"Enlightenment: A True Story"

I had it and I let it slip away.
I blinked once and there it was.
Just weeks later it faded to nothing before I could realize it.
The World and its attachments crept back in.
Some, they say, can walk between two worlds.
I couldn't. So I chose this one.
Maybe I saw some potential in it.
I don't know.
It was probably a mistake.

Or, I had more to learn.
Maybe what I experienced was a tease,
A sneak preview of what I might see if I worked hard enough for that ticket.

Work, I think, is the key.
Maybe I didn't have the mental discipline to keep it.
Distractions, always.

I still feel the loss.
But, importantly, I now know it's real.
And I know I can achieve it again.
Maybe achieve it for good.
With work.
And discipline.
And enough strength to live IN this world but not to be OF it.

Still, there's frustration.
Like a drug addict forever chasing that first high.
They die without ever feeling it again.

Work.
Discipline.
It comes in the blink of an eye,
But like an invisible garden in the soul
It needs to be tended.
Constantly.
Not taken for granted.
And never forgotten.

- September 18th, 2008 5:52am.