What is reality and what is an illusion? |
Affairs Of The Heart. By Sagi & Inspired By A Friend. ‘Why is it that every time I ask you a question you answer back with another question? What is with you? I really cannot understand it. Since you came back from my dear mother in laws place you have changed Rina.’ It had been six months since his wife had come back from a holiday in London. Rina continued to wash the dishes, not saying anything. Every now and then she would open the white laminated cupboard above her and place the fine china dish neatly onto the stack as she dried them. The chef had left ages ago just after serving them. The tension was thick in the air. It had been like this for the last six months and Mathew had been patient. He had always provided for their family. He loved her but he had a short fuse and for that matter so did she. Their marriage had been going down hill from day three of matrimonial bliss. It was like this every time she had gone for a holiday back to London. All the effort and work that he had put into the marriage seemed to always get washed away like in a flash flood which takes every thing in its path indiscriminately. He had tried every thing with her. Flowers, a car, a beautiful bungalow in an affluent area, he tried to do the little things right but whenever words flowed from their mouths it was like a torrent of fire. If there was ever a couple that really were not a match made in heaven it was this one. Every day he came home with good intentions hoping things would change and he would find a passionate wife, loving him and he, in turn would be able to spend time with her talking, finding common ground and truly enjoying a passionate time perhaps even a romantic weekend in the beach. But it all seemed to disintegrate like a glass blower trying to make a fragile decanter. Their relation just never seemed to stand up to the pressures. His work demanded a great deal of passion and dedication and so did his marriage. Something had to give. Rina felt unappreciated that was solvable but one could not change their respective natures. He was aware that his parents felt the tension between himself and Rina. He knew that it was affecting his work too and reflected badly at times. What could he do; he was between the proverbial rock and a hard place. His duty to Rina and the children would never allow him to leave her, and this mental incarceration was killing him slowly. Mathew was tall athletic good looking but lately his hair had been receding and he was beginning to age faster than he should have on the other hand, though his body remained hard and muscular there was a ring of fat appearing around his wait line and his hair had sprouted some fine silvers on his side burns. Rina, on the other hand, seemed to withstand the sands of time; she still maintained an hour glass figure and her dark luscious hair flowed to her shoulders still maintaining a shin to its texture. ‘How long had it been since he had touched it?’ He couldn’t remember, nor could he remember when he last made mad passionate love to her. Could it possibly have been three years or was it four, he forgot as he continued to gaze at her back side appreciatively. He loved her with his soul but nothing seemed to matter apart from that the long period of time without any intimacy had taken its toll. He had been resisting going out with a lady of pleasure, it wasn’t that he couldn’t afford it, but that was not the point. He was old fashioned and there had to be an emotional attachment if he were to perform at his best. His family had a good business and he was the sole heir to the various companies and financial empire that his father had created, which he now practically ran on his own. His father was semi retired and now only came to the offices occasionally. A number of times his father had asked him to get the ownership matter sorted out legally, but every time Mathew had reluctantly declined to do so. It wasn’t that he could not but the situation with Rina always created a doubt in his mind. Lately there had been little hints that she wasn’t always where he though she was and at the back of his mind he had begun to have doubts, he had never had any evidence to add to the suspicion but he was now ever more inclined to believe that there was perhaps another person in Rina’s life. Eight years ago after one of the severest fights Rina had disappeared. Mathew had been devastated with worry and found out too late that she had taken a flight to London with their new born son. He had hardly seen his son for a year and the bond was permanently damaged. Still he went after her and after spending thousands of pounds and loosing twenty two kilograms in the process and becoming a virtual drunk he did not succeed in bringing her back. In near coma he was dispatched back home, by his friends and admitted to one of the top hospitals with alcohol poisoning and addiction problems. He recovered but his heart would never mend. Still his life began to look up after he came to the conclusion that Rina would never return and he picked up the pieces of his life and began to rebuild. It was not to last long as she was back in his life a few months later. If only he had said no at that time none of this would be happening now. He had always been inclined to look at the better side of others and blame himself for all their faults. James their son was a quiet little boy and very well behaved. This in reality could not be credited to him or Rina, rather the credit there would go to his parents who took a great deal of interest in the up bringing of both their grand sons. His second was born exactly four years later; reluctantly on his part and at the insistence of Rina. He was exactly like her. Demanding, obstinate and spoilt. Still with the love and care that his parents were providing the boy, he was sure that the child would eventually grow up to be a good bright young man. No; in many ways except for this, Mathew had a very good life. He turned around with his hand in his hair and strode out of the kitchen with a determination. He needed to be out and figure out what he was going to do. Rina was out all the time at all odd hours so why shouldn’t he. In most cases the children were at his parent’s house just to give them some stability. So that was ok. The bitch deserved to be on her own. He changed his shirt to a gray Chinese silk one and even before he had closed the buttons he was out of the door slamming it behind him. The moment he walked out he was regretting it. The tears streaked down as he opened the door and got into the car, the electronic computer system recognized him and started up warming as he waited for the seat belt to extend itself and he plugged it in. The stereo system turned on and made available to him his entire library of sixty thousand songs and assorted music for his listening pleasure. He gave a verbal command and the system switched onto the TV mode and the BBC’s latest news came on. Mathew watched as the car warmed and informed him it was ready to be driven off. He wiped his face with a wet wipe and sprayed some cologne as he drove off into the night. Rina watched through the window there were tears in her eyes and her heart went out to Mathew; “Don’t worry my love all will be well again”, she thought as she closed the curtain and began to undress to go in for a shower. The evening was young and there were many night spots around. He began to make the calls to his mates and before he reached out of the drive way they had decided on ‘smokers’ on Lantern Street. The other places were good but usually they began their spree from here and then as the evening wore on they moved to another venue if it suited the others. Usually halfway through the evening most of them were so gone that they just followed the ones who could make even one of their synapses connect up. The beers and the whiskies flowed freely and usually Mathew, who never went to the office on a Saturday, was loaded by the time they were ready. Mathew had never looked at another woman to this day since he was married. It wasn’t for the lack of desire but his conscious always bit him and he could never manage to take the final step. He turned the car into the underground parking and looked around there were one or two familiar cars so at least two of his mates were already there. Usually interesting topics came up and in this mood he wanted to find out more about a girl that the other guys had mentioned on a previous occasion. ‘Nice gorgeous girl, easy lay, no connections, no emotions, just a good fuck- Wham bam thank you maam.’ ‘Yep he could do with a good lay one of these days and ever since they had mentioned her and what with everything happening with Rina, the girl’s description intrigued him. He had dreams about this girl all the time. They said that she dressed immaculately and she was soft spoken, she was articulate, educated, had a great deal of general knowledge and she could hold her drink. The fact that she was a call girl, be it of the most expensive range, did not matter. A couple of the guys his friend knew said she was really amazing in bed. Mathew hadn’t had the chance to see her as the place where she used to hang out on certain days wasn’t one of their regular watering holes, still he was willing to make an exception, especially today. In the last few years his old gang had disappeared and Rina hadn’t met them. She had a group of friends that she never introduced to him and neither had he seen hide or hair of them and he never invited any friends home due to all the tension in the house rather he kept them a distance always meeting them outside. Lately Mathew had really given up looking at Rina and his attention had focused on spending more and more of his time out in the evenings having a social drink and generally making merry with his new friends. Many within the group seemed to suffer the same symptoms as Mathew and so birds of a feather flocked…….. Smokers began to fill up and soon it was impossible to hear any of his mates just across the table in the din. The bar was really crowded and the three tenders were beginning to have a rough time. The drinks reorders began to slow down and Mathew’s mind reverted back to the girl. His imagination combined with a cocktail of wine, whisky, a couple of beers downed with a few shots of tequila in tandem with a cognac was taking its toll. The drinks played a vital part in making his rash decision and he stood up and called for the others to drink up they were going to move out. He called Jack over. Jack had been friends with Mathew longer than the others and was a computer analyst at one of Mathew’s companies. The two were like brothers rather than employer employee. ‘L Lets go guys…’ stammered Mathew as he stood up wobbling on his feet. Jack placed a sturdy hand on his shoulder. ‘Where are we going “bossman?”’ he asked slowly as he too was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol. Mathew turned around, ‘Tonight my maties we are going to see this gorgeous creature you guys have talked about but none of you have seen. Tonight we are really going to find her and see for ourselves if she is worth it and it’s on the house.’ There was a whoop from the other four and a general stampede for the door. The bar tender in hot pursuit, thinking that patrons were leaving the premises without paying the bill, but seeing Mathew he stopped. This was a man who always paid his bills sooner or later. He looked at his bills and noted with satisfaction that it had been paid and there was a reasonable credit too. He shook his head and went back to his job. He had a feeling that there was trouble brewing tonight. Mathew never drank so much usually, unless he was really depressed. His friends had really been pushing hard on the last few occasions but tonight they had gone even further normally they were the first to subtly restrain his drinking spree and get him home safe, but tonight they had taken him beyond the limits. The Cars roared with enthusiasm and carelessness and barely made it out of the garage without hitting each other. Mathew’s BMW in the front moving at breakneck speed down Lantern street and making a u turn moving back up towards Bello’s way. The others following, trying to keep up with the M5 ahead at similar speeds. The timing was right and though there was a crowd outside ‘The Hun’; a real happening pub known for its selected patrons and beautiful women where the subject of their interest was said to frequent regularly was manageable. There were a few parking spaces which the attendant made available seeing the expensive car he quickly deduced a likely chance of a hefty tip and big spenders. Mathew stopped the car in the parking lot a few meters away and locked the car with his remote control and slowly walked towards the upper class pub. The regulars here were almost all well to do since the drinks were priced exorbitantly and most came for the atmosphere. The other cars came into the parking and parked side by side to Mathew’s car and one of them threw a ten pound note to the receptive attendant. Mathew though drunk was hurting inside. He dearly loved Rina. There had never been another woman that he felt so passionately about. He had never once in his life after they got married even looked at another woman more than with simple casual interest. Here he was about to turn another corner in his life. His eyes blurred and his mind still on Rina remembering her naked body touching his, her soft breasts and smooth luscious skin on his, as he stumbled into the door way. ‘Was he doing the right thing? How would Rina feel if she found out?’ This brought tears to his eyes, his conscious on over drive, but then he remembered the pain and suffering for the last four years. They had been enough. He did have the right to live his life. What did he not have? What hadn’t he given her? All this binging and yahooing was a result of not finding that love at home, to worry about her and all the fights and poisonous barbs they had thrown at each other for years. The last six to eight months had been the wrost of his life. The others joined him just as they reached the pavement and entrance to ‘The Hun’. There were women; A lot of women. Mathew’s eyes scanned across the entire room and flicked to the upstairs where there was another bar. He saw a flicker of movement from the corner of his eye as long raven black hair flicked away to reveal a bare back. His heart thumped for the first time. It was intriguing. A slight movement was all that was required to perk his interest. Yet at the back of his mind something vaguely familiar kept pinging away. There were Europeans, Africans, Asians and then some he could not even recognize, but each was interesting. It seemed all the beautiful women flocked here. The Hun was an old style pub with a medieval out look and the owners had spent a great deal of money making the place look aged. There were shields and swords from the Middle Ages hung around and carefully screwed in just in case one of the customers decided to have a go. The wood floors and tops had been deliberately aged and a dark hue given to the furniture, with special attention given to the bar top which was a single piece of hard wood polished and shone down with linseed oil and old style polish. One could smell the oak and the cigar and cigarette smoke mixed in with the charcoal smell being sucked out by hidden fans but one could still smell it slightly. The temperature was controlled and huge air conditioning units helped. He went to the bar and ordered chilly tequilas and Margaritas for everyone. Jack helped him transport the liquor to a hastily set up beer barrel which had been converted to a table. The tequilas were dropped down the gullets in an instant and Mathew turned his eyes upwards to the place he had seen ‘Raven hair’. He noticed instead a pair of lovely almond eyes looking at him without blinking. They were beautiful, their light hazel color were flecked with gold swimming in them. He tried to refocus his drunken eyes back to the face and finally after what seemed like an eternity they did. His heart dropped out, she was gorgeous. Other eyes from his table had followed his line of sight and were enjoying the sight as well. Then they watched him and let out yells of delight and encouragement. There was slight smile playing on her face. She turned around back to the bar at the top giving a full view of her back and the swaying of her long hair reaching down to her lower back. His conscious came back to him with a vengeance and his friends could now see the pain on his face. ‘What he was doing was wrong.’ Rina; no matter how much she hated him was still at home, and as long as she was there, there was always a possibility of redeeming their relationship. His friends were verbally encouraging him to go up and chat to ‘Raven hair’, now and there were a few friendly shoves from the rest. He was still reluctant. There was Rina, there would always be Rina, and far above all that there were the children to think about all this went through his mind as he was forced up and reluctantly made his way subconsciously to the bar and bought an exotic looking drink and made his way in a trance up the stair case with continuous hoops and yells in the background from his friends. He looked up at her as she followed his walk up, her fce slightly inclined in his direction conscious of his approach. She was alone now, it seemed that her friends had decided to give them space. She was dressed in a black sequin dress which was translucent and beneath it he could make out the contours of her body. The bare back all the way to the lower back was absolute naked translucent skin, covered by the long hair flowing down open, and for the first time he was aroused. He had never met a more attractive woman. Her face was almost portrayed into her hair like a beautiful picture placed in an equally beautiful frame. Her ears daintily peeked out from the long luscious open black hair. They almost played their own game with her gorgeous backside where he could imagine; or was it real, the contours almost shimmering underneath the fabric. ‘May I say that this whole room has suddenly dimmed except for a single light to show me the way.’ He said as he approached her, ‘There appears to be no one else in this room’, he continued. She wore a puzzled expression on her face as he approached her. His hand extended with the drink he had bought for her. As he handed it to her and had just barely introduced himself, there was a commotion down below and a rush to the entrance by several of the punters, they surrounded the new comer and ushered her in like royalty. He tried to see who it was and glimpsed a woman, she was slim, all smiles and there was an aura around her. She was even more sexily dressed than the woman he was with, her hair shimmered in the spot lights down below and he watched her make her way to the bar where she was accompanied by the punters competing to get closer to her and draw her attention. He had a vague feeling that he had seen her somewhere, but in his drunken state he could not really pull out the memory. His focus divided between the beauty he was with and the one downstairs that was catching every single able body man’s attention. By this time the girl on his hand was beginning to warm up to his charms and he lost interest in the figure downstairs. He glanced at his friends who were trying to draw his attention and pointing enthusiastically at the new comer. It dimmed on him that the new comer was the girl that they had been talking about earlier in the evening. After some light conversation he knew a little bit more about the girl. A student of law at the local university, this was really her first time out. She needed to let her hair down and her friends had promised to introduce her to couple of their other friends. As it was they had failed to turn up so she had made some new friends upstairs while waiting for them before he had turned up. The commotion had quieted down and Mathew got his first real good look at the woman downstairs and his heart lurched as he saw the man with her put his hand up her skirt and fondle her and she was enjoying it laughing with him. It was obvious that he was simply a casual acquaintance, but his heart stopped when he saw it was Rina. His mind reeled with the shock, everything began to disintegrate right before his eyes, his life and its achievements, his love, his dedication to his family and especially his duty to his wife in that single moment blew out of the window crashing into the abyss that he found himself falling into. He was taken aback by the number of emotions that he felt all at once, desperation, anger, hurt, jealousy but above all an all consuming murderous hatred. His soul screamed but he quelled it. He knew it was over. It was time to take control of this affair. It had gone on too long fooling himself. His mind refused to believe what he was seeing. His wife was being fondled in public by a stranger and she was enjoying it. His friends were pointing at her. These so called friends were lusting after his wife. God knows how many men had made love to her. She was a whore, a creature who he had given everything to, had decided to find satisfaction in other peoples bodies. The picture was vivid and he could imagine her naked body glistening with sweat rolling over his body while he penetrated her their love juices mixes, it wad disgusting and he retched at the thought. His hand which had been holding a whisky tumbler crushed it, and the glass shattered in his hand, he continued to press the shards of the broken glass puncturing his palm and blood began to flow rapidly spilling on his shirt and pants. The girl gasped and quickly drew his attention, her hazel eyes forcing him to focus on her while she opened her purse and removed several tissues and a handkerchief. She gently took his hand and ever so gently blew on the hand while niftily picking out the pieces. Her eyes were moist as he looked at her and he could see that she felt the pain that he was feeling. In all the storm surrounding him he felt a warmth emanating from her. It was almost physical. ‘I am going to have a rough time driving home tonight’ he mumbled feeling for the car keys. ‘Would you mind’, he continued, offering the car keys. The girl smiled, ‘You are kidding right, I mean you hardly know me.’ She continued before he interrupted. ‘Consider it as a favor…… One human being doing for another, I have no intention of taking advantage of you, and I am really not in the mood anymore to have an inquisition from my friends………….By the way what’s your…’ Mona! she said looking at him her eyes showing doubt, she put her arms around his shoulder and said; ‘I don’t even know your name.’ ‘Mathew’ he replied. ‘Well Mathew! You certainly come across as a gentleman and I cannot argue with your choice of ladies either, but you certainly need a change of friend circle in view of what I can see going on below.’ He glanced down to see his friends circling like vultures around Rina, and felt his stomach heave again. They quietly made their way out and found the car in the parking lot. He gave her the keys and got into the passenger seat. Mona got into the drivers seat and the seat moved forward until her feet touched the paddles, her one eyebrow shot up in a comical surprise. He smiled; it was the first time in a long time that he actually felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He pulled out his cell phone and made several calls one of which was to a very angry locksmith and another to his lawyer, one to a judge who owed him more than a few favors, and a last one to the head of immigration giving him the details of Rina and what he wanted done. Satisfied, he took one more look back at Rina, yes it would be a different world for his ex- wife from tonight. Next stop London and this time he knew exactly when she would be leaving. The BMW smoothly moved out of the parking lot and drove off. Inside the Hun things quieted down as the men moved away from Rina immediately after Mathew had left. Jack stood by her. She opened her purse and began to pull out a wade of cash, when she felt a hand gently restrain her. She looked up to see Jack shaking his head and drawing her attention towards the back door to see her father in law enter. Her eyes were brimming with tears as he slowly made his way to her. The bar tenders cleared the bar and the other punters sat down. There was stillness as the watchman came in and closed the door with a notice outside. “CLOSED- PRIVATE FUNCTION”. “He has left with Mona”; he stated to no one in particular. She stood up and straightened her dress and stood respectfully looking at her father in law. ‘Is it over?’ his voice quivered a little. Her voice was emotional but low, ‘Yes! I think so’, His cell phone began to ring. He picked up the phone and spoke in quiet tones, ‘Yes my friend, thank you, we do this tonight as agreed.’ Just as he put the phone down the phone rang again and a similar conversation took place several times before the phone fell quiet. ‘It is over, he has made the calls as predicted’, he stated to the room. The silence was deafening. He turned around the room and looked at each of the people sitting as the bar tenders came down from the top and the others with the waiters followed and sat down at the various empty tables. Finally another group came out of the back door that he had entered into the main bar from. This included the owner of “The Hun”, and another middle aged couple. Rina ran to them and hugged the woman in a tight embrace. ‘I had to loose him mum, there was nothing else, I love him so much but I cannot see him waste himself in suspicion and anger like this, it is destroying my family! He would have never left me. Never! Not to his dying day! It would have eaten him every day. He would have wasted everything for his principles.’ She turned around the tears rolling down now freely. She wiped them off and took control of her emotions as she stood in the middle of the room and looked around. ‘Thank you everyone, thank you for all your support and understanding and sympathies through this time of need. Without all of you I would never have been able to do this.’ She turned around and walked into the arms of her father in law. ‘Tell him when the time is right. Not right now but when he marries Mona and he will understand. She has loved him since she was fourteen years old. Tell him I will always love him so much that I can never be with another and will live without him to see him happy. Tell him the truth when the time is right that there really was no one else, but let him calm down first and it will take him time perhaps six months from now perhaps a year but he will and he will see sense, right now I need that vengeful anger of his to make the decisions for him’ Her father in law’s voice quivered with emotion. ‘Thank you! You are no longer my daughter in law, you are my daughter, when a child places her family above herself she can never be apart. She is always part. I have arranged finances for you in London and given the details to your mother. Do not forget us we are yours and will always be yours. Don’t worry the children will follow in six months time you need not worry.’ He turned around allowing her to return back to her parents as he returned back into the room from which he had appeared. Rina opened the front door and walked out with her parents to the waiting car outside. Next stop London. Note from the Author: This story had several endings in the course of the last two years. In all of them Mathew was vindicated as the hero and victim while Rina was always the villain. I was never quite satisfied with these endings. In one ending Mathew was violent while in another he simply moved on. In yet a third ending Rina was the cool conscious character that had changed over the years to a full time loose character. While yet in another she was a character that did not want to be found out but had to take the consequences. None of the above came to par and this story remained unpublished. It was only during the course of this week that I felt that Rina was not the villain. Just simple sacrifices from the various characters to understand human emotion. |