That's All

I remember the first time I looked in your eyes.

I remember each kiss,

Each embrace.

And the more I remember...

The more I want to forget.

You robbed me of my dignity

My self respect,

And confidence.

Remember the promise we made?

The night you looked into my eyes...

And made me promise to love you forever?

I do.

And I still do love you...

Even though I hate myself for doing so.

Those soft, slow love songs still remind me of you

And some nights I find myself thinking about you...

Reliving the old times.

I find myself dreaming of you.

Old feelings still lingering deep down inside.

It's nearly been a year since this masquerade commenced.

I wish I could say I'm wiser...

But I'm not.

My heart still yearns for your love.

Even though it knows that it’s over.

Sometimes I find myself lamenting in the middle of the night.

Searching...

Searching to find a way to get you out of my head.

To rid the thought of you from my life.

That's all I want.

I loved you...

Only to have that love thrown back in my face.

Because in the end...It was all about you wasn't it?

I never crossed your mind.

And for the longest time I couldn't come to the realization that the person who supposedly loved me...

Never loved me at all.

All I want is my self respect back...

I want the swagger back in my step.

The bravado and confidence to move on...

And forget you.

Like you forgot me.

"Open your heart to me..." you used to say.

And for the first time...

I gave it all I had.

And like all the others...

I walked away empty handed.

All I want is someone to love me.

Someone to be there through the good and the bad...

To give me their heart...

And in turn I'd give them mine.

I'm tired of all the games they want to play.

Spending night after night blaming myself for things I didn't do.

Because all my life...

I've felt unloved.

Used...

Abused...

And I've spent many nights wondering...

When that special someone will appear from the shadows...

And love me forever.

That's all.

Is it too much to ask?

With my luck...

Maybe it is...