All I've Ever Wanted Chapters 10-13

Chapter Ten
~
“Harsh.”
“Just a little.”
“He’s winner.”
“Tell me about it.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“What about her?”
“Yeah, what about her?”
“I’m surprised you didn’t kick her ass.”
“As tempting as it sounds... It’s his infidelity and my problem; not hers; she’ll get hers eventually... plus, she sounds about as dumb as a bag of rocks.” I add, referring to the emails scattered on top of the table. “She’s not very attractive, either. When I saw her at the bar for the first time, I was justifiably offended.” He chuckled in disbelief. “I’m serious! She has stunning, long, think dark hair, but her face is a… what do you boys call it? A double bagger?!”
“A two bagger…” He stares at me amused. “When did it start?”
“Which part?”
“All of it. Start from the beginning.”
“Well, you read most of it. It’s hard to recall every single detail of the last ten years.”
“Understandable. Are you going to stay with him?”
“I don’t know. In the beginning, he was sweet, charming, and generous. I know there have been other women. I just didn’t realize how many until recently.”
“There’s more?”
“Yeah. A lot more.”
He just looks at me, puzzled.
“I’ve found out about most of it within the last few weeks; since our friends’ death.”
“Who’s ‘this friend’, by the way?”
“Bart, he’s an old friend of Jackson’s from college. He and Jackson played on a rugby team together. Jackson used to take me to every tournament; until Bart joined. Then I wasn’t welcome to tag along any more.
I found out at Bart’s funeral that he and Jackson did more than play rugby on the weekends they were out of town for tournaments.” As I change my position to the top of the picnic table; I rest my elbows on my knees and remorsefully hide my face in my hands, taking a deep, calming breath. Kindly, James places an encouraging hand on the wide of my back, urging me to go on. My skin seems to burn at the touch…
“There were parties and nightclubs; women would take pictures of themselves in bathroom stalls and then send them via phone to Bart and Jackson, waiting outside. You and I both know that the pictures weren’t of smiling faces…
You know, amazingly, I’d be ok with it… all of it, the pictures, the girls at the bars; but then they took those girls back to their teammate’s house, where they were staying for the weekend, and they all proceeded to get naked in the hot tub…
While stupidly, I sat at home with the kids thinking about him! Hoping he was having a good time with the boys! What an idiot!! He has made such a fool out of me! I know all of the guys on the team! I go to the team parties and picnics! I know all of there wives and children! I can just hear them talking about us, ‘Poor Abbey; She has no idea...’ I mean, I knew they went out, maybe hit a strip club, but come on! Naked women in a hot tub??? That’s what you do behind your wife’s back??? God only knows what else happened… I don’t want to know… I can’t handle knowing anything else!”
“Shhh, shhh, it’s gonna be ok.” He rubs the small of my back reassuringly, “Do you think you could forgive him?”
“I don’t know. I honestly don’t think so. Now, whenever he touches me, my skin crawls. Last night, I had to ask him to turn off the lights and put myself somewhere else; somewhere far, far away.”
“Ooh.”
“Sorry.” I say, nudging his side with mine. The jealous tone of his ‘Oh’ tells me he doesn’t want to hear the details. “But yeah, it’s bad. How could he do these things to me, then expect me to get over them and go back to our life the way it was? Sure not including me, not inviting me, that alone hurt; but come to find out the whole time it was just to get it on with some dumb tramps!” Violently shaking my head, I say, “It’s over. I can’t do this anymore… It’s been good, it’s been bad, and each time, I thought we’d work through it. Until this last time. I just can’t. I can’t.”
“You deserve better.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“You’re amazing.”
“For what? Staying with a cheater? A liar; a fraud?”
“For working at your marriage, for sticking it out this long.” He says, looking at me with an inspiring express of respect in his eyes.
“Yeah, amazingly stupid.”
“No. Amazingly patient, and forgiving, and… wonderful. No one can blame you for not trying as hard as you have”
“Thank you for not judging me.”
“Do you still love him?”
“No, I don’t love him, I detest him.”
“Then I’m not judging you.”
The silence after his response is deafening.
He breaks it by saying, “Come on, let’s go for a drive.”

Chapter Eleven
~
“Thanks again.” I say as we gather the left over pizza and napkins.
“For what?” He asks, distracted, I can only imagine what he is thinking.
“Everything.”
On our walk back to the car, I ask; “Don’t you have to get home?”
“No.” He looks at me with concern in his eyes. “Do you want to be alone?”
“No… I just thought…”
“Stop thinking.” He says, grabbing my hand mid-swing. His fingers interlace with mine, causing a devastating effect to my insides.
“I’ll try.” I say timidly. “Where are we going? Do you have a destination in mind? Or would you like to take in a movie?”
“Sure.” He shrugs, kicking at the grass as we walk. “There’s a new theatre that just opened up over on Paradise. We could go there.”
“I was thinking more along the lines of ‘West Side Story’”
“A drive in…” he says, forcing his eyebrows up and down playfully; “sounds romantic…”
“Get your mind out of the gutter.” I say, nudging him with my elbow, drawing my hand from his, I can’t hold his hand... Can I?
“If you don’t stop hitting me, I’ll...” He says, raising a hand in a sarcastic manner.
“You’ll what?! Huh? Huh?” I tease, continuing to shove his arm with mine.
“…have to hurt you,” he says, grabbing the top of my arm, spinning me around. Our faces so close I can feel his warm, damp breaths on my skin.
“I dare you.” I say in a sexy undertone, my glare never leaving his. Quickly, I tear my arm from his grip, darting in direction towards the car. I can hear him mumble something under his breath while catching up to me, pinning me to the side of the car. He forcefully turns me around with an accentuated playfulness, his chest heaving against mine, I can’t keep my eyes from his angelic softness, enjoying the weight of him against my body; crushing my sorrows.
What would it be like to taste those supple lips again? God I want to feel that mouth against the cool of my skin, I want him to make me forget the last ten years without him never happened.
“Get in,” he says in a raspy voice, forcing the back of my hand against the cold metal of the car, gracefully grabbing the keys from my fingers, allowing his to linger for just a moment, and then trail down my forearm, causing my skin to pucker. “I’ll drive.”

Chapter Twelve
~
“I thought we were going back to the hotel…” I say after he takes a wrong turn out of the park.
“We will. I want to show you something first.” His dominating glance making me desperate to defy his sudden control.
“Watch the road…”
“Yes, Ma’am.” He says with a military salute.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
“Fine. Meanwhile, you owe me an explanation.”
“For what?” He asks, in an irritated tone.
“About how you ended up with the shopping center.”
“Oh, that.” He says, dispelling hot air that seems to have been pent up in his lungs for a year.
“Yeah, that. Why do you act so agonized over it? It seems like such a great opportunity.”
“Oh yeah?” He looks at me, a mixture of pain and frustration on his face and in his voice. “Fine… here it is. You know my dad owned a construction company.”
“Yes.”
“Well, about two years ago, an investor friend of his, Max, had these grandiose ideas and somehow managed to convince my dad to borrow against the equity in his company to invest in some commercial property.”
“No way.” I remember his dad as an exceptionally stubborn man; anyone trying to talk him into anything was unheard of.
“Long story short, my dad, Max, one of the architects on our crew, and another guy each bought a share of this property. And as a favor to my dad, Max gave me the bid on the project and I got to design and build the shopping center; which was huge for me; this was my first big project.”
He turns to me and I nod my head in understanding, urging him to continue.
“Anyways, during construction, Max and I spent a lot of time discussing the progress of the buildings and other collective ideas we had for it.
The week the project was scheduled for completion; Max and my dad were both killed in a car accident.”
Instinctively, I grab his hand. This time, I know he heard my sharp breath intake.
His eyes stared straight ahead, never wavering. His grasp returns mine appreciatively, his fingers gripping with a compelling force. I wish I could take his pain away.
“Max left everything to me, I guess he had no real family; my dad split everything equally between us six kids and my mom.”
He lost his dad, his friend, and gained an unwanted, impromptu vocation all in one day. The complexity of the situation has to be unbearable. The very definition of bittersweet.
“I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks. Thank you… for understanding…” he adds, almost as a side note, “you always have.”
We drove the rest of the way in silence, our thoughts left unspoken yet understood; our hands clinging to each other in a compulsive need, desperate for emotional healing.
I can feel the nostalgic, haunting despair radiating from his fingertips.
At first, I thought he was mourning his dad, his friend and/or his adverse situation. But he isn’t. The tormenting anguish I feel is because of us, right now… what we had and what we could of should have had. He’s mourning us. He’s grief is stemming from what he believes isn’t ours. Like this very moment. He thinks I belong to someone else…

Chapter Thirteen
~
“Where are we?” I ask as the tires creep on a long, gravel driveway, old oak trees lining either side of the path.
“My place.”
Just then, the trees part and the stone driveway curls around the front of an old, Colonial style house, standing tall and proud on the wooded lot. The light blue beauty stands tall among the fragrant green pine trees and magnificent blue skies. The tall chimney and soaring bunkhouse tower aim for the sky while the front porch reaches wide around either side of the house with big cedar pillars.
He stops the car and comes around to open my door. My eyes are completely enthralled by his beautiful home. So this is where he lives.
He takes my arm, guiding me up the ambling steps until we are standing on the sweeping front porch. Relaxed, comfortable rattan chairs enhance the front porch and circular greeting area.
The front double door is divided horizontally with decorative crown molding above the door and flattened columns to either side of it. Along either side of the columns are perfectly symmetrical windows hung in adjacent pairs.
As he opens the front door, an elaborate two story foyer and ascending stairway come into view. Immediately inside the front door is a large pine hutch, where he drops his keys in a basket.
“Good God, James. This is absolutely beautiful.”
“Thank you. If you’d like, I’ll give you the five-cent tour.”
“Please.”

Starting off to the right of the entry, there is an open and attractive living room running the entire length of the house. With pale gold walls, a massive stacked stone fireplace and a soaring ceiling, it immediately generates the sense that you’re in a very special haven. The room deftly retains a warm, relaxed feel with numerous wood elements and comfortable, inviting furniture. The chenille upholstery on the sofa and chairs matches the washed-out white of the sky on a hazy day; the green throw pillows and blanket are the color of moss and leaves, while the brown rug is reminiscent of the forest floor. Seen through the huge windows on opposite walls, is an incredible view of the private acreage and glistening Cedar Lake off in the distance.

Opposite of the living room, to the left of the entryway, is the casual elegance of the dining room. Centrally located is a remarkable, handmade old lumber dining table, boasting plenty of room for ten people. The dark wood of the table complements the worn stain of the build-in china cabinet and contrasts the off-white of formal floor-length curtain panels, gently softening the sweeping view of the wooded area outside giving it an easy, comfortable sense of intimacy.
Adjacent to the dining room is a state-of-the-art, “magic triangle” kitchen with a deep-basin sink and beautiful yellow and blue tile backsplash, built-in appliances with custom panels that blend beautifully with the wood cabinetry. The center work island with cook top has casual grouped seating around one end of the island.
Just beyond the kitchen is a sunroom and breakfast nook, splashing this inviting room in warm sunlight. The intimate sunroom is a refreshing contrast to the scope and grandeur of the rest of the house. Privacy is at a premium here, with handsome board-and-batten wainscoting and an outstanding view of Cedar Lake, perfect for the Sunday paper and a crossword puzzle curled up on one of the two cozy loveseats.
“Come, see the upstairs.”
Walking through the laundry room with front-loading washer and dryer, a large counter with stainless steel sink with bronze faucet, and ample cabinet storage, the room is located across from the kitchen and adjacent to the mudroom and garage.
He leads me up the back stairwell, just beyond the utility room, to the bedrooms on the second floor. The first room we enter is the Master Suite.
A symphony of soft silk, cotton and velvet it is wonderfully contrasted by rugged iron, wood and wicker and adds new meaning to the term "private retreat."
The spacious room contains matching leather chairs that hug a private balcony with a soothing view of the water and woods, creating a little nook of comfort and serenity.
Through French doors, the next room isn't so much a bathroom as it is an experience. A rich, deep hardwood floor leads you to the luxurious glass-enclosed shower. The first thing to greet you upon entering is the huge step-up whirlpool tub with a large window, and is dressed with the same velvet and fantastic view as the bedroom. Above the tub, a romantic hanging candelabra with dozens of candles, and across from it, a lavish fireplace.
Through two saloon doors, a brilliant, roomy walk-in closet and a dressing area, the perfect set-up if you want to shower and dress without waking someone who’s asleep in the next room.
Walking through the massive closet, back into the hallway, he leads me further down the hall and up a set of stairs to an area that is refreshing and rustic, reminding me of a hayloft of a barn, filled with down-to-earth charm.
The whimsical space at treetop level contains a cozy kid’s room with two sets of huge, plush bunk beds. At the far end of the room, there is an unforgettable view of the land below, soaring high above the rest of the house, with a small balcony. It is a wonderful, imaginary space for any adoring child.
“Oh My God, this is amazing.”
“Yeah, the kids love it.”
“They better! It’s a wonderland!”
We walk back down the stairwell, past the mudroom, and into the basement.

“The basement.” He announces, nonchalantly.
“This is more then just a basement.” I respond, flabbergast by the spacious and understated elegant details of the room.
A stunning stone fireplace dominates the entertainment room. At the touch of a remote, the giant picture above the mantel pivots, and a big, flat-screen television reveals itself, facing the soft, cushy chenille sofas. The woodsy earth tones of the room blur the line between indoors and out and perfectly mirror nature. Behind the sofas, is a full bath and wet bar.
Just off the entertainment room, a sun-drenched exercise space with floor-to-ceiling mirrors and a TV in the corner. Beyond that, a home office and a sturdy oak desk with a tall, tufted leather desk chair. The room is framed by oak bookshelves, filled with leather-bound books.
“Ready to go outside?”
“Don’t tell me there’s more.” But from the glimpse I stole of the backyard during the tour, I know there was.
Slowly, he leads the way out through a set of sliding doors and onto a custom double deck overlooking the still lake and what seems like thirty acres of wooded land.
“James, this is all yours?”
“Yes.”