that you kept me hanging on for a pretty long time. Know that it was never because of your actions that caused me to make this decision and take the coward's way out.

Please know that the three reasons that I would never leave is you three. And know that the reasons why I would leave, is not you. It's because something more powerful than you came into my life, and I hope to hell that never happens. Know that I love you. Know that I will watch you. Know that please.

I love you three so much.
Stay fresh. Stay fly.
Zaydus