Starbucks or Pepé

Starbucks or Pepé?



It was early evening and my wife had left to pick up our son from his martial arts lesson. I was in the upstairs bedroom reviewing an instructional video on surgery in preparation for a course that I was going to attend during the upcoming weekend in Baltimore. I had noticed that it had gotten a little bit cool in the upstairs bedroom so I closed the window. The surgery that I was reviewing was rather complicated and was somewhat hard to follow. I found myself getting a little bit sleepy. I definitely needed my caffeine fix.

It was at that point that I noticed an aroma. I felt like my dog sniffing the air and I was satisfied that I had identified a rather strong brew of Starbucks in the air. I was rather disappointed that I did not hear my wife climbing up the stairs with my coffee. Shortly after this that the aroma became much more intense. My initial thought was that perhaps she was cooking a snack for me. I went down stairs to investigate.

I was met with an over powering pungent odor with no one to be found in the kitchen. My thought was that someone had left the gas on in the stove. I went over to it and on close inspection was surprised that all controls for the burners were in the “off” position. What the source was for this gas leak? Logically, I figured that it must be the hot water heater in the basement. Grasping my flashlight, I descended the stairs two at a time. Before hitting the bottom step, the thought crossed my mind that perhaps going to the basement by myself was not the brighttest idea. What if there was a spark from the water heater? I would be history. Or, what would happen if I was overcome by gas fumes and lost consciousness?

“Fight or flight” may have been my motivation, but I ran back upstairs wondering what to do. It came to me, "I need a second opinion" and I needed it fast. I thought "who should I call"? I settled on the fire department. Of course, no phone book was available and I had to call information on my cell phone. To my dismay, when connected, I got voicemail at the firehouse. Just a little bit frustrated and concerned, I figured this was a rather serious situation so I dialed 911. Calmly I explained to the operator that I smelled a rather strong odor of gas or maybe something electrical burning. The dispatcher told me to make sure that every one was out of the house and that help with soon be on its way.

Sixty seconds later I heard the rather obnoxious city fire department's loud horn signaling danger. Within a few minutes, fire vehicles rushed past my house. Waving my arms frantically, I was able to attract their attention and direct them to the site of the emergency. Climbing up the steps to my house, the fireman asked me what the problem was. I explained that I smelled a rather strong odor of gas or electrical wires burning. Before he went into the house he asked "does it sort of smell like this skunk smell out here?"

Needless to say an inspection of the house proved that all was still safe in our household. When I went to bed that night with my head buried in the pillow to filter out the obnoxious fumes, I had visions of Pepé Le Pew side-stepping through the 100-year-old walls of my house spritzing every time he brushed up against the nails.