Captain's Meal

On the deck of his vessel sat in mute intense thought, Captain Reginald D. Crunch. He was bent over a bowl of porridge, and fooled around with his spoon scattering most of its contents about.
“You seem quite troubled Captain.” Sounded a voice from behind him, though he paid little attention. It was Edmond Sattle, his first mate, who had approached and sat himself nearby.
“The crew’s very cheerful after today’s lootin’.” He said trying to jerk a reaction from the Captain. But the Captain kept his empty expressionless stare directed only at his bowl of porridge.
“Come on, you can’t be that disappointed in us.” Edmond continued in his pointless jabber. He was young and fine-looking, but didn’t have much to offer when it came to intellect. The Captain knew that when he first selected him for first mate, believing he would stay loyal out of sheer idiocy.

A long silence followed until Edmond finally grew anxious and sat himself closer to the Captain. He used a supple voice and said “Reggie, everyone is devastated at the latest losses, but no one even considers blaming you”.
The Captain finally reacted, and through his husky white mustache made an incoherent babble “’his ‘ori’ge ‘s ‘ter’ble” and lowered his head even further to a point his face almost sank in his bowl.
Edmond chuckled, “The porridge is terrible”, and added “You probably miss Jameson more than all of us”.

Lloyd Jameson was the ships pastry-cook up until a week earlier. He had died in an attempt at satisfying the captain’s request for a truly explosive meal, setting off a blast that rid of most of the upper deck’s kitchen altogether. The Crew was devastated, but the Captain took it hardest of them all. Since then, they had all been eating what was left of a supply of canned porridge that lay in the hanger since they originally went out to sea.
“Jameson loved his work captain, and he went away in a true blast, trying to make YOU happy. That’s how much these guys look up to you”.

A long silence was broken as the Captain lifted his gaze at Edmond for a couple seconds, and murmured softly “Spanish Corn, English Flower, brown sugar… What am I missing?” and tapped the spoon against the table, tossing bits of the porridge at Edmonds direction.
“WHAT!?” Edmond asked in a sudden burst of terror, “The Spaniards and Limey’s? Is the Santa Maria on our tail again?”
The Santa Maria was a Spanish vessel they had battled several weeks earlier. It was the only match for the great Captain Crunch’s crew and had left quite an emotional wound on Edmond. “We must prepare the men then” Edmond added.
The Captain looked gloomily at him and didn’t say a thing.

“SNAP OUT OF IT!” Edmond suddenly yelled as his patience grew thin and agitation grew thicker. “The Santa Maria will get us all this time” He began shaking the Captain, pulling at his blue velvet suit. “You can’t just sit here; we must prepare the cannons, bottle up the fresh water, Fix the damages on the starboard wing and drop the food in chloride! DO SOMETHING!”
The Captains eyes grew gradually wide, he mumbled “Chloride, fresh water, I wonder…” and color started to return to his cheeks.

“WHAT are you mumbling about!?!” Edmond exploded. His face was red and perspired, he was breathing heavily.

The Captain started developing a grin; he looked at Edmond, and suddenly jumped in the air yelling “You’re a genius Eddy my boy, Hydrochloride is the answer!” and embraced him strongly. Edmond stood rather confused and wordless. The Captain said “The Hydrochloride will work out the dissolving issue; it will keep the corn crunchy!” and he ran off as swiftly as Edmond had ever seen him go.

He promptly returned holding a bunch of ingredients, upon them a can of Hydrochloride. He poured them all in a bowl and tinkered with the mix for a while. He tasted it, gave a nod of approval and hurled the mix on the stove. Edmond was fascinated (tough very confused) and preferred to watch the scene play out before he made any additional moves.

Several minutes passed, the Captain pulled the mix from the heater, let it cool slightly and dispensed the contents in a bowl. He added a pint of milk, and forced a spoonful of the material in his own mouth. He yelled in delight “Eddy, you’ve got to taste this, it’s perfect!”
“What is it?” Edmond asked.
And The Captain said in true bliss “The most delicious explosive and crunchy breakfast in the world!”