A life I never knew

Well, I'm a high school student; and I am home schooled, but I can't find anyone to give me any decent criticism for my essays so I'm writing them here. Please offer as much advice and suggestions as you can. Please take note, I am not very good at my vocabulary, or expressing myself.

Thank you for reading! :)

The topic is:
Describe the personal experience that gave you the feeling of greatest achievement or satisfaction because of the challenges you met.
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There are many points in my life when I have said to myself, "I can't do it." I am, without doubt, am I very pessimistic person, it has been said about me several time in my life. However I remember this one experience in my life that made me re-evaluate my way of thinking.

It was when I was 12. I had just moved to a new country, and started school very late in the year.I was nervous about being in a new environment,but I was also very excited about the possibilities of meeting new friends. As it turned out, all the children in my class were very amiable and welcoming to me, even though I was a foreigner. I quickly grew attached to them, but my attachment didn't last for long, in the final exam for the year I failed. I was very disappointed but not as disappointed as I was to hear that the rest of the class would be moving up a grade, while I wasn't.

The new year started and I was placed in the lower class. The children were very mean, and a few times they pulled pranks on me. It was one day, while I was crying that my teacher excused me from class, she pulled away from the rest of the class and told me that she was moving me up because of my age. I was of course very delighted, but she told me that the teachers in the higher grade, didn't expect much from me, since I didn't even know the basic teaching, but she did tell me to persevere and prove them wrong. It was at that point that I decided to strive for the best.

When I got to the higher grade, I was told that I was to take a high school entrance exam, and that exam would determine if what school I would enter into. I wasn't thinking about high school at the time. All I thought about was working on staying in the class for the next year.
When I started off it was very difficult for me.I watched as my colleagues attain good grades, even the delinquint students seemed to be up to standard, while I struggled to get a grasp of what I was being taught.

I would stay up for hours studying. My schedule forced me to sleep 5 hours a day, I never stopped. Everyone would see me sitting down in class while they went out to play. I would have a book in my hand and pen in the other, my crimson red eyes scanning over the text book. In about 5 months or so, I ended up being one of the top students in the class. The teachers were amazed at the drive I had, they all commended me for my creditable work; but I was not satisfied, I still had to work hard for the high school entrance exams.

With intense study and fortitude, I received honors not only in the top of my school, but also in the country.My teacher once told me, "You must be like a horse on a race track, your eyes fully focused on the path ahead of you, not serving into any of the other lanes."
My hard work paid off and I was very relieved but also proud of myself. I cried and I thank God for guiding me through. Never in my life had I been so motivated to push myself beyond my limits, I saw my challenge at I faced up to it. Nothing beats the feeling of satisfaction that you get out of raising above the challenges you face in your life.