The Missing Link

The Missing Link

Introduction

Disease.

What a word. What a sick, demented word. Something that causes so much suffering in a person’s life. Something that can send a person’s entire world into nothing.

Love. Another word that is sick and demented, but in a different way. It sure as hell can cause suffering, but not like the first word we discussed. Everything in my life, my accomplishments, my success, my pride, my happiness, my grief, meant nothing once love took a toll on my life. Disease and love. Put those two words together and you’ve summed up my life.

Chapter 1: Out With the Old, in With the New

"Molly, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever gotten for me! Thank you." I said in the brightest, happiest voice I could muster. I looked gratefully at the gift Molly had given me. A statue of an angel was on the top with a cute poem engraved in little gold letters on the stool. I would read the poem later. It was time to add this to the many other statues children have given me, but hey, I appreciate it. It was very fulfilling to receive presents from the children, and adults, that I took care of. I kissed Molly on the cheek.

I have been working as an in-home nurse for four years now. Molly, a seven-year-old who had suffered from cancer for many years, was finally ready to take on the world after a year in bed. Everyday I would come to care for Molly. I would miss her. I became so attached to my patient, especially when they were children. I would miss seeing her curly brown locks and hearing her cheerful voice every morning.

In two days I would meet a new patient. He, like more than half my patients, had cancer and I would be treating him for God-knows-how-long.

I was proud of my job, but I have seen more than a few patients have died in the process. There is nothing more horrible than treating a patient for a few months, seeing so much progress from them, and then seeing them lose the battle.

"Take care, Molly. It has been wonderful taking care of you for all this time." I said.

"Thanks, Stephanie." she jumped off her bed and hugged me as tight as she could; which wasn't very tight as she was still weak from it all.

After the child’s parents thanked me, I received the last payment they would ever give me and then left.

I felt like I was on top of the world. I had a whole two days off from my busy job! I originally worked at a hospital, which was so freaking tiring I spent my free time sleeping. Anytime my sisters called me; they’d be waking me up from a nap.

The days at the hospital went by horribly fast. I couldn’t remember anything the next morning. The days just flew by and I was hardly living anymore. My alarm clock would wake me up, I would be still in uniform, and I’d be in desperate need of a shower. All I could remember from the day before was that I had to pee the entire day. Yep that’s right. I was so busy at the hospital I didn’t even have time to go to the bathroom. The other nurses were much stronger than I was. I just couldn’t handle it.

As I drove home, my phone went off. I flipped it open and put it on speakerphone. I have given myself the privilege to talk on the phone while driving. My job makes up for the terrible deed.

"Hello?" I answered over the roar of the cars going by.

"Stephyyyyyy!" yelled an enthusiastic voice. It was Liz. I couldn’t believe it. Every time Liz called me I was ecstatic. Liz and I used to work together at the Flushing Hospital Medical Center. We had become such good friends. She had much more energy than I did though. Liz belonged there. The adjustment I made was much better for me.

"Liz! My God, I can’t believe it! How have you been?" I cried.

"Absolutely drained!" she said in her own good-natured way, "How’s everything?"

"Much easier. I love it!"

"Who’s your patient?"

"Well, I spent half a year looking after a girl named Molly, but she’s all better now."

"Aw. How sweet."

"Yeah, and in two days I’ll meet a new guy who has Hodgkin’s lymphoma."

"Oh, so I bet you’re looking forward to two days off?"

"Hell yeah."

"And your romance life?"

I rolled my eyes. Liz had a boyfriend, and she had the incredibly irritable ability to turn almost every conversation into one about my love life. The longest relationship I’d ever been in was during the summer I graduated from Flushing High School. Since then I’ve been on many dates. I have been in a fair amount of short-term relationships, but nothing ever happened.

"There is none. I just haven’t found the right one."

"Well find him all ready!"

"Liz!" I groaned. I sighed and said, "you probably aren’t free in the next two days are you? Maybe I can get together with you."

"I wish, but my schedule’s packed. I don’t have the flexibility you do. I didn’t take it the easy way out!" she teased. Liz and I were at that point in our friendship where jokes like that which I would find offensive if my parents said it was very amusing when she did.

"The next time I talk to you we’ll be on the phone for hours—"

"I know! I know! Because all I’ll be able to talk about was finding the right guy!" I finished for her. I had heard this too many times.

"Alright then Stephanie, we’re on the same page here."

"It would appear so. I’ve got go."

"Ok, love you."

"You too. Bye."

Yeah she’s pretty pathetic. I know I sound pretty pathetic too. I haven’t exactly had a good track record with men, but why should I become desperate? Sure I don’t have a guy, but I am so happy with my life right now. What’s the use of freaking out over it all? If a guy comes along, then great, but I shouldn’t be unhappy just because he hasn’t.

Then the little voice that contradicted me all the time popped into my head. You’re twenty-six years old, Stephanie. Time is running out.

I shook my head slightly. Who needs men anyway? They’re nothing but trouble.

When I opened the door to my house that evening, my dog Tess went ballistic as usual. Tess was a young golden retriever that I named after a patient I had. She was a child who died of leukemia.

I cried everyday for months after that little girl had died. I was so depressed that I couldn’t even return to my job. I was living off the support of my parents, who were hardly considered a "support". Sure they supported me money wise, but they were terrible with the emotional support that I needed at the time.

"Return to your job Stephanie!" they’d say, or "This is part of being a nurse isn’t it? Move on!"

It was such a waste. Tess had been a smart, kindhearted young girl, and was dead by the time she was five and a half. Another life wasted because of cancer.

The other Tess rested her furry head on my feet, feeling my sudden sadness. My phone rang again, but this time it was my home phone. I reached over from my seat to grab my phone, careful not to cause Tess any discomfort.

"Hello?"

"Hi, may I speak to Stephanie Smith?"

"Speaking."

"How are you? This is Debra Hunter. I just wanted to confirm that you will be here tomorrow at 10 am to meet my son?"

"Yes, to meet—" I paused midway through my sentence. Oh my God I forgot his name. No way I forgot my patient’s name! How could I forget his name? I’ve never done that before, ever! I usually write it down or something. I glanced at the little notepad next to the phone. I had scribbled August 18th at 10. Shoot.

"—Your son." I finished.

"Great, can’t wait to meet you. Take care."

"You too." I said and hung up.

What would I do if they never mentioned his name? I could see it now:

"Hey, I’m Stephanie Rose Smith. It’s great to meet you. Um, I’m sorry but I don’t even know your name. Yeah that’s how much I care about you. I didn’t even bother to remember your name even though it was only mentioned by your parents a thousand times through phone calls."

I shrugged to myself as I scratched Tess behind the ear. She leaned her head against me in enjoyment. I put too much pressure on myself. It’s not unheard of I’m sure.

I went upstairs to settle down for the night and prepare everything I needed to meet…what’s-his-name.