The Silent Gift

Arriving that monday morning not knowing what to encounter walking through

the door. "Breathe deeply and smile." I tell myself walking through the thresh hold

of my friends home. At first glance with out a thought nothing has changed much

since visiting the week before. But then it hit me with full expression. Everything is

different, nothing is the same. It will never be the same again. From this day foward

my friends brave challenges of the fierce cancer ravaging his body within have

become appearent in every way.

The past week before he seemed so accepting and brave with his fight against

cancer and knowing comfortably clear the path he chose for his family to prepare

last wishes. His will was written clearly and simpily. The sheet for DNR instruction

only to make him comfortable in his last hous clearly visible for the care givers to

see and read displayed in a waterproof cover sheet posted on the frigidare.

As I prepare for the day I volenteered to help his wife with cleaning and such

errands needed at the time. She appeared with a brave smile to be strong. I felt

only for outward appearances. Although some families can only be prepared so

much. The little girl inside her was begining to break at the seems.

You see they were high school sweet hearts in a non traditinal way.

If you could ever possibly believe in soulmates. Then this was their story. Age has

no difference in ones eyes of a soulmate. They simpily waited for their time to

become one.

Now after nearly thirty years by each others side the life they share will soon

come to an end. What he will leave behind is a legacy and precious memories. A

gift for her to hold.For her only. She is accepting and forever greatful for the time

spent well. Not lost but remembered with no regrets.

I peer around the corner to see if I could be of any more assistance today. The

room he is in now is comfortable and bright. With a window on one wall and a paio

door open to let the breeze flow through. His dog sits paitiently quiet outside just

beyond his reach. In the window he looks through hangs a butterfly dream catcher

and a bright bouquet of mylar baloons lightly moving with the air. He is listening to

a light jazz classical station on the bedside strereo. The volume only a whisper.

He requests a shave from his wife sitting next to him. As I slip quietly to his

bedside to observe her skill and bravery at shaving his now ashten faded completion

They share a small glance of affection at one another smiling he tells her "It's alright

I trust you will not cut me too badly." He reaches to hold my hand as I am curious

looking on. His strong embace was a welcome surprise and a releif to me. As his

wife finished cleaning him up when she was through. Going to the laundry to wash

the linens he leaned his head toward my way saying softly,"Thank you. You

needed to hold my hand more than I needed to hold yours. He continued," To say

good bye I understand Im fading quickly and will not remember you by next week

if I am still here. Do not feel bad for us. I have had a great long life, I have been

happy and now I am ready to go ahead to lifes' biggest journey to die is a process

of a new begining. With this last word he fell asleep peacfully, his grip of my hand

softened and he let go.

The silence filled the room and I sat with him in thought of his words he told me.

Heaven awaits his arrival. To go ahead with out fear his calling will soon be

complete, his journey for going home is almost over.