The Bullpen

The Bullpen

- Fastball -

ima dime-a, ima dime-a, ima dime-a-dozen
(teeny-weanie, teeny-weanie, teenie-weanie's cousin)
what's it matter, doughnut batter, if ya lick da beater
holy-molie, roly-polie, life tastes so much sweeter

- Slider -

Cat-pan Stu has done it all -
mined the mount then made it tall
caused a yellow kitty squall
belched a record great fur ball
had a fling we can't recall
then left a litter in the hall...
guess Cat-pan Stu ain't Stu at all

- Curve -

praying Pria Mantis couldn't get a date
despite the nasty rumor that she liked to mate
"is it that i'm ugly? or that i'm not so great?"
(not exactly, Pria - it's someone that you ate)

- Change-up -

"Bill?  Bill Simmons?"
"Well, if it isn't Wanda Baker.  How have you been?"
"Lonely as hell.  And yourself?"
"Gay.  I'm still gay, Wanda."
"That's nice..."
"So...what brings you to the men's room?"
"I wanted to meet men."
"Good thinking."
"Men don't seem to like me much, Bill."
"Maybe you press things, Wanda."
"No, that's not it."
"Do you think it's because you drool?"
"Bill, if you were a man, do you think you'd like me?"
"Maybe if I were a sponge."
"I've been alone all these years, Bill."
"I wish I could be alone."
"Alone?"
"A little, yeah."
"Oh...Well, I can see you're busy."
"Right now, yeah.  A little."
"Maybe some other time?"
"It's just that I'm peeing, Wanda."
"I understand."
"Take care now."
"You too, Bill."
"Good-bye."