The Fallen Warrior

"I Never Really Got Over The Fallen Warrior, And His Death Still Hurts Me Even Though It's Been Awhile And I've Broken Up With My Girlfriend Since Then...But I Guess It Wouldn't Be A Very Meaningful Life If His Death Wasn't A Tragedy To Supersede A Lot Of The Others"

My Grandfather died
Last summer
He actually died on my cousins birthday
Fucking irony of life, huh?
The clock struck midnight and he struck out

Jesus Christ, it was painful
I've never really cried
That much
That sincerely

I've cried before
Over break-ups and rejection
But I didn't really know pain
Until the Fallen Warrior fell

I call him a Warrior
But he wasn't
He was the most
Kind-hearted man
I'd ever met

Jesus Christ

I'm a firm believer
In a world of balance
No, scratch
that

I'm not
A
Firm believer
in
a
n
y
thing

except maybe mankind
and even then i hate them a lot sometimes
because i'm para
n
o
id

and in
sec
ure

BUT, do not let this fool you
I am still a somewhat skeptical believer in a world of balance
that
in
the
end
goodandevil balance each other out
because goodandevil are evilandgood
yyyy i n y a n g n a y n i yyyy

but when Pap died
I felt like the aggregate good in the world decreased
and we'd never get it back

and yeah other good people will be born
through vaginas or through tests of will
but he was
u n i q u e

and im not
going to
exalt him beyond
any
kind
of
rea list ic
stand ard
but

he was a un ique Man
and fuck if we haven't
lost something
good

it hurt me
a lot
when he died

a fallen warrior on a battlefield
except
he wasn't
a
warrior

he was
a
cr
ea
mp
uf
f
fu
pm
ae
rc
a

shit

i guess i dont
really have
a lot
to
say
about this
except that
you know
despite the fact that its been months
and ive had
other things
intercede
in
my
l i f e f i l
i
n e v e r
g o t
o v e r
t h i s
and
h e a r i n g
mia sorella parla dell sua matrimoniale
well
it hurts to know he won't be there
and other family might be there
but he won't
because he died

there is an image
burned in my eyes
i was holding his hand
he was g as pi ng
for
air

oooo hyaaa
oooo hyaaa
oooo hyaaa

the most painful sound
i've e ver heard
for him and me
but im told he wasn't
in pain

not that it matters anyways
because the body was on its way out
windows shut down
no control
no alt
but still a delete

...but no restart

but i went outside
because it was too much
an di needed
to be a lone

ben gibbard

"its gotten late and now i want to be alone"

but i guess yeah
i looked
at his lifeless body
it wasn't him
it was a statue or something
a weird remnant of a life sparked out
like some kind of
weird
aftermath
of a
biological process
we live and live and live
and we become bodies with no life at the end
and we are swallowed back into the earthhhhhhhhhhfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

shit fuck shit

this shouldn't be public